Strong Bad
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Subject: RE: THAT'S FRICKEN AWSOME!
DELETED!
Strong Bad (October 31, 1915) is among the most notable and prolific singer/songwriters and astrophysicists of the past decade. Though his early work is among some of the most well-known work of our time, he has rejected his early career as "total crap", and now will only write for himself, or "the ladies". Often referred to as "Stinkoman", and threatened by anime fans, he told them to "get that freaking camera outta my face".
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[edit] Biography
[edit] IMMA FIRIN MAH LAZAH!!!!Aaaaaaaaaaah Forget it
Strong Bad was born in Parts Unknown, USA. He is the accident of Ms. Strong and Senor Cardgage (AKA Strong Dad), who left to lurk in the shadows shortly after his birth. Though little is known about his youth, it is known that Strong Bad met fellow songwriter and mythical recluse Homestar Runner, as well as Homestar's singer-songwriter girlfriend, Marzipan. In 1944, he entered Bridge, or Bridge on the River Kwai University, where he was lectured by the great Alec Baldwin Pint O'Guiness, where he eventually earned a B.A. in Pressing the Demo button on a Keyboard, with a double minor in sociology and "sponges". Taking this experience, Strong Bad later founded and ran, for a short time, Crazy Go Nuts University. At CGNU, where "the future is you... probably" students earned degrees to become as awesome as Strong Bad in Cheesing People Off, Cutting Ones, Home Invasion and the like. The University also boasts such graduates as Homestar. It is well known that Strong Bad murdered his brother Strong Good when Strong Bad saw save a chainletter and then sent it to his entire contact list. Strong Bad was pissed and deleted that bitch.
[edit] Current Life
While masturbating in his basement one day (how he does this with boxing gloves on I don't know), Strong Bad discovered a totally new sound "the slap slap slap". Going into business for himself and promoting his own records, Strong Bad fast became a rising star in the underground music scene. However this took a turn for the worse when the Red Hot Chili Peppers stole his style of music - Strong Bad remained philosophical "I play music with myself for my own enjoyment", and devoted himself to developing a new musical style, one which has yet to surface, maby you should write him an email about it.
At one point in time, Strong Bad's career as a musician wasn't paying the bills. He relied on touching a children's book to help him through this troubled time.
Strong Bad is also a big time stalker. Recently, he has become obsessed with Pokemon's Dawn. Dawn has E-Mailed him many times to stop. Strong Bad then prints the e-mail out and gets to "first base" with them.
[edit] The Artist
While he started out as a caricature artist on the streets of Zaire in the 1980s, Strong Bad found his true calling in dragons. Pushed on by his mentors Billy Zane and Damien Hirst Strong Bad developed a style of paraplegic Dragon Drawing, which Donald Trump incorporated into his boardroom.
Strongbad has moved on to new areas, such as painting sheep green - though he has publicly lamented the intervention of his friend Damien Hirst, who frequently eats the sheep.
[edit] Family Life
Strong Bad is currently married with a spouse and 2 daughters whom will remain anonymous.
[edit] Selected Discography
(in no particular order)
- "Everybody To the Limit" - written by Strong Bad, with Strong Bad, for Strong Bad - a controversial move which was revealed in the press, causing Strong Bad to distance himself from himself. The LP concerned his girlfriend at the time, Fhqwhgads (although it is claimed that he was also dating Ali and Ali's Sister, for which he was attacked by a mob for being a paedo).
- "The System Is Down" - a lackluster attempt at covering a well-known techno song. It has a cult following.
- "Pop-Up Book Of My Dreams" - Strong Bad's latest album; it has received much good publicity from Strongbadia's music critics.
- "Trogdor" - written in the familiar style of Dr Dre and Mozart, the song was lauded for its tale of life as a Dragon - a theme critics saw as a logical continuation from his art.
- "Wamp Wamp (What It Do Remix)Clipse featuring Strong Bad" - Strongbad's first rap song was not a huge hit but made it to 47 on the charts. Unnoficial national anthem in Gayland and Japan.
- "StrongBadia National Anthem" with no particular exciting thing.
[edit] Quotes
(yet again no particular order)
"Somebody get this freakin' duck away from me!"
"No. I mean, no. I mean, no."
"Number one on Strong Bad's bottom 10 is: Th......cleaning your own puke off the keyboard."
"Knockin' on heaven's door- [falls through clouds] HOLY CRAAAAAAP!"
"It's my crappier and crappiest computers!"
"Oh, yeah. I'd rather die!"
"Stiney! Get me a Danish!"
"Keep knockin' on heaven's door... Holy crap!....."
"And the Trogdor comes in the NIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHTTTTT!!!!"
"And coming in at number 91 it's... EEEMMMMAAAAAAAAAAILLL!!!!"
"Not only do I like the cut of your jib, I likes the sound of your town. Murfreesboro."
"when email comes to town you know you know it's like a rainstorm in your browser"
"You people and your demands. Look, I'm not here to fulfill your every freakin' whim, alright? Make a song about me. Send Trogdor over to my house. Put on a purple thing and dance around! Well I've had it!"
"I FREAKIN' HATE SIBBIE!"
"Crap!"
"Holy crap!"
"Shut up, lady!"
"Deleted!"
OH...hohohoho... [devilish laugh]"
"Do you guys take Pizz points?"
"We're takin' this baby to da moooooooon!"
"I'm Carmen freakin' Miranda!"
"I'm Carmen freakin' San Diego!"
"I'm Carmen freakin'... Oh wait. I'm Ozone."
"When email comes to town you know you know it's like a rainstorm in your browser, when email comes to town I know I know its like a netscape hurricane"
" And I will never, ever, ever, ever, ever write a song about Sibbie."
[edit] Neighbors
[edit] Senor Cardgage
Senor Cardgage is allegedly the creepy man who lived down the street from Strong Bad and his brothers when they were little, although Police reports confirm that this was an alias used by Strong Bad at the time. For this crime - specifically branded a hate crime under the "laws against degrading paedos" act (2000), Strong Bad was thrown in jail, where he inbred with himself to produce hideous offspring Mr. Freeze, Rupert Murdoch, and George Clooney. He has also been known to eat chocolate bars loudly while standing too close to you in a queue.
[edit] Sbemails
Strong Bad has answered many SBemails in his time. Back a long time ago when SB still had his Tandy 400, he answered an email known as "Sisters". His Tandy was jacking up, and he accidentally deleted an email a girl Ali sent him about her and her sister. Another very insulting SBemail popped up. He tried to delete it but the Tandy saved it, forever. Recently during December 2006, police investigated a report of sexual abuse. SB was charged with sexual assault on a minor and put in jail. That is one reason there haven't been very many Sbemails in the past 5 months.
[edit] Favorite Things to Do
Delete your emails.
[edit] Asplode?!?
Often Strong Bad is credited for creating asplode, when in fact it was created one day deep in the internets in order to create lulz, soon migrating into movies and other shit like that.
"Your head a splode" is the term coined by Strong Bad.
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