Talk:Brazil

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Contents 1 hey 2 I searched for Fox Network HQ and... 3 Food 4 Brazilian States 5 Recado de um brasileiro Babaca 6 unlock the article plz!!!!! 6.1 DU ÃNLOK DE ARTEKEL YOU MADA FACA 7 Language 8 WTF MAN 9 Merge 9.1 Anger 10 too brazillian 11 coat or arms? 12 History 13 Declaration of independency. 14 Rewrite 15 I've added some other few things 16 From Pee Review 17 Thing to add to this article 18 So far, so good 19 Spanish dialect?

[edit] hey

I'm offended, so, yeah, a fucking good article! And, oh please, this is Uncyclopedia. If you are offended, you must like it. That's for fun, and we have an article that could offend an American, so just don't be ridiculous, brasileiro babaca.

There's only one thing I know: One day we will be all purple.

You folks need to correct a grave mistake in that article: The state of Acre is the former crusader kingdom of Acre, given to Brazil as consolation prize for having the Jules Rimet world cup stolen by Chuck Norris.

Let's mantain the link to brazilian description in pt-br /

--200.165.186.35 16:38, 19 Dec 2005 (UTC)

We speak portuguese in Brazil? That's a big LIE! Everyone knows we speak spanish.

of course we speak spanish, due to our german-nordic decendence. don' forget globo used dead bodies from sbt workers to manufacture soylent green, and that inspired the film, since then our national motto is "soylent green is people!"

Can someone add that ralf jones from KOF is also brazilian? -someguy from Brazil

Acre?? I am a Brazilian had and never heard about such a state. Flavianoep 01:48, 2 February 2008 (UTC)

[edit] I searched for Fox Network HQ and...

And I discovered that Fox Network HQ and fox_girino are from some rts-game's forum. Please refrain from doing these "inside" jokes that no one understands but you guys from the fox forum, it's really dumb. Thanks.

[edit] Food

There is no "Food" subject. This is important. I suggest that you put "Picanha" in. I've already made the article...

And I agree, this Brazil Article must not be violated by stupid people.

[edit] Brazilian States

Can anyone add a link in the bottom of the page for the state of Santa Catarina? I'm working on a few other states as well. Kick ass page, by the way!

[edit] Recado de um brasileiro Babaca

Recado de um brasileiro babaca
Se vocês acham que o Brasil é só isso, e se voc~es não estaão so brincando, acho que voc~es deviam saber o que estão falando.
obs:O carnaval é em fevereiro.
obs2:para quem não sabe, o Brasil não é uma ilha, um brasileiro inventou o avião e o relogio de pulso.

Well, in the first place, english please.

Uncyclopedia is a FUN encyclopedia with FUNNY articles and FUNNY editors writing them. So, you must NOT take it real serious. The major part of the editors in this article ARE brazilians which know their country more than anyone could do (even you, "Brasileiro Ufanista" that seems like that don't see the state of the social and politician Brazil).

• Of course we know that the "Carnaval" is in February. But this article is supposed to be FUN, not REALISTIC.
• EVERYBODY knows that Brazil is not an island. But, I repeat, this article is supposed to be FUN, not REALISTIC. By the way, the watch was NOT invented by Santos Dumont, as you think.

Correction: A brazilian really invented a watch, Do you now who is my mother?

BrunoAssis 15:55, 29 July 2007 (UTC)

[edit] unlock the article plz!!!!!

darn you all unlock this page

[edit] DU ÃNLOK DE ARTEKEL YOU MADA FACA

PLEAZS....

Special:Userlogin. Wait four days, and tadaa! --KATIE!! 17:24, 10 September 2006 (UTC)

Socorro! Isn't help... It's a woman that theaches to children somewhere in Contagem. (little district of the capital of Minas Gerais)

[edit] Language

I agree, it must be said that the language we speak is Spanish. Nothing angers a Brazilian more than people who think Spanish is the official language (which is a very, very commom mistake by foreigners). 201.26.122.99 18:03, 4 October 2006 (UTC)

[edit] WTF MAN

UNLOCK THE DAMN ARTICLE! WHY DO YOU EVEN PROTECT IT!

