Talk:Glenn Beck

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Whoever tagged this to be removed. Can anyone tell me how to make this article funnier? --Dark Paladin X 04:01, 31 July 2007 (UTC)

HTBFANJS is your friend. ^_^ —Hinoa talk.kun 04:15, 31 July 2007 (UTC)

This article has pretty much all the symptoms of a bad article:

1. Too many quotes, and the quotes aren't funny. Especially the Russian Reversal. That joke got old before I was born.

2. Lists and notes. They aren't funny. Remove these and replace them with actual paragraphs.

3. Random, pointless, unfunny Pokemon references. Get rid of them.

Sir Cs1987 UOTM. t. c 04:17, 31 July 2007 (UTC)

I'm probably going to work on one and two, but can I still put Pokemon references, because I hate the english version of pokemon due to censorship.--Dark Paladin X 04:22, 31 July 2007 (UTC)

K, I revamp a few things with a screwdriver, tell me if it is funnier or better--Dark Paladin X 17:44, 31 July 2007 (UTC)

Meh, I'll leave it alone now. I got rid of the templates though, because nothing is uglier than a page with multiple irrelevant templates on the top. Sir Cs1987 UOTM. t. c 02:45, 1 August 2007 (UTC)

Contents 1 From Pee Review 2 Keith Ellison 3 Message to all Glenn Beck fans 4 Two great victories today! 5 Another fan of this page! 6 I was just recently accused of being Glenn Beck By Kuro5hin and Encyclopedia Dramatica 7 Awesome picture 8 Video section

[edit] From Pee Review

Since no one gives a fuck on Pokemon anymore, I want to see if some of you consider Glenn Beck article (conservative radio talk show host that I hate) is considered "fresh" or "rotten." The humor is closer to the truth.--Dark Paladin X 21:18, 17 August 2007 (UTC)

Pleb- Sawblade5 ^{[citation needed] ( yell | FAQ | I did this )} 19:22, 5 September 2007 (UTC)

I just rewrote the whole thing because, lets face it, it wasn't very good. See if you like this new version any better- Warmonkey

Wow! The jokes you put in are great, it makes the reader understand that conservative dumb-mindfully back Glenn Beck (in other words, Glenn Beck in a conservative perspective). Nice! --Dark Paladin X 00:03, 14 December 2007 (UTC)

Glad you liked it! I am always keen for a chance to insult Glenn Beck- Warmonkey

Someone came on and jsut removed the quote about Kieth Ellison without explanation. I have put it back in for several reasons. Firstly, insane and racist as it is, its a REAL glenn beck quote! He really said that! I love the fact of taking his real words and tehn agreeing with his moron logic to show how stupid he is. Also, from a basic writing stand point, just removing the quote makes the next paragraph makes no sense. It needs the screwy logic in the quote in order to make sense and be funny! You will have to give me a really good reason to take it out, as I will just add it back in each time, because I find it hilarious! -Warmonkey

[edit] Keith Ellison

Ok, if you actually listened to what Glenn says, in his book, he says that that was one of the worst worded questions in history so, make sure you take it in to mind Warmonkey, that I'm sure you have messed up before but, what ever. -Heroic Frog

You may be a Glenn Beck fan (in which case you have my sympathy, and i hope you get the help you need) but the quote is still both real and very very funny! The fact Glenn felt bad about it afterwards is not really important to its humour value. If you want to write a page about what a nice person Glenn Beck is, thats great, but its not going to be very funny! Mel gibson gets called a racist when he apologised later and so does that guy off sienfeld. The fact is, if you say something moronic, you have to expect to get laughed at. After all, this is uncylcopedia, which is supposed to be.....drum roll please....funny! Remember-

“If you fuck up, cool people will laugh at you!”

~ Warmonkey on why Glenn Beck quotes speak for themselves

-Warmonkey

Yeah, haha, I have sympathy for me too. I'm just another evil hate/war-mongering conservative. But anyway, by listening to his radio show you can find he had butt surgery so, if you wanted to incorporate that into the article. But please let not be anything about him being gay because that would just be stupid. He has a wife.

-Heroic Frog

Thanks for the tip, ass surgery is always funny. You are quite right, gay jokes are waaaaay over done. Ass licking jokes though, we never see enough of. - Warmonkey

Ah! no! None of those either! -Heroic Frog

[edit] Message to all Glenn Beck fans

If you love Glenn Beck, please go and make a web page about how much you love him. You can make a message board to share your favourite Glenn Beck stories, post scenes from your favourite episodes and write fan fiction about his adventures. This, however, is uncyclopedia. Uncyclopedia is here to make fun of, mock and ridicule (usually unfairly) people/things. If you think things written here about Glenn seem mean, nasty, unfair or insulting then you are right. They are completely unfair, rude and insulting. They are also funny! Insulting Glenn Beck has always been, and will always continue to be, funny. If the only reason you make a change is to protect Mr Beck's honour from insults, then dont bother! If you have something actually funny to say, then make an edit- Warmonkey

[edit] Two great victories today!

I've managed to annoy Glenn Beck fans so much, some are trying to get this page deleted! Awesome! Thanks Zombie baron, that means a lot! Even better then that, I learned how to so signatures properly! Warmonkey 03:18, 12 January 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Another fan of this page!

“This entire page is written by a left wing, hatemongering lemming who has never even listened to Glenn's show. Obviously, facts are not necessary on this site. Congratulations on being so brainwashed by the "media."”

~ Glenn Beck's Mother on why she keeps editing this page.

