Talk:Geologist

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

Jump to: navigation, search

As a geologist, currently sitting in the middle of Siberia, I am preparing an expedition to explore a rumor based local source of draft beer. I am now arguing with the Engine-Ears about what quantity which will be required. I say minimum 15 liters based on vague "big picture" calculations (since we have 3 empty 5 liter water bottles sitting in the office). The Engine-Ears have calculated 10 liters would be sufficient..............does that make any sense to anybody?

Now, I knew that they obsessed about rocks, but I never knew that they studied poor social skills as well. You learn all sorts here don't ya?

We are not only obsessed with rocks, but as the article clearly states, alcohol....maybe that contributes to our poor social skills.

"A flying rock . . . call a geologist" - Homer Simpson

Who took all the stuff out about Petroleum Geologists? That was the funniest part of the entire article. Can't anyone take a joke??

It wasn't funny at all, actually. Just bragging about how much money you make. And it was clear that the writer had never read anything written in the UK. Who is tony?

My pet cummingtonite, 'Stanley', says you're all BAD PEOPLE!!! Now where did i put that scotch...??

Poor social skills??? Maybe geologists are just better at determining who is worth talking too, and who they would be losing valuable beer drinking minutes of their lives to listen to. I mean, lets be serious. My rock collection weighs less, is prettier, and has more personality than the average American. Wait.....does being drunk and surly most of the time count as poor social skills???69.4.4.200 22:48, 4 January 2007 (UTC)

I think the best part about being a geologist is that you're expected to be an alcoholic. Like last week when I was almost cut off at the bar for displaying those famous social skills we all have, I simply turned to the bartender and said, "HEY! I'm the geologist here, not YOU" and they all nodded, shrugged their shoulders and bought me another round! Or is it that I'm one of those hot field geologist that made its way back into society for just a moment.... who knows?

Contents

[edit] Geologist

Having dealt with the breed for over 26 years the best definition I've found is "extremely well educated campers".--12.65.54.3 17:52, 16 August 2007 (UTC)

Re: Geologists in Movies. At a point in my career when I had a contract with the neighbor's kid to water my plants whenever I was away....and I was away a lot....he asked before one trip what it was I did. Telling him I was Geologist first got a blank stare. Then he brighten...."oh, yeah" he said, "those are the guys who always die in the science fiction movies." 67.118.109.241 16:03, 22 August 2007 (UTC)

Read "Never Piss into the Wind" by Jules DuBar.... is an illustration of an old-school hard core field geologist...

[edit] Bogus Photo!

The photograph is manifestly not of a Geologist, although he is standing in a field. The article clearly elucidates the various physical attributes of a Geologist, and the person in that photo displays none of them: no facial hair, no ponytail, no hand lens on a string; clean shirt, no beer, no rock hammer, no rocks. A real geologist would not be caught dead, much less photographed, in a field bereft of rocks or at least glacial features. This is obviously, therefore, a Geographer attempting to impersonate a Geologist! I'm surprised you people fell for it. Geographers are constantly doing this, usually to get free beer but occasionally trying to get laid.

[edit] request

more coloured pencils please.

[edit] This is great

I go to an AA meeting and was surprised to find that their are 6 Geologists among my group - we all had a great laugh!

[edit] Required reading for friends & family

Fucking brilliant! I'm sending this to my entire family, it explains so much. Missing from the "How to Spot a Geologist" list: When the baggage handler jokingly asks, "What have you got in here, rocks?" you giggle nervously and blush. Also of interest: I believe the weight limit is 50kg for luggage, so you can cram quite a number of specimens in there!

Gees, I can't believe it! IT actually happened to me! (and yes, of course, there were LOT of rocks in the bag).

[edit] Wow...

Hi guys,

I don't know who you are, but this piece is awfully good. I am one of them and wow, that's me... and of course I laughed my butt off. Be serious for a moment: the author(s) is an insider, true? Tell me please!

[edit] Amazing =

As I write this, I am sitting on a drilling rig, yes I am a geologist too. Mudlogger extraordinary actually, owning my own service gig. How true "most" of this is. Everything about the alcohol is understated though. I had 2 doubles before I came out to work. Disclaimer: I was told by my relief that they were not doing anything at the rig tonight. FALSE!!! I get here and they are circulating (moving drilling fluids called "mud" up and down the hole). Being that this as a "hot" well, geothermal that is, I am fortunate to be here before anything happens, which nothing did, and that is usually the story. Anyway, thanks for the truths as they appear!

Personal tools
projects