Terence Mckenna
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“WTF?”
~ Oscar Wilde on Terence Mckenna
“This guy has had some of my stuff!”
~ Alexander Shulgin on Terence Mckenna
Terence McKenna (born at the beginning of human history, as he seems to know more about it than archaeologists, and probably transcending death) was a 20th century anti-synthetic-drug activist and science fiction writer credited with discovering the dangers of hallucinogen use by proving ingestion of such substances leads one to make up the most ridiculous and untenable theories one could possibly imagine. He is widely credited with being sampled in every psytrance song ever made and discovering that a great change is going to take place in 2012 when millions of New Agers realize the Mayans didn't know shit.
McKenna has proposed the possibility of mankind inventing a real time machine in the year 2012. This prediction was made using fake mathematics that were described to him by an imaginary friend while he was under the influence of what Bill Hicks would call a 'heroic dose' of Psilocybin. This imaginary friend is not to be confused with the other stories he's told. One story he tells about his experiences while on DMT often involve "elves dribbling mechanical basket cases, who speak fluent glossolalia, which is a sub-dialect of Latin that was only spoken in one household, and nowhere else. Ever."
McKenna's claim to fame came out of a comment made by Timothy Leary, who introduced McKenna to a crowd of people as "my better half." Others have also offered their own compliments and criticism, including a caller to the Art Bell radio show who accused McKenna of being the anti-christ because McKenna was against prohibition. He is also known for pointing out that the internet was the greatest accidental invention ever set loose by the US Government.
He died from a rare type of brain tumor in April of 2000, which was caused by excessive use of a bulky cellular phone. On this phone was the autograph of Carl Jung, written in magic marker. The sentimental value McKenna held for this device caused him to be extremely reluctant to get a new phone which, if he had, may have saved his life and allowed him to answer hate mail in the year 2013.
His remains were cremated (including that same favorite cellular phone), and his ashes were tossed into the Skull and Bones Fraternity courtyard by a very small group of his former cult followers. This effort, they say, was made in an attempt to place a curse on the frat in hopes it would lead to the legalization of Salvia Divinorim (A wonder drug that is already legal...nobody told them; they forgot to ask). The incident, ironically, is reenacted by Skull and Bones members every year on that day, but only because they perceived the urn to contain the ashes of Hitler, one of the fraternity's gods.
