Table Tennis

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Table Tennis is a very dangerous game emerging in the 20th century played using bouncing tables that have been wrapped in special bouncy material, because of the odd shapes bounces are very unpredictable and many people have been crushed by flying tables - normal practice is to use your back to rebound the table back again.

It uses normal tennis scoring, points, games, sets and all. By tradition the winner jumps the net and leaps on top of the table so if the loser is underneath it at the time that is just too bad. Mmmmmm yes, Table Tennis

[edit] Varieties of the game

A table tennis expert either doing a cry of victory or he just got hit in the groin by the ball.
A table tennis expert either doing a cry of victory or he just got hit in the groin by the ball.

A variety called Royal Table Tennis also allows for bouncing tables off back walls and there is also another variant called Squash based on the tradition of jumping the net, in Squash the aim is to land the table on top of the opponent and then jump on top of it, this wins a whole game rather than just a point and on many occasions the opponent is too badly injured to continue - the Williams sisters are even more successful at this game than at Tennis itself.

There are other varieties that have emerged more recently including Chair Tennis, similar but using a chair instead which anyway is more comfortable to sit on and also Ball Boy\Ball Girl Tennis although Child Protection Societies are looking to ban this and many Ball Boy Tennis Associations are moving to ban the winner from jumping on top and Squash Ball Boy Tennis is now banned in most countries of the world.

However the most idiotic of all new varieties has to bePhotocopier Tennis usually performed in mixed doubles - the Photocopier is served usually landing on top of the person receiving the serve, then the server helps his female partner jump on top and photocopy her bottom - The Olympic Committee has refused to recognise this as a sport and although popular in offices up and even compulsory as company policy in some naturally Health Professionals are campaigning to ban this "Sport". Here a victorius pair can be seen celebrating

[edit] Extensions of Table Tennis into other sports

Wrestling promoters soon saw the advantage and now elements of Table Tennis and it's various spinoffs can now frequently be seen being incorporated into WCW and WWF.

nasa now use table tennis to simulate the effects of a rocket re entering our atmosphere. The results of shuttle launches prove this is VERY effective

Table Wrestling Tennis Wrestling Table Polo Water Table Wanking

[edit] See Also

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