Thai

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A Thai, commonly misspelt as tie, is a rope that is around the necks of people who like to wear casual clothes. It's a gesture of politeness, so as to show "If I behave like an asshole, pull it and I'll die". First worn by Nikola Tesla in 1929, it became popular with bankers during the stockmarket crash, as it was a convenient way to hang themselves.

Please do not make the mistake of capturing or purchasing a well-sedated snake and using it as a tie.

In one country in the world, Thailand, everyone, both men, women, and children, wear thais. The most common greeting in the Thai language is: Those who are about to die, greet thai, referring to the rope around their necks.

DING DING DING LAO!

[edit] The Danger of Thais

A midget teacher shows a student how to tie a thai.

Some believe they make wonderful gifts and are the perfect present for any man with a neck, however, the thai is the most dangerous article of clothing, rivaling that of pants. The thai wraps itself around the poor defenseless neck. It then injects The innocent man (or cross-dressing whore's) neck with a polyester based neurotoxin, causing itchiness, breathing problems, and an overwhelming desire to wear paisley. As the toxin progresses through the body, the victim of the cheap, polyester based thai will submit to the man.

Silk based thais, however, are a whole 'nother ball game, as it were. The thai, being made of silk, is very slippery and can wriggle out of almost any person's grip, hanging a person by itself instead of merely making them wish they could. However, the silk-based thai is much more comfortable when worn around the neck and is not as itchy as their polyester counterparts.