Supergirl
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“I smacked her on the ass and broke my hand, then she got my nuts between her buttcheeks and crushed them and then sat on my chest and farted - I have scorch marks, partial deafness, crush injuries, shell shock and my psychiatrist says I will be emotionally scarred with fetishes for life.â€
~ Thug on Supergirl
Supergirl was born on the planet Krypton under the assumed name Meera Zor'el. After reaching Earth, Meera Zor'el hired a retired porn actress to take on the pseudonym of Meera Zor'el. Through advanced technology stolen from the Guardians, Meera uses internet chat rooms to turn herself into Supergirl. She also changes her hair color frequently to keep her identify secret.
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[edit] Powers and Abilities
- Main article: Supergirl's New Costume
Supergirl has the ability to project massive amounts of sexual frustration on grown men and girls between the age of 16 and 23. This power was first demonstrated in Action Comics #60 when she single handedly caused riots in comic shops across the United States and Australia.
Her boobs exert a mesmeric effect on people and she can anesthetize people with her butt, her Super Sari causes everyone to not associate her appearances as Supergirl with Meera Syal.
In addition, the ability to generate atomic energy out of her butt through eating criminals, such as Lex Luthor, has enabled her to keep planets where the nearby star has died warm until her hubby can haul a star by from elsewhere. After eating crimminals and converting them to methane, she craps out reformed people - Jasper Carrott for example used to be Lex Luthor! It is believed she converts all were bodily waste into various gases, resulting in obscene levels of methane production.
[edit] Supergirl Today
In between crimefighting Supergirl spends most of her time living under the alias of Meera Syal with her husband who is really Superman - a comedy duo explains the sudden absences and strange pre-occupation with rushing into revolving doors or Telephone Boxes and sudden disappearances, these are all explained as being tricks done with the assistance of David Copperfield (real name Spiderman).
She earns a living as a dominatrix.
[edit] Facts about Supergirl
- In the landmark Supreme Court case Supergirl v. Nixon, it was established that Super flatulence during a presidential address could be considered as acceptable comment in circumstances in which the President later turned out to be a total hypocrite. The identity of one of of the informants on Watergate was discovered during this incident; Deep Throat was not discovered, but the identity of Deep Nose was later discovered after he died from inhalation of noxious gases.
- There are a variety of UN Resolutions out against her - one instructing her to watch where she is sitting after she accidentally crushed one man to death, another banning her from eating baked beans anywhere on planet Earth after she accidentally vaporised a Pacific Island with a Super Fart (originally thought to be due to an illegal French Atomic Weapons test).
- Some say Heather Brooke is the new supergirl, as she has the power of ultimate absorption.
[edit] See also
Categories: Not safe for work | Fetishes | DC Comics | Comics | Superheroes | Lastnameless | Farts
