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Texas A&M University
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Motto	A Unique American Institution.
Established	1876
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School type	Public
President	Darth Vader & the The Imperial Wizard
Location	College Station, Texas, USA
Campus	Faggie Land
Enrollment	{{{enrolled}}}, {{{graduates}}}
Endowment	2 inches
Faculty	Illinois Nazis
Mascot	Charlie, the happy negro

“Pardon me, but I do believe that your thumb is in my ass.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Multiple Occasions at Aggie Football Games

[edit] Academics

The university in Texas -- established 1876, built on morals and utmost comaraderie, the school was originally a military college funded by state money for improvements in agriculture. TAMU was originally called TAMC, standing for Texas Agricultural and Mechanical College.

Aggie life is something which "from the outside looking in cannot be understood and from the inside looking out cannot be explained" - it is simply felt. Some attribute this to a deeply spiritual experience, but it is clinically proven that this loss for words is due to the Aggies' notorious lack of mastery of the english language, much less basic syntax or vocabulary.

[edit] Athletics

Texas A&M traditionally has ridiculously mediocre athletic programs.

They have claimed only one national championship in NCAA football (1939), even though Aggies like to brag about the 12th man. It must be noted that no other sport matters to Aggies as most other sports involve a higher level of thinking than they are used to. Also, A&M holds a huge rivalry with the University of Texas at Austin whom they perpetually envy for having bigger penises than their own (even the ones on the Corps girls!).

A&M is also known to be home to some of the most annoying, arrogant fans known to man.

[edit] Traditions

The traditions are what makes College Station "Aggieland". Aggies like to say, "From the outside you can't understand it, from the inside you can't explain it." This is because a crucial part of the saying is left out that says "because we're all bat-shit fucking crazy."

Another Aggie tradition is to spend all year waiting for one game to come and then basing your happiness for the next twelve months on the outcome of said game.

The A&M football team also has a tradition of finding every way possible to lose to Texas Tech every single year. One year, the Tech team did not even show up and still won 56-0. It is okay though, because "A&M is a much smarter school than Texas Tech." This is apparent from research done at the University that shows a direct correlation between level of intellgence and level of homosexuality at a location.

[edit] The Corps

As with most of A&M traditions, the corps is one more example of how Aggies release and express their pent up homosexual tendencies. The corps is gay. Really gay. Greg Louganis gay. Seriously. Heard of the jizz jar? I mean c'mon. They make the Boy George look like a lumberjack. The corps is that gay.

[edit] Gig'em

A tradition, executed by a simple "thumbs up". The sign originated from a former coach who told the A&M football team to "gig the hell outta TCU". At that very moment, a new campus tradition was born; although, no one knows exactly what it means to "gig" anything. This tradition has also been controversely noted for various instances of "Gig-Em Get-Togethers" where massive thumb-to-butt "fights" occur between Corpsmen in a display of "how fucking MANLY [they] are, brah."

[edit] George H.W. Bush Presidential Library

Originally concocted as a mausoleum to the native Sky-Gods that represented the Bush family, the George H.W. Bush Presidential Library and Bronze Horse Statue Complex had to be toned down at the request of the State of Texas. The building itself is a feat amongst its brethren on the College Station campus as it is the first structure to receive a design rating as high as "forgettable" from the Royal Institute of British Architects.