Super Nintendo

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It's a Super Nintendo, whether you like it or not.

The greatest super hero... EVER.

The Super Nintendo Entertainment System or Super NES was a video game console released by Nintendo in North America and Engrand at some point between the beginning of time and the end of time. There has been fervent chatter on the blogosphere that the Super Nintendo might be resurrected at some point after the end of time. Nintendo firmly denies this. In South Korea, it is known as the Devil in a Man's Bikini and was distributed by Sir Lancelot of the Lake.

The Super Nes is the hot, steamy lovechild of NES and Gameboy. The console introduced remarkably advanced graphics and sound capabilities that greatly enhanced the workingman's abilities to sit down after tea and KILL STUFF.

[edit] History

[edit] Birth

Super Nintendo was born to NES and Gameboy, after a wondrous One Night Stand lasting many revolutions of the Earth. When it was first squeezed out, NES thought it was "a vibrator!? Quick, turn it on and shove it back in!".

[edit] Death

On September 29, 1996, the Super Nintendo was murdered by an assassin. No one knows who the assassin was, or even whether it was an assassin at all. Let us tell you now it absolutely was not an assassin. But who ever the assassin wasn't, the Super Nintendo was dead and the Nintendo 64 was about to conquer half the known world. Her deceased highness currently lies interred in a spectacular sepulchre in her home city of Tokyo, Japan, guarded by Ninjas and protected by ancient Mario curses against the marauding 64 hordes.

[edit] Notable Games

• Super Mario World
• Donkey Kong Country
• Yoshi's Island

And.... Um...

• Kirby Super Star
• Chrono Trigger

Uh...

• Super Mario Kart
• The Legend of Zelda: Blink-182 is Passé
• Final Fantasy VI

I'll be frank, they were largely shit. Some mediocre, but largely shit.

[edit] Legacy

A man enjoying the magic of Super Nintendo. He looks kind of like you.

The Super Nintendo, despite its nefarious past, is a really terrific video game system if you just get to know it. Although at first gawky and shrill, just spend a little time with her she'll get to know the contours of your body and the pleasures of your flesh. Then she'll screw you brain-dead. Such were was her whory goodness that Space-Time magazine ranked the Super Nintendo the fifth best thing to have turned up in the world subsequent to slice bread (which was quite the shit) right behind pie, Paris, hats, and boobs. If you haven't played Super Nintendo, you really don't know what you're missing, coz you haven't played it.

[edit] Trivia

Trivia sections are what make the SNES the best gaming system ever!

The article could be improved by reading it upside-down, or something, I dunno. Did you know it's impossible to lick your own elbow? Unless you're some kind of freak.

• The Super Nintendo has no place in our new and stronger world
• In 42 days time, the Super Nintendo might finally be charged with something.
• Nostrodamus prophesied the advent of The Super Nintendo many millenia before its first press release.
• Jack Thompson has sued the Super Nintendo 9 times in the last 72 hours.
• "Super Nintendo" is short for "Screw you, Jesus", which incidentally forms an excellent mnemnomic for recalling the female erogenous zones.
• Mr. T has a solid gold Super Nintendo. It pities the fool who needs a mnemnomic to recall the female erogenous zones.

[edit] See also

• Nintendo
• Genesis