The American Tourist

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Typical American tourists visit a far away "foreign" land

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Endangered subspecies of the Americans, travel by the American species has been on the decline worldwