Straight
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“I'm reasonably straight”
~ Pat Sharp on being straight"
“What's that?”
~ Elton John on his knowledge of heterosexuality
“When I was very little, I always wanted to be like that ... ha, silly, childish thoughts!”
~ Oscar Wilde on childhood dreams
“Just because I'm thin and neat and fashionable doesn't mean I am not straight, nice ass by the way”
~ Ryan Seacrest on rumors
Straight is a Euclidean concept which assumes a minimum distance between two points "A" And "B." The concept is inherently flawed, however, since the distance between any two points is filled with an infinity of points, each equidistant from either end point. This is proven by the fact that motion is impossible.
[edit] Things you may get called by gay people
- You're such a heterosexual!
- Straight bastard!
[edit] Guide to being straight
- Fuck people of the opposite sex and like it.
- Don't be bent.
[edit] See Also
- Person of non-homosexual persuasion
- Going from A to B without popping somewhere diversionary on the way like the pub at C.
Straight also refers to the heterosexual population (which is diminishing due to the lack of communication and thinking skills among the heterosexual males.) "Straights" are often seen trying to prove how "straight" they are. (This goes back to ancient greece times where men ran around a stadium nude.) Heteroxuals feel the need to prove themselves on a daily basis because they are well aware that they are a dying species. An easy alternative would be for the them to let go of insecurites and ljhiuubiubiubearn how to communicate properly, however, this may take a few centuries of evolution.
Prove you are Heterosexual
- When you hug another dude, tap the back three times
- 1...2...3
- Yes, good. This clearly indicates 'I'm.Not.Gay'
Many straight people are, in fact, gay people masquerading as heterosexuals. This has been known to cause confusion, anger, pain, destroyed families and occasionally chemical warfare. The most famous gay person masquerading as a heterosexual is Dick Cheney.
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