Supernatural
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“video games are EVIL they promote violence! not like Supernatural, no one accuses it while im slicing and dicing evil!”
~ Jack Thompson on Supernatural
Supernatural is a TV show produced by Warner Bros, which first aired in 2005 on the WB and is now shown on the new CW. Created by Eric Kripke and a penguin, it is about two brothers who are clearly breaking all ten commandments every episode. However, thanks to plot holes they never get caught. They also fight supernatural beings and try to find their father, who has a tendency to disappear. Rumors say he has been spotted at Graceland or in a jar of peanut butter in New Mexico.
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[edit] Characters
Sam 'Devil's Cabana Boy' Winchester
Sam is also generally agreed to be a very hot guy. He is taller than Dean. Sam is developing psychic powers including foresight and telekinesis, thus turning him into a Mary Sue. He spends most of his time moping around about the deaths he has caused. When not doing that, he finds a way to connect deaths he has not cuased back to him, thus giving him something to mope about. His biggest reason for depression concerning deaths he may have caused/related to him is that brother Dean snagged the guilt trip for the big one; Daddy John's kicking of the bucket.
Dean 'I'm funny because I've got a loaded gun' Winchester
Dean is generally agreed to be a very hot guy. He is in love with a '67 Chevy Impala named the Metallicar (though not so much like of his brother Sammy, something that he will never admit). Thousands of girls find him irresistibly attractive because he is outgoing, often quotes pop culture, never takes things seriously, and plays pranks on people while they are sleeping. In real life, we refer to these kinds of people as "assholes". Dean is often impersonated by friendly, murdering creatures of the night in a worryingly accurate manner. Dean really, really likes guns and shooting things and is therefore a prime example of the kind of person to avoid whilst they are having an acid trip and are armed. Whores himself out. He will destroy you if you hurt his Sammy, unless of course you are Bella, in which case he will tell Sammy to stop whining.Dean Winchester is a weapon of mass destruction and seduction.
John Winchester
Sam and Dean's borderline abusive father. You just know that when he was courting their mother, she was always complaining that he never called. Is never really there, probably Supernatural's answer to Sarah Connor. Taught his son to shoot at the age of six and therefore provides an acceptable excuse for Dean's behaviour with Junior in 'The Kids Are Alright'. John Winchester is in fact a D.I.L.F.
Mary Winchester
Sam and Dean's mother. Died tragically... or did she? Could be Elvis, living out her life in disguise. Likes ceilings and setting fire to things.
Jessica Lee Moore
Sam's dead girlfriend. Widely rumored to be Mary, as they look exactly alike. This says worlds about Sam and his Oedipus complex. Also likes setting fire to ceilings.
Meg Masters
The main villain of the first season. In Dean's words, "buckets of crazy." Frequently kills or tries to kill: people who are stupid enough to pick up hitchhikers, Sam, Dean, John, kitties, puppies, ponies, and the Trix Rabbit.
The Demon
Celine Dion's twin brother. Frequently lights women on fire after splitting them like dinner. We're not sure if he's hungry or just... you know... demonic. His heart was two sizes two small... wait, that's the Grinch. Although we notice they both have yellow eyes... coincidence? I think not...
Gordon
Gordon the crazy hunter / had a very curvy knife / and if you ever saw it /you would run for your life /all of the other hunters /thought that he was really whack /So then they left poor Gordon /To get eaten by a yak! Sadly, Gordon did not get eaten by a yak, yaks are vegetarians and have made it clear they'd like to avoid any associated stigma. Basically Supernatural's answer to Malcolm X.
Agent Henricksen
FBI agent who's made it clear on more than one occasion that he just wants to do Dean. Plays him hot and cold by calling him and hanging up on him during bank heists. Stalks Dean. Big time. When he's not doing that, or even while he's doing that, he advocates people to have sex. Weirdo. He also has a monkey slave dude who repeats everything he says...
