Target
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The term Target is derived from the words "Tar" and "Get." Scholars have translated its meaning as, roughly, "To Get Tar" (although nobody can be quite sure). It is an ancient term invented by the Incas who somehow used it in ceremonial practices.
In June 1919, a young Lee Harvey Target used the forgotten term to name his chain of supermarkets. The stores dominated the US economy until July of the same year, when Wal-Mart (now referred to as "Wally-world" in the US) replaced it as the center of monetary gain for the world. In modern days, a visit to the stores promises an empty area for exploration.
[edit] Wartime era
Target stores did not fare well during the second Great War. Inexplicably, as soon as a new store location opened and declared itself a Target, missiles and bomber aircraft from both sides would converge upon it and destroy it. The distraction this represented from the main war effort was to prolong the war considerably, with fighting not coming to a close until well into 1945.
Target locations were decimated across Europe and around the world. It took decades for the retail chain to recover from the millions of casualties it had incurred in wartime. The rebuilding process was a long and arduous one. Nonetheless, a few key Target locations appear to have survived the battles.
[edit] Target today
Unmistakably uneasy at the prospect of coming under attack again, Target has become responsible for ensuring that all US national holidays fall into compliance with the politically correct, non-offensive wording standards as set forth by the FDA that won't offend any pollacks, rednecks, negroes, xians, jews, catholics, methodists, nazis, or dwarves. As of March 2005, St. Patrick's Day will become Mr. Patrick's Day; Easter will become Egg Celebration Day, The words Independence Day will be removed from all July 4th paraphenalia, and of course, the Christmas holidays will become hollydays to remove any suggestion of the word holy from the Xian celebrations, the Jewish Hannukkah, the Muslim Ramadan or the Pagan Yuletide. Soon enough, there will be only one hollyday and that is Annual Secular Gift Giving Day.
[edit] See also
- Jihad★Mart, the primary threat to many key US Targets.
