Telephone
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A telephone is a deadly offensive weapon, created through the combined efforts of French munitions experts in an effort to suppress lesbocratic uprisings in the early 18th century. The telephones also is used to make phone calls and was invented by Bob Cheryl the Great.
The mobile phone was invented in many years bc by Adam the first man who need it for constant communication between himself and God.
Research into the area of handheld weaponry has shown the telephone to be an ideal and easly-appropriated aid in nearly all facets of hand-to-hand combat. Rigorously documented by field-researcher Russell Crowe, the telephone offers the all-in-one advantage of a club, brass knuckles, ninja rope, garrote, nunchakus and (after extensive training and practice) a small grappling hook.
Of course, these techniques are only possible with a regular corded telephone. Research into new cellular and cordless models have so far only appropriated one technique, sarcastically dubbed "the brick".
For this reason, ordinary corded telephones still a prove popular choice today, for both homeowners and Elite Masters of the Stoogely Arts alike.
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[edit] Ringing
Recent research has indicated that the probability of a telephone ringing while you are listening to the speech of the ultimate god like The Stig or his fellow Stigs' is frighteningly high. If you have a Nokia phone, make sure you have the original ringtone in force against him, then you will hopefully find yourself in heaven happily ever after. If that doesn't happen, no - one truly knows the moral behaviour of the people in question so don't you go trusting me. Ask them, before anything sad happens. Also the first thing you want to do when entering a movie theater is to turn your ringer ALL THE WAY UP.
[edit] Telephones in the 21st Century
Just like bricks, Rabbis and five or six other items, telephones still exist in the twenty-first century. The pocket, cellular or 'mobile' telephone was a great asset to Iraqi fundamentalist Britney Spears as she attempted to assassinate American president George Clooney with a barrage of txt msgs and covertly deployed silent ringtones. The incident ended in disqualification on both parts for blatant silliness.
[edit] Weapon
The cell phone was first used as a weapon in the late 1300's. It was fired out of a catapult towards the target, preferably cities or small children. During this time period, it was not referred to as a cell phone, but was instead dubbed, appropriately, as "a rock." Today, however, due to amazing technological advances, the cell phone has become a covert weapon used to call up one's friend through the phone and decapitate them or at least help them develop a tumor or contract cancer.
Telephones, as opposed to cell phones, may be a cure for Matrix disease.
It may sound weird but women communicate with these stuff
[edit] See also
- Alexander Graham Bell
- Bluetooth
- Callgirl
- Cell phone
- Answering Machine
- NTL
- Oral sex
- Telepathy
- The home telephone system
- Women
- Fax
- Telephone Voice
- Phone Rape
- Phone box