[edit] Episodes S1
Pilot
Sam and Dean's mother dies under mysterious circumstances. Twenty one years later, Dean breaks into Sam's apartment, tells him he's looking for beer, and drags him off to nearly get killed by Casper. Later, Sam's girlfriend coincidentially dies in the same way his mother did - bludgeoned to death by a plunger-wielding maniac.
Wendigo
Sam and Dean notice that the bears in Colorado are apparently extraordinarily hungry for human flesh. Thus, they set off and nearly get eaten by a Wendigo, at which point millions of viewers ask the important question: what in the flying fuck is a Wendigo?
Dead in the Water
Sam gets to grope hot naked women while Dean bonds with small children. Awwww. There was something in here about a dead kid that looked like he'd wandered out of The Grudge and his bicycle, but it's not terribly important in the grand scheme of things.
Phantom Traveler
Dean's secret weakness: not Kryptonite, polka music (though that might work) or women, but rather airplanes. There was something about demons in here too but the viewers were too busy laughing about Dean. The demon confesses that he knows the plunger-wielding maniac, for they belong to the same country club.
Bloody Mary
No longer just an urban legend! Now comes with a mirror and longer than ever nails! Collect all three models! This particular incarnation of Bloody Mary only claws out your eyes if you're guilty about someone's death. This apparently encapsulates half the town's (Stepford, anyone?) population, including Sam and Dean. Sam is guilty about his girlfriend's death, as he believed he should have heard the sounds of Jess's brain being sucked out with a plunger. No one knows what Dean is guilty about, but he may have killed some girl because the sex was just that good.
Skin
Skin is about a shapeshifter that thinks Dean is hot and thus spends a lot of time pretending to be him. If you have sex with the guy you're borrowing a body from, is it masturbation? This question and more leads to confusion for Sam, the viewers, the Pope, and George W. Bush, who can't decide if it should be illegal. Anyway, at the end of the episode, fake Dean is killed by real Dean, unless it's the other way around. How would anyone know?
Hook man
The second of the episodes based off of urban legends. People keep dying and Sam and Dean trace it back to a crazy dead plunger-wielding priest. At this point Dean solves the problem the only way he knows how: he lights everything in sight on fire. This will be a continuing quest for him throughout the series. However, it will never lead to the characters getting caught.
Bugs
The first rule of the episode Bugs is that you do not talk about the episode Bugs. The second rule of the episode Bugs is that it doesn't exist. Non-existance is sponsored by The World's Shortest Night and Dean slapping Sam on the ass and posing as his boyfriend.
Home
Sam and Dean return home. Golly gee, I never would have guessed that from the title. They meet a hilarious woman named Missouri who threatens to whack Dean with a spoon. Dean doesn't look too opposed to this idea. Mary makes an appearance and the audience pretends to be surprised. She apologizes to Sam for something, possibly ruining his favorite stuffed animal with a chunk of her burning flesh. John hides from his pimp in Missouri's house.
Asylum
Sam finally gets counseling, and promptly attempts to shoot Dean, thus exposing the problems with the modern mental health field. Dean lights the body of an insane psychiatrist on fire, thus continuing his pyromaniac habit. Both characters violate the "never split up" rule of horror movies and it comes back to bite them in the ass.
Scarecrow
Joining the "Christians are fucking psychos" block is this "Pagans are also fucking psycho, let's all be atheists" episode. Dean and Sam have a huge fight and Dean gets nearly sacrificed to pagan gods in order to make the fields grow or something like that.
Faith
So Faith is about this guy who pretends to be healing people by faith, and he sort of is, except he's also killing people in return. And except for the part where it's actually his wife doing it. But in any event, the moral of the story is that only God, the show's creators, and possibly The Pillsbury Dough Boy have the right to decide who lives and dies. And maybe it's okay if fanfiction writers do it too. Unless of course that person isn't a human, in which case Sam and Dean are free to kill as they see fit.
