Tentacles (film)
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| Writer | Charles Dickens | |||
| Starring |
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| Producers | Spike Milligan, John Cleese | |||
| Director | Spike Milligan | |||
| Runtime | Eighty (80) minutes | |||
| Language | English, Italian | |||
| Distributed by | BBC | |||
| IMDb rating |  
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Tentacles (formerly known as Testicles) is a 1977 thriller by British director and lunatic Spike Milligan, written by Charles Dickens as a partially-erotic spoof of JAWS and SpongeBob SquarePants.
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[edit] Plot
The movie opens in Ocean Beach, Florida (made to look like Centerville with a beach), where Police Chief Matt Brophy (Groucho Marx) has to put up with Mayor Ironfist (Jim Carrey), a drunk who is celebrating the completion of SeaWorld, which is due to be opened in three days time.
Down on the beach, however, several skeletons and bodies begin to wash up. The men have had their skeletons picked clean of all flesh and blood, whilst all the women are dead from exhaustion with sore buttocks. Brophy immediately closes off the beach, which means everybody else is now going to SeaWorld instead.
Whilst the Brophy family struggle to convince Mayor Ironfist of the danger, a marine biologist named Dr. Toot Tittythighs (Lola Bunny) arrives to investigate. Along with the aid of professional assassin and fisherman Captain Ahab (Shadow the Hedgehog), Toot concludes that they are dealing with a giant octopus that is living off the coast of Ocean Beach.
Once again, Mayor Ironfist is too stupid and too drunk to take any notice, even though several more people have died, and the local prostitute, Sexy Sue (Rouge the Bat), has been attacked by the octopus and killed. Ahab comes close to killing Ironfist, egged on by the audience, but he is stopped by Brophy and Toot, as the harpoon is too blunt.
When SeaWorld opens for the first time, it suddenly comes under attack by the octopus, which it is now learned has been supersized by pollution from the construction of the centre. With Ironfist at long last seeing sense, Ahab leads Toot and Brophy into SeaWorld to kill the octopus.
Once inside SeaWorld, Brophy discovers to his horror that his wife Mrs. Brophy (Lindsay Lohan) and his daughter, Spoiled Brat (Shirley Temple) are inside SeaWorld and are now vulnerable to attack by the giant octopus. More determined than ever, and also because there's still 20 minutes left of the movie, he urges Tittythighs and Ahab to take action.
Ahab, who has this weird thing against fish, attacks the octopus with a harpoon gun. This successfully distracts it away from SeaWorld, allowing those inside to try and escape, but unfortunately means that Ahab is next on the menu, and is swallowed whole by the octopus.
Spotting some depth charges aboard Ahab's ship, Tittythighs and Brophy manage to kill the octopus by blowing it up with the depth charges, although they accidentally destroy SeaWorld and kill all inside in the process.
[edit] Reception
The movie received mixed reviews, because they had been kept in a blender. Some defended Spike Milligan by calling the movie:
A triumph for the eco-thriller genre brought about by a brilliant surrealist
Others, however, thought it was too much like JAWS (they would, the talentless bastards), and called the movie:
A load of crap
But still, that didn't stop the movie making a total of $26,000,000 at the Box Office, did it? Well, didn't it?
[edit] Background
Director Spike Milligan had once told interviewers on the BBC that he had once planned to use a giant octopus in one of his wartime propaganda films, Das Boot, but had been forced to remove it as it "wasn't convincing enough":
I'd tried to tell them that something like the Kraken would make a great ending, instead of British and German submarines knocking the shit out of one another, but they just weren't interested.
Together with writer Charles Dickens, Milligan was able to use the giant octopus scenario in a light JAWS spoof, and succeeded in recruiting Squidward Tentacles of SpongeBob SquarePants fame into the role of the Octopus.
Further references to SpongeBob were made when filming the SeaWorld scenes. An easter egg for viewers is when Brophy discovers his wife and child inside SeaWorld; at the bottom of the screen are dolls of SpongeBob SquarePants and Sandy Cheeks made to look as if they are making out.
[edit] Full Cast
- Groucho Marx - Chief Matt Brophy
- Lindsay Lohan - Mrs. Brophy
- Squidward Tentacles - The Octopus
- Jim Carrey - Mayor Ironfist
- Lola Bunny - Dr. Toot Tittythighs
- Shadow the Hedgehog - Captain Ahab
- Rouge the Bat - Sexy Sue
- Tom Cruise - The Monster on TV
- Shirley Temple - Spoiled Brat Brophy
- Florida - The Helpless Victims
- Donald Duck - Dead Fisherman (uncreditted)
[edit] See Also
- Howard the Duck (film) - Another thriller by Milligan
- Invasion of the Body Squeezers - Another movie by Milligan with aliens instead of an octopus
- JAWS - A similar film
- Spike Milligan - The director of this movie
- Shark Movie - A similar JAWS spoof that also spoofs this movie
