Strapping Young Lad

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Strapping Young Lad is a Canadianic metal band, on "Serious Records", started by Devin Townsend, an escaped mental hospital patient, kept in solitary confinement due to insomnia, being a "total fucking psychopath", and generally regarded as a hippy and a communist. Townsend was also formerly backing vocalist and percussionist for Asian-sensation Steve Gai. They originally planned to sell cookies at a RIDICULOUS price under the blasphemous guise of Pope John Paul II.

Template:One of my more confusing affairs. I loved him, but hated him

1 Current lineup
2 Serious History
3 Discography
4 Music videos
5 See Also

[edit] Current lineup

Devin Townsend - Percussion and all the annoying paperwork stuff
Jed Simon - Sitar and U.F.O's
Byron Stroud - Bus driver. Also works in a factory that makes fear
Gene Hoglan - Serious

Left to right: Townsend, Simon, Stroud and Hoglan

In live performances, Strapping Young Lad have been known to slaughter their audiences by accident with racial slurs and giant flails, which coincides with their lack of a large fanbase.

[edit] Serious History

A typical Strapping Wee Lassie show

In the same spirit as Oscar Wilde, Strapping Young Lad began as quite a regularly weighted object. Once they did some really cool stuff and then something happened so they didn't. This brought the release of their debut album "Heavy Objects and How Not to Handle Them", it was critically acclaimed by some people.

Rather than remain a solo project, or release a second album Strapping Young Lad invested what they had made by building a City, and coincidentally, this city was a Heavy Object. Oscar Wilde was hired to help build the city and mix the bands music. He and Devin Townsend fell in love, the frontman thinking the poet was a woman.

After recording several very successful instruction tapes, Devin Townsend formed a giant cult, and many people were against it (including Jehova's Witness, singular). So eventually he just gave up and sold his secret stamp collection he had been hiding from the other band members.

Then came the shocking truth. In 2002, Bussist Byron Stroud's house was avalanched in 100 tonnes of fluorescent green jelly. He never ate his way out, and was found dead in the aftermath - After Math being the name of Strapping Young Lad's spiteful tribute to Stroud on their next album, it's lyrics included shocking lines such as "Byron you were gay and we never liked you anyway, firetrucks, FIRETRUCKS.", Stroud's family were shocked at this, and formed the band Fear Factory.

Strapping Young Lad then encountered further problems when the rest of the band was killed in a horrible bus crash in 2005, ironically after they released their next single "We're Going to Die in a Horrible Bus Crash" from their "Allen" album.

In actual fact, Strapping Young Lad's bus crashed into a time machine, causing the band to go back in time by about 10 minutes, they decided not to crash this time, and wrote about it later on for their upcoming album "The New Minority" in 2006. The album is profoundly anti-capitalist and racist, as reported by listeners of the promotional copy which leaked in June 2006 on the internets. Most of SYL's fans were surprised when it was discovered that it was not a rap album.

The band is currently on an undetermined hiatus as leader Devin Townsend, after breaking up with lover Oscar Wilde, has decided to go back to his roots as a street busker in Vancouver. He doesn't actually play any instruments as most of his street act is comprised of him shouting non sequiturs that almost always reference episodes of Frasier. People usually pay him to stop but he usually continues to rant and rave until he disrobes and begins to sell himself as a human coffee table. The other members of SYL went on to perform on the Grammy nominated album "Dirt in my Colon" by renowned homo/gremlin rapist Elton John.

[edit] Discography

Recipe For Hat Cover - Strapping Young Lad faced charges from Evangelist Black Metal band Bad Religion for stealing their Recipe for Hate album cover and making it better.