Route 666
Sam pretty much sums up this episode when he says "I miss conversations that don't begin with 'the killer truck.'" The truck is, somewhat unsurprisingly, molded with the soul of a dead guy who is trying to hunt down all of the people involved in his murder and the ensuing coverup. Dean stays true to form and lights the body on fire and then tries to do the same with the truck. However, since we live in a universe where that doesn't work too well, he has to risk his life to stop this truck. So, he cruises by the church full of vengeful spirits the truck's driver murdered, and by using himself as bait, lured the truck towards the church, where the spirits gratefully destroy the evil spirit of the truck, thus showing the viewers that racism is wrong. Its best not to think while watching this episode.
Nightmare
Sam and Dean meet another kid whose mother was killed by the plunger-wielding maniac and who coincidentally also has psychic powers. Sam admits that maybe, just maybe, his father is not Satan. He also starts moving things with his miiiiind. Dont worry about this important piece of information. It will never come up again.
The Benders
Sam is kidnapped by the cast of "The Devil's Rejects". They are some crazy rednecks who've married their sisters one too many times. Which is doubly creepy, since their sister is only thirteen. They are going to hunt Sam and then have him for dinner and put his teeth in a jar.
Shadows
Evil Meg is back, and Sam and Dean violate several commandments of the Evil Overlord List. Dad is back, too, but only briefly, because let's face it - who wants to see a show about two kids and their father traveling? The trio nearly gets killed by some freaky shadow things (never woulda seen that coming, right?) but Sam gets his most brilliant idea yet - make it really bright in the room.
Hell House
This time, the Winchesters are facing a tough farmer who cans all his vegies in a jar! And apparently he chases chicks and hung them up. Ahah naughty! They also met two "PROFESSIONAL" dudes trying to make a scientific investigation bout the house - it's all about talent!
Something Wicked
Remember the Dementors from Harry Potter? Not too much more than this.
Provenance
THE LITTLE GIRL DID IT!! THE LITTLE GIRL DID IT!!
Dead Mans Blood
Sam and Dean finally get their father to show up after they tell him that their hotel offers free porn. Then they all go rob and kill a bunch of vampires. Apparently there is some gun or something that for some completly unexplained reason can kill the plunger-wielding maniac.
Salvation
Sorry, no fundie Christians in this episode. How do you feel about firemen? Sam and Dean have to go save a baby from the plunger wielding maniac.
Devil's Trap
Rocks fall and everyone dies. Or maybe that was a helicoptor. On ER.
[edit] Episodes S2
In My Time of Dying
Everyone is magically resurrected as Las Vegas showgirls thanks to the magic of Hollywood and a ouija board. Note that John was not pretty enough and failed as a showgirl, thus living the rest of his life out in hell. It's not as bad as it sounds.
Everyone Loves a Clown
What we learn from this episode: not everyone loves clowns. Those that do are small children who are in imminent danger of being snatched by child molesters. Listen up, people! Clowns are evil! Clowns are waiting to eat all of you and your children and your little dog too. While your are sleeping. With a spork. If you love clowns, for the love of god, stop now! Meanwhile, we discover Sam does not share the love of friendly Clowns and repeatedly tries to shoot them whilst crying about Ronald McDonald.
Bloodlust
Apparently Tara from Buffy was mysteriously resurrected and brought back as a vampire. Technically, brought back as one of the biggest vampire wimps ever. Sam and Dean meet up with a guy named Gordon, who tries to get Dean drunk and take advantage of him. Sam turns into a jealous bitch and gets captured by a bunch vampires on a diet to get Dean's attention back. It works.
Children Shouldn't Play With Dead Things
Further proving that necrophilia is just plain wrong, Sam and Dean face off against dead Angela, who was brought back to life by her BFF Neil, pretty much so he could screw her (don't worry, he's dead now). Luckily for Sam, he managed to finish watching his porn before Angela tackled him and broke his wrist.
Simon Said
Sam has sexy visions about people being killed. This causes him to angst, which causes Dean to touch him ... out of concern. The boys meet Andy, who is a pimp with mind control, and Andy's twin brother Weber, who might just be a touch in love with his bro. In the end, Weber gets shot, and out of the four "special children" we've encountered so far, that's two dead and evil, and two questionables.
