Systemic British Vowel Syndrome

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Systemic British Vowel Syndrome, or SBVS, is a common affliction which causes an impulsive need to add additional vowels into words or, less commonly, to relocate them to the end of the word. The disease is most notably a associated with speakers of Commonwealth English, although there is no evidence of causation between the two. For example, anecdotal evidence suggests that even though 100% of Commonwealth English speakers are afflicted with SVBS, there is no guarantee that they are actually causal or even related.

[edit] Examples of SBVS

Examples of classic SBVS, with additional vowels added to common words:

color vs colour

humor vs humour

labor vs labour

valor vs valour

analog vs analogue

esophagus vs oesophagus

aluminum vs aluminium

Examples of the less common form of SBVS, with inexplicable relocation of vowels to the end of the word:

center vs. centre

theater vs. theatre

[edit] Infection and Treatment

SBVS is generally considered a nuisance rather than an actual disability, and most people have become accustomed to dealing with the erratic spellings. As such, treatment is by no means necessary and most sufferers manage to live comfortably without any corrective measures.

SBVS is mildly contagious, with greatest risk of contracting the illness during early childhood. Because of this, infection is typically from parent to child although in rare cases it can be transmitted between peers through casual written correspondence. Because the chance of infection is relatively low, requiring multiple and prolonged exposures, instances tend to be highly localized at the community level.

Preventative treatment takes the form of a proper education and limiting exposure to those already afflicted. Treatment for an existing condition usually involves the frequent application of a spell checker.