Strawberry bread pudding

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Strawberry bread pudding is a humane and ethical alternative to the brains and stinking flesh normally required for nourishment by zombies, hags, and ghouls. It has been speculated that it was invented by the Aztecs so that they could stop having to kill people, but the Flying Spaghetti Monster killed them all, so it is obviously not a good idea to do this.

[edit] Proponents of Pudding

Strawberry bread pudding, in various forms, has been featured on Oprah forty-two times now, making it the third most popular dish, behind fried chicken and Macauley Culkin. She consumes four pounds of it daily, claiming that it "keeps the voices away", and that it "is almost as good as the real thing". When questioned on what the real thing is, she often politely clams up like a radioactive clam stuck in cement, or she brutally murders the questioner.

[edit] Strawberry bread pudding manufacturers around the world

Oprah, in conjunction with Nestle, produces 94% of the world supply of strawberry bread pudding. The factory in Guam, powered by four Murphy's Law-powered cat-anti-gravitational devices, can produce four tonnes of strawberry bread pudding every hour. This is indispensable for Guam, with it's high proportion of zombie citizens, and 22% of what is produced stays in the country. The rest is shipped to zombie hotspots around the world, including the USA, Europe, Australia and parts of Euthanasia. The Government (at least, those bits of it not nursing leprosy, or trying to fend off a mysterious spy named Agent Orange who keeps on trying to blow up his arch-enemy, Agent Brown in their buildings), ofVietnam has claimed that it imports enough Strawberry bread pudding to placate the numorous zombie soldiers left over from the war. However, a National Geographic investigation revealed that they import only 10% of what they would need to feed all of their zombies, raising doubts over the existence of several inland villages, which had been presumed cut off by storms.

[edit] Ingredients

Strawberry bread pudding, like apple pie, Condoleezza Rice and Enron, is full of all-American goodness. It is made only from the finest strawberries, four-day old bread crusts, cream and, for those who love that just-like-momma-made made taste, little bits of snot where Jimmy has dipped his finger in just after picking his nose.

[edit] Controversy

In 2003 Oprah was sued by Fox TV after she said on live television "I am not ever going to watch Fox ever again. This strawberry bread pudding is so good I don't feel safe dirtying up my body". After a vicious lawsuit, in which Fox was fined $42000 for cancelling Futurama and Family Guy, Oprah tempted their wrath once more by saying "you know, I don't think I'll ever watch them anyway."