No Exit
All that matters about this episode is that Jo didn't die, Dean makes less-than vague refrences to Masterbation in front of Jo, and Sam did a fabulous impression of a potted house plant. Please contact your appropriate state senator with complaints.
The Usual Suspects
Linda Blair guest-stars as a cop on a mission. That mission is apparently to screw her partner in as many places as possible, which is probably how the gigantic Sam manages to escape from the station. Meanwhile, Dean states, for the record, that he is an Aquarius, enjoys long walks on the beach, and frisky women. Dean also demonstrates his bondage kink, smiling as he's handcuffed to tables and slammed up against walls by larger men. Fangirls explode. Sammy demonstrates his big-brother hero worship by repeating almost everything Dean says. Fangirls explode.
Crossroad Blues
Sam gets stuck protecting a man who sold his soul to the devil while Dean gets to make out with a hot demon chick. Some things in life just aren't fair. Also, Dean and Sam find out that apparently John managed to win himself a five-star vacation in hell for sacrificing himself to the demon, which just puts everyone in a fantastic mood.
Croatoan
You know that feeling you get when you're sick, like you want to kill everything? Well, apparently this town's caught a really really bad disease because they all proceed to go completely batshit. Celine Dion's music can be heard playing eerily in the background as the demonic plague spreads through the town and then causes the whole town to disappear. What do you mean, you don't disappear when you get sick? Meg's little brother is training to take her place in the wonderful family tradition of killing people while they're driving. This episode seems to be setting up something important, but dont worry, it will never come up again.
Hunted
Gordon the crazy hunter had a very curvy knife.... Gordon kidnaps Dean and tries to kill Sam because Gordon forgot to take his Prozac that morning.
Playthings
Dean and Sam fight The Shining and Sam nearly hooks up with some total MILF action.
Nightshifter
Beware the Mandroids! Also, Dean attempts to give a crash course on how to rob a bank and walk away with nothing but a few murder charges.
Houses of the Holy
Sam and Dean try to stop a psycho dead priest whose misguided views lead him to believe that rapists and murderers are evil and should be stopped. I'm as confused as you are.
Born Under A Bad Sign
Meg is back but she's inside Sam instead which makes Dean jealous. Jo is back but only to be turned on by evil sam, which in turn was only meg so that poses the question...is meg a hot lesbian demon?
Tall Tales
Hilarity insues as a frat boy is raped by an alien, a creepy ghost girl scares an adulterer, and a scientist is brutally murdered by an alligator. We also learn about Dean's taste for asian porn and trashy fat women.
Roadkill
M. Night Shamylon is definatly gonna sue someone over this one..
Heart
Sam screws a bitch - literally. The love is short lived as Sam tells her that he has herpes and she shoots herself.
Hollywood Babylon
Our fairly freshly laid heroes walk into the sunset. The rest of this episode can be watched in super-fast rewind and be just as funny. Sam and Dean can no longer see the ghosts they are hunting and nobody bothers to tell us why. That camera phone just got lots of hits on Amazon, though.
Folsom Prison Blues
Dean drops the soap and a nice man help him pick it up.
What Is and What Should Never Be
Dean has finally found a genie who is into bondage kink. Dean finally breaks it off when he realizes that it isn't really Barbara Eden, or even Barbara Eden in a Sam suit, but some old balding guy with a fetish for Maori tribal tattoos.
All Hell Breaks Loose, Part One
Dean and Bobby discover the Children of the Corn. If they were children. With corn. Well okay, not corn, just mind blowing powers that cause the polar icecaps to melt and render useless all the stainless steel spoons in every 4-star restaurant within a two hundred mile radius. BEFORE THEY DIE. Sam finds out what sharp, pointy things are used for.
All Hell Breaks Loose, Part Two
Dean follows Papa Winchester's footsteps in continuing the wonderful tradition of whoring his soul and himself out by going back to making out with that plastic surgery worshipping crossroads demon. Also, hell kicks Papa Winchester out because he hasn't been paying his rent.
