TISM
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“What in the Hell is TISM ?”
~ That Guy on TISM
“Love is where the heart is”
~ DC on TISM
TISM (a recursive acronym of This Is Sado-Masochism, This Is Serious Mum, or This Is Shit Music) are an Austrian Neo-Nazi punk rock band. TISM conceals their true identity, posing as an anonymous seven piece band which is in turn posing as a bunch of posers from Springfield, a western-suburb of Melbourne, Australia. Really though, they're The Wiggles dressed as gimps and everyone knows it.
TISM have never managed to gain commercial radio airplay and maintain that this is just how they want it. In fact, their artsy pretensions ensure that most Australians have no idea what the fuck they are on about.
The true identities of the members of TISM are supposed to be secret but most people are aware that they are simple school teachers, VFL players, writers and a couple of members' positions are cycled amongst prominent Liberal Party members. The band maintains that the reason they wear balaclavas is because they are actually sadists. Some fans think TISM are in fact Machine Gun Fellatio, but this makes far too much sense.
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[edit] Members
- Ron Hilter-Barassi: Vocals (pretends to be angry, but really suffering since being picked on by a girl he liked at school, moonlights as a green grocer)
- Humphrey B Flaubert: Vocals (The not-so-angry-but-much-more-foulmouthed one; moonlights as a TV mascot)
- Les Miserables: Dancing and occasional boy-buggering (in other words there for his looks, which is completely pointless considering they wear masks, usually played by Peter Reith)
- Token Blackman: Guitarist, really the bastard son of Billy Ray Cyrus and half a chicken-salad sandwich.
- Eugene de la Hot-Croix Bun: Keyboards, samples, vocals and responsible for six of the seven signs of ageing
- Jon St Peenis: dancing, vocals and general bad behaviour
- Jock Cheese: bass, vocals (once attempted to record a solo album named "Monsieur Camembert Platter". This never saw light of day. We are thankful.)
[edit] Former Members
- Leek Vlan Vlallen: Guitarist, rumored to be John Howard, Prime Minister of Australia
[edit] Some of TISM's songs
- I'll Outlive River Phoenix
- Brown Shower
- Golden Brown Shower
- Who Let Her Oh In?
- Sydneysiders are all Wankers but Springfield is full of Yobs
- I Might Be A Cunt But I'm Not A Fucking Cunt
- Martin Scorsese Is Really Quite A Jovial Fellow
- I'm Interested In Apathy
- Saturday Night Hemlock
- Greg! Mind The Stop Sign!!
- Everyone Else Has Had More Sex Than Ron
- I'll 'Ave Ya, Ron
- All Bogons Are Dickheads
- TISM Is Shit Mum Anthem
- The song about a famous Irish writer who is in fact shit.
- Defecate on my face
[edit] Discography
The facts are here boys, I tried before but I got cockblocked.
- Form and Meaning reach Ultimate Communion (1986)
- Great Truckin' Songs of the Renaissance (1988)
- Hot Dogma (1990)
- Gentlemen, Start Your Egos (1991)
- Beasts of Suburban (1992)
- Australia The Lucky Cunt (1993) - Reissued as Censored Due To Legal Advice due to legal action from wanker Gwyneth Paltrow over TISM's outstanding crack bill.)
- Machiavelli and the Four Seasons (1995) - a.k.a London, New York, Berlin, Springvale†
- Machines Against the Rage (1996)
- www.tism.wanker.com (1998)
- De Rigueurmortis (2001)
- tism.bestoff. (2002) - Best of compilation
- The White Albun (2004)
- TISM take over the world and force yanks to play cricket (3004)
† This album had an exterior and CD art claiming to be by a Bulgarian's swollen testicle, with every song title a variation on the words "I", "love", "you", and "on occaision" and making no reference at all to Two Cows themselves; the lyric booklet inside indicated that the album was in fact called "Gravy, London Broil, Pasta, Sprig Of Parsley".
[edit] External links