Doesn't Glenn Beck work in the "media"? Ah well, I guess tv, radio and books dont count. Nice quote there, keep the praise comming! Warmonkey 18:37, 31 January 2008 (UTC)

Make sure you say Liberal Media so she don't confuse it with Fox News or something else that is Right-Wing Media. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 23:08, 28 February 2008 (UTC)

[edit] I was just recently accused of being Glenn Beck By Kuro5hin and Encyclopedia Dramatica

I mean really, do any of you seem to think that I am Glenn Beck? I don't think so, but then what do I know? --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 00:20, 21 February 2008 (UTC)

Orion blastar (or should I say Glenn?), thanks for the input on the page. It is not often someone contributes here without just blanking it and saying that they love glenn and hate liberal facists! I am not sure about the quote about health care. It is retarded, but I am just not sure it is as laugh out loud funny as some of his other crap. Also it is a bit long. But thankyou so much for bringing the term "liberal facist" into my dictionairy! I had not heard that one! Brilliant! I am going to accuse all my friends of being liberal facists from now on. Just for that I will let you off for converting the page to american spellings. Warmonkey 18:12, 28 February 2008 (UTC)

Well since I got accused of being Glenn, I decided to watch a few of his shows and look around his web site for funny materials. This transcript has the quote from Glenn talking about Universal Healthcare to a Liberal over the phone. I figure that it is funnier to actually quote Glenn Beck than just make up random stuff about him. My Firefox has the US Dictionary, so of course it shows me words underlined in red that don't have US English spellings. Like in the USA we use fascists instead of facists, and dictionary instead of dictionairy. But if you are going to quote Glenn Beck who lives in the USA, I think you should use US spellings and not UK spellings to make it seem like he actually would say that. Just my two cents. Oh yeah I don't blank and vandalize pages, I try to make them funnier and revert blankings and vandalizations. I one of the few here that can write things that make fun of both liberals and conservatives, being that I am a moderate. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 23:06, 28 February 2008 (UTC)

moderate = liberal facist sympathiser! I agree that the thigns glenn beck really says are the funniest. I jsut think that particular quote might be too long and not funny enough. The page already has 3 other genuine quotes, does it need a forth? I have it on good authority that though glenn beck has an american accent, he speaks in english spellings. Warmonkey 12:50, 29 February 2008 (UTC)

I just found a funnier quote! Comedy, thy name is Glenn! Warmonkey 12:53, 29 February 2008 (UTC)

Orion Blastar, I'm afraid i didn't liek your altest edits. Here is why- Saying Glenn started as a rodeo clown is not true, since we alreayd said he started as an ass licking sex robot. Also it is a bit tagged on and random. Saying that he thinks we need more people in Gitmo is a bit obvious and not really very insightful. Finally, saying he wants million dead not thousands and talkng about deaths in iraq seems to be overly labouring the joke. It is funnier to finish on a snappy punch line like "good old fashioned nuke war". Thanks for the spelling corrections though. I dont want you to think me a jerk for taking those out, I am open to discussing it with you, possibly fitting them back in, but in a different way. Warmonkey 12:48, 21 March 2008 (UTC)

I'm just trying to make it funnier. Glenn keeps saying stuff like "But I'm a rodeo clown, so explain it to me" a lot to his guests. So I guess you kind of missed that humor. He does say over the top stuff like I had recently added. I am not sure why you don't think it is funny. You already wrote Glenn as being that over the top that he would actually like to see more prisoners in GITMO and more dead in Iraq. How many people die in a nuke war anyway? Millions, that is how many. All I was trying to do was make it more factual based on the sort of things that Glenn actually says or might say. You can read HTBFANJS to see that the sexual references and swear words are not always funny. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 03:08, 22 March 2008 (UTC)

Sorry, I didn't know Glenn had actually refered to himself as a rodeo clown, I will add that back in, but I think it could be fitted in better. Let me have a try and see what you think. Millions dead in a nuclear war is true, but it just didn't seem that humourous. I think we can assume that the reader knows what would happen in a nuclear war and why it would be a bad thing without having it over explained. (Unless Glenn himself is reading, because as we alll know, he thinks nukes are good). The other things you added may be actual things Glenn supports (who am I kidding? Of course Glenn supports those kind of things!) they just seemed a bit unnecessary to the humour. There were already lots of quotes high lighting his dumb (and somewhat frightening) views. I dont think we need to list everything he believes (its basically just a list of everything Bush says but worded in an even more stupid way). We are better (in my view anyway) just using a few key stupid quotes of the most truely stupid, badly worded, moronic things he says, rather then trying to express all the crap he believes in one article. Personally I think we've alreayd expressed his stupidity pretty well in what we've written already. I dont really want to start adding more unless its really A-grade stuff. Now excuse me, I have to go and write about how a malfunctioning sex robot found work as a rodeo clown.Warmonkey 10:40, 22 March 2008 (UTC)

Rodeo Clown referance is back in, but in a slightly more elaborate way. Hope you like it. By the way, I looked over your last post Orion and I hope you weren't offended that I didn't like osme of your latest stuff. I think a lot of your ideas have been awesome for this page. Frankly, I cant believe I managed to write a glenn beck page without mentioning liberal facists!Warmonkey 10:54, 22 March 2008 (UTC)

No problem, I am glad we could work things out. Sometimes I find things funny that most others don't find funny. But yeah I research the subjects of articles to find ways to make them funnier. I am glad we were able to agree on a few things. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 20:09, 22 March 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Awesome picture

Cspfloyd, I love that Glenn Beck picture! It is a another victory in the never ending war with liberal facism!Warmonkey 09:39, 13 April 2008 (UTC)

[edit] Video section

I converted the youtube links to embedded videos using Uncyclopedia wiki tags. Can we create a video section? I think the videos are funny, esp the Superdelegates one. Though even when he is series he appears to be funny and he is also funny when he tries to be funny. --Lt. Sir Orion Blastar (talk) 00:06, 12 May 2008 (UTC)