[edit] Episodes S3
The Magnificent Seven
A week after Dean prostitutes his soul, the Winchesters go looking for more trouble in the form of seven demons who want to kill innocent people. What else is new? Also, some chick who seems to think she's from the Matrix saved Sam's wimpy ass from being killed, and Dean has a threesome.
The Kids Are Alright
Dean decides to stalk a woman he slept with 9 years ago, and demands to be let into her house. Awkwardness all around. Dean then follows this up by cloning himself and spends the rest of the episode teaching Mini-Me to kick other little boys in the balls.
Bad Day at Black Rock
Sam lost his shoe. And the boys find where Dad used to store his porn weapons cool stuff.
Sin City
The Colt comes back (don't worry about how) and is forced to murder, car chases ensue. Meanwhile, Dean meets up with the Ocean's 11 extra and looks at lots of racks. Sam can't say 'sex' to a priest.
Bedtime Stories
A wolf person or something kills a bunch of fat guys. Also, we find out that Sam couldn't be more gay.
Red Sky At Morning
Two effeminate and bumbling men, a big ship, strong implications of angry sex, and a woman that raises the bar for being annoying. Now why does that remind me of Pirates of the Carribean?
Fresh Blood
Angst, angst, angst. And then Gordon goes Grrr and his head goes pop. And Dean's gonna kill Bela. We all are eagerly awaiting that. And Sam now has the task of fixing Dean's car. Oh dear. A bunch of vamps think it's funny to turn Gordon. But not the awsome, badass vamps from season one, but the pussy emo vampires who like to brood in the darkness and whine about thier feelings (while mercilously killing innocents). Sam seems to like his style and asks for pointers on broodin
A Very Supernatural Christmas
Pagan gods play evil Santa Claus, give Sam a terrible manicure, then decide they want to be Dean's dentist, and let us make a trip to the Department of Wibbly Backstory. Dean likens fudge to fruitcake. No Bela OR Ruby!!! It really is Christmas!
Malleus Maleficarum
We discover we can liken demons to flies, in the way that all flies used to be maggots, and demons did too!! Well, humans, but it ain't so far from the same thing, really.
Dream a Little Dream of Me
Dreams can reveal much about the soul, including dark embarrassing secrets. That's why it is fitting that we learn that Dean has secret desires to marry a woman that he only has spent 2 days with, and Sam has sex dreams about the woman that shot him, hinting at a sado-mashacism kink.
Mystery Spot
Remember that old phrase that nobody likes mondays? Well Sam really hates Tuesdays. And he cries his way through sex, a la Meredith Grey.
Jus In Bello
A bunch of demons attack a police station, but Sam plays his "American Idol" audition tape over the loudspeaker, which causes them so much pain that they shrivel up and die.
Ghostfacers
"It's my party and I'll die if I want to! Die if I want to! Diiiieee if I want to!" Ghosts have crappy parties.
Long-Distance Call
Sam is busy getting kidnapped by unhygenic creatures from hell, while Dean plays me' takes on a whole new meaninghappy-clappy with his dead father over the telephone. 'Come to me' takes on a whole new meaning . SHA33 tends to call a shitload of people.
Time Is On My Side It's slice 'n' dice time! Some crazy doctor from 200 years ago likes to slice people up for their organs. No one really cares however, as everyone is just excited about Bella being ripped apart by dogs and forced to spend an eternity in Hell. We all ask the question, why couldnt this have happened months ago?
No rest for the Wicked So Bobby finds some amazing instrument that can find Lilith, who is apparently biding her time doing random acts of unmotivated evil. where the hell was this fancy thing when they were looking for the YED??? Dean gets ripped apart by some Hell hounds while Sam hides in a corner and yells like a little girl. Hell is apparently made up of crappy CGI chains, meat-hooks, and a whole lot of empty space. So where all the fire and flames at???
[edit] Spin Offs