[edit] Merge

Unless you find a good reason to difference Brazil from Brasil, one of them shall turn into a redirect. -- herr doktor needsAV2  [scream!] 15:26, 5 March 2007 (UTC)

Yes, I agree. Hopefully, the "Brasil" article will be the redirect considering that it is the improper spelling.-- Meteshjj _{My bologna has a first name,} ^{it's O-P-R-A-H! Whoo!!!} 00:27, 15 March 2007 (UTC)

Done. -- herr doktor needsAbrain  [scream!] 02:28, 15 March 2007 (UTC)

Please Un-Merge, it was very funny to have two Brazils! --200.140.238.84 14:37, 15 March 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Anger

Brazilians don't feel exactly angered when people say they speak Spanish, they just feel annoyed or bothered. What really angers Brazilians is to call them Hispanics.

[edit] too brazillian

This article is too brazilian. I mean, brazilian nerd jokes. And brazilian nerd jokes are bad. *shiver*

• That's right. As seen in orkut, Brazilian have a big problem when communicating with other people - who, as good hillbillies they are, they treat as "aliens". Almost all articles about Brazil in Uncyc seem to have been written to be readable only by Brazilians. It's an infinite streak of in-jokes and random humor. I would fix this if I only had a sincere interest on Brazil but the fact is that I really don't care. I know the exact size of the irrelevance of this piece of land that, by accident and bitter irony of destiny, I have the "obligation" to call "my country". And, oh, countryfellows, don't ask me to wash dishes outside. As far as I know, almost all college-degree Brazilian people who emigrate to clean toilets are pretty nationalist, singing aloud annoying sambas at 3am in the streets of Berlin. -- herr doktor needsAshuttle  [scream!] 19:43, 10 April 2007 (UTC)

[edit] coat or arms?

Cmon, add some bikini's ass!!! boobs are USA coat of arm

• There is already one in the flag, if you can see it... hehehe. -- herr doktor needsAcorpse  [scream!] 01:43, 11 April 2007 (UTC)
• I always thought it was clear that the Coat of Arms was a pun on Brazil... --渚カヲル 21:32, 19 April 2007 (UTC)

[edit] History

Why couldn't Brazil get a coherent and funny parody of its History as Argentina, Romania, Israel, Egypt or Spain could? All I can see in that article out there is a mix of useless nonsense about dogs and cats, Latin-American 'clichés' and few scarce actual events taken out of their context.

Perhaps an Argentinian user would be capable to write a really funny topic on Brazilian History, who knows...

Go ahead. This article is a satire of nothing that could be superposed to any other country in the world whithout making a difference. Change Brazil to Lituania in the title and nothing changes. -- herr doktor needsAshuttle  [scream!] 14:30, 16 April 2007 (UTC)

I think the new start is quite Historic, hehehe. -- herr doktor needsAbolt  [scream!] 15:19, 23 April 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Declaration of independency.

I just wanna say that our independency was declared 4 days before 9/11, not 2... But who cares anyway, right?

Fixed. -- herr doktor needsAgear  [scream!] 15:08, 23 April 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Rewrite

I've rewriten the introduction. No random shit about cats and dogs, please! I'm not in the mood to rewrite the entire article, but I think this is a better start. -- herr doktor needsAbolt  [scream!] 15:08, 23 April 2007 (UTC)

Hang on, now I'm rewriting the whole shit. -- herr doktor needsAcell  [scream!] 16:45, 23 April 2007 (UTC)

Done. A few jokes preserved. -- herr doktor needsAshuttle  [scream!] 20:17, 23 April 2007 (UTC)

[edit] I've added some other few things

Help needed with gramatical errors. —The preceding unsigned comment was added by Patrasmentium (talk • contribs)

Actually, I was very happy with your initial edits. You got the spirit of my rewrite, making fun (somewhat a vicious fun) of the real Brazilian history and society instead of talking about cats and dogs. Unfortunately, after you started bloating the article with information understandable only by Brazilians or brazilianists. No one knows or want to know where in the hell Mato Grosso is. So I'll make a little liposuction, but I'm not removing the good things you added. By the way, hang on, I got a present for you. :) -- herr doktor needsAcharge  [scream!] 02:52, 25 April 2007 (UTC)

I didn't remove so much as I intially thought I would. But maybe the History part is so long that we have to create a sub-article with its contents. A few things regarding Brazilian subjects in Uncyc: this is not orkut. You are talking to the world here. So, two rules to follow:

1. Don't make any Portuguese-language jokes without a translation. Portuguese is not Spanish, and even Spanish have just a few things immediately understandable to the English-language reader. For instance, I guess there's no problem in maintaining the "viva" in the quotes section.
2. Don't talk about Brazilian locations, historical figures or celebrities unless you explain everything or they are worldwide recognizable. Gisele Bundchen is worldwide recognizable. Mato Grosso (state) is not.

