Talk:Kitten

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“In Soviet Russia, when you kill Kitten, God masturbates YOU!!”

~ Russian Reversal on Kittens

I put this in, then realised it was (nearly) already in the image to the right. Is there some way we can combine this? I like Russian Reversals (typical n00b cliche-infatuation) and, to me, the idea of god masturbating YOU!! is a little more funny. perhaps someone with skillz could soviet-ify the image and change the caption? thoughts, anyone? --Hopsyturvy 14:38, 13 July 2006 (UTC)

I really don't find this page interesting or amusing. Kittens and cats play a large role in maintaining the balance of the Earth. If not for them we would have been extinct before Christ was born. Kittens are the precursors of Cats who actually are the creators of this planet. After which they lay back and took a nap while the Planet corrupted into what it is today. When the cats woke up, yawned, stretched they looked around, washed their paws and their rear ends. Then they shook their fur into place and stared in amazement at how many mutations had formed while they were napping. One of the worst mutations was a species which always stood on its hind legs and seemed to be constantly seeking psychiatric help. They named the species Human, a contraction of the word "humor" and the word "man". They meant of course that man was funny looking. Especially that thing hanging down in the central location between his two hind legs, which they called "His Brain". After a while, the cats grew bored watching these Humans running around, trying to mate with each other. They decided to resolve the issue by creating another creature, also a hind-leg stander and they named this creation woman, a contraction of the words Woe and Man, meaning "Woe to Man if he ever gets involved with this one". Cats, who can have an attention span ranging from two seconds if something bores them to two years if they are trying to catch another creature finally got bored with Human and Woman. So they went on to create elephants, mice and cows and other interesting renditions of self propelled things. They also created trees so that the dogs they had created would have a place to pee. Nothing like a dog who hasn't pee'd in several decades to make a real mess of your life.

So you see that I'm a tad upset at your crass article about kitten huffing. Although this is an ancient and now extinct practice, you are trying to bring it back by giving it legitimate coverage and allowing the impressionable public, especially OUR CHILDREN to see the instructions. How would you feel if some poor 5 year old read your instructions and huffed a kitten or tried to huff the family cat? You'd feel nothing! So in the future, please confine yourself and your addictions to Baby Huffing and Cow Patty Snorting. These are legitimate and legal ways to get high. Or just go fly a kite. Hey, isn't there a spell check here? I can't spell. Heeeeeeelp!

... Uh...

...this is a website! --Kalir, Savant of Utter Foolishness! (yell at me) 17:46, 8 May 2006 (UTC)

Hmmmm....Why don't you take that story and do something useful with it, like shoving it up your ass turning it into an article?--DiZ 20:38, 22 June 2006 (UTC)

I pity the foo' who dosen't like kittens!!!!-Mr. T

[edit] Subpage

• Perhaps this Kitten/Lite should be put into a faux disclaimer for the article ? MadMax 21:15, 28 July 2006 (UTC)

[edit] Get rid of the trivia bits

The entire section under "trivia" is completely NOT funny, as it is merely a list of numbers, and sometimes titles of TV shows. Can we please delete it and get on with our lives? --DarthFredd 19:07, 15 February 2007 (UTC)