Deal? -- herr doktor needsAcharge  [scream!] 05:32, 25 April 2007 (UTC)

[edit] From Pee Review

This article was a in-jokey piece of shit. So I've rewritten it almost entirely removing Portuguese language references and other stuff that only Brazilians could find funny. It's very cruel in its current form, but I am, unfortunately, morally authorized to do so. -- herr doktor needsAcharge  [scream!] 20:08, 23 April 2007 (UTC) Just for comparision, the previous version: [1]. -- herr doktor needsAsample  [scream!] 23:45, 23 April 2007 (UTC)

Humo(u)r:	4	More bitter than funny
Concept:	6	Some great opportunities for bizarre humour
Prose and Formatting:	5	Could be more idiomatic/contemporary/vernacular
Images:	7	Some really funny images. More please. Be more extavagant with the captions.
Miscellaneous:	5	Too many protestations of "truth"
Final Score:	27
Reviewer:	Pieface 09:48, 4 June 2007 (UTC)

Patrasmentium added several stuff (some of which bloated the article a little). By the way, it can be considered now a four-handed job. Or, if you take in consideration that I didn't remove all of the previous jokes, a centipede job. Weird, isn't it? -- herr doktor needsAV2  [scream!] 04:42, 25 April 2007 (UTC)

In my opinion this article suffers from two big mistakes. First mistake: In your attempt to make it understundable for everyone you just made it plain shallow. Plain shallow in two ways. One way is what you did with the war against paraguay. That could be said about any war between two countries, couse wars are always stupid and always involve stupid national egos issues. The Guerra da Triple Alianza (If I'm mistaken and you were talking about a war unknown to me, ignore what follows) was in some respects even silier than many other wars, and you could've made something with more satirical value if you were ready to demand from the reader just a little knowldege on the subject. Second way, you rely to much upon the stereotypes foreigners have about brazil, just a place for sex-turisim, pickpocketing, etc. It's like that chapter from the Simpsons where they fly to Brazil, just a lot less funny.

Second mistake. Well, HTBFANJS alredy explains of the disadvantages of outright sarcasm. You made your point, you don't like brazil, you think brazilians are dumb. Unfortunatly, you do so not while making fun of Brazil, you just insult it. The chapter Society and Culture seems to me like a good example of what not to do. Sorry to be harsh, but maybe you should consider to revert, better an article funny to a potential public of many millions than this.---Asteroid B612 (aka Rataube) - Ñ 15:44, 25 April 2007 (UTC)

Actually, the part about Brazilians being dumb was preserved from the previous version. Brazilians are quite weird regarding their national identity. They have that hula-hula non-western folkloric culture that is as exotic to themselves as it is to the rest of the world. Despite left-wing intellectuals trying to convince them everyday that being a real Brazilian is lacking teeth and playing wooden drums, not hearing hip hop or heavy metal. Yes, people hear a lot of Brazilian music, and that music is just an awful prodcut of big recording companies industry and their sell-outs playing diluted pop turned "Authentically Brazilian" just because it's the elevator brand of folk ballad. That's the MPB. Samba is the same, but with drums. Brazilians also loath Brazil as no one else but if a foreigner agrees with them, they suddenly become angry jingoists. That's part of the mental disease that being "an average Brazilian" is. Not that human beings outside are less diseased when they become nationalists - but 500 wrongs don't make a right and we're talking about Brazil specifically. And Brazil is undeniably a deeply corrupt and anti-intellectual country with a very insignificant History - and all Brazilians would agree (at least among themselves) about Brazilian History being a Carnival parade with no glorious moment. So, the History part is full of real facts with no random drifting. And the War of Triple Alliance was filled with ridicule, as slaves fighting against free man and being used as cannon fodder. That's the pretty Brazil.

What's tricky is that this article is in no way shallow: cannibalism is in fact considered metaphorically a main feature of Brazilian culture. Metaphorically because Brazilian intellectuals blablahs about our "antropophagic culture". Brazil supposedly "eats" every foreign cultural feats to turn into our deeply original "proper culture" with no ties whatsoever with the Western Culture. Maybe you have heard about this but if you lived here you would see this repeated and repeated ad nausean.

I agree with you in that we could remove the "Brazilians are dumb" part. But the rest is quite accurate, believe me. And, as I said before, that's not xenophobic slurs coming from an occasional visitor who left Brazil with the sensation of being fooled by touristic advertising. Much more than you, I know how this article is bitterly true. In other words, all of the Brazilian problems are fault of the Brazilians themselves, forget about left wing conspiracy theories and how the riches make the poor. We're no victims, and that's a lesson Brazil have to learn if it wants to become something. During all of our independent history, we were politely ignored by the so-called "Imperialists". The only act of imperialism that really made a difference was the UK's pressure for abolishing slavery, mind you... -- herr doktor needsAcell  [scream!] 16:52, 25 April 2007 (UTC)

Having read the comments above, and made (many) small edits to the piece, I have to say that it is not very funny....it's more like a diatribe than satire. And NeedABrain confirms that suspicion above. I don't have a problem with political satire but as rataube said, there is a difference between satire and straighforward insults. -- Pieface 11:21, 31 May 2007 (UTC)

I don't remember who said that, and I got the quote second-hand from Theodore Dalrymple, but it's far easier hating your own country than other people's ones. In other words, this article is full of truth and I'm really in a position to attest it. In spite of appearing to be the last hope for democracy in Chavezland, Brazil is hopelessly immersed in self-pity, self-exoticism and anti-Americanism. So somewhat the truth about Brazil appears to be offensive to the untrained eyes. In fact, get any Third-World country and explain why it's third world without "blame the West" victimist arguments and see if you can not appear offensive to our PC-contaminated mindset. There are lots of parts preserved from the previous versions thus, as the one about Brazilian dumbness (I kept it just for the comparison with the Koreans). But the History part is very close to the facts. -- herr doktor needsAshuttle  [scream!] 03:45, 1 June 2007 (UTC)

Unfortunately, truth is not always funny. Going on a bit about how dumb Brazilians are has the potential to be funny. Then comparing Brazilians to Koreans in this regard (unfavourably) is just nasty. There is just too much "truth" and "facts" in the piece. And how many of those would survive in Wikipedia? Don't get me wrong, I have nothing against expressing a (political) point of view in a piece of humour -- in fact, am partial to it. And I have absolutely no views on Brazil and Brazilians (other than fond memories of an energetic young woman on a stopover) But the operative word is humour. At least that is why I am here. I think the piece can be saved, and could even be good -- i.e. funny. But it needs work. -- Pieface 04:13, 1 June 2007 (UTC)

Man, I really don't get you all in this regard. I took a piece of in-jokey random material (an article about dogs and cats that could fit well for Estonia or Zimbabwe) and tried to remake it based on facts (facts known to non-Brazilians). After all, seems that you still have to be Brazilian to get it. People look at it and say "hey, that's just a collection of stereotypes" and I like: "yeah. That's all. Wanna exchange nationality with me?". But whatever, I wash my hands, I'm not even listing this rewrite among my articles anymore. Do as you please. -- herr doktor needsAsample  [scream!] 04:29, 1 June 2007 (UTC)

I already did do as I pleased by spending an hour trying to make the piece tolerably funny (to me). I am sorry that you feel my criticism is too close to the bone. Risky stuff, this Pee Review. -- Pieface 04:56, 1 June 2007 (UTC)

A review at last! Thank you and let's move this mess to the talk page. -- herr doktor needsAV2  [scream!] 17:14, 4 June 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Thing to add to this article

We are on commemoration of the bicentenary of the gratest marine hero of our contry, wich have made fame on the paragay war. The odd about this is the fact that paraguay have no coast, an the closest they have from an ocean is the paragay river on the silver basin. In other words, our greatest sea hero is a sweetwater mariner!

I can put this stuff in this article?

Do it! Do it right now! And please maintain the charming spelling and grammar! Pieface 03:55, 20 September 2007 (UTC)

[edit] So far, so good

To a brazillian like me, this article is good enough to make me laugh even if I get fired by putting my job aside and reading Uncyclopedia all day long. And I must add, it combines the truth with that damn cliché "funny, not stupid".

Way to go everyone!

Yoru 18:58, 17 October 2007 (UTC)

[edit] Spanish dialect?

Portuguese is much better than your barbaric language you stupids!!!!!--Williamcln 06:53, 27 February 2008 (UTC)

• A minha, que escrevi metade do artigo, xenófobo panaca? -- herr doktor needsAsample  [scream!] 09:16, 3 March 2008 (UTC)

• Xenófobo é você desgraçado!!!! Desprezando a própia língua!! você é um lixo!!!--Williamcln 05:40, 10 March 2008 (UTC)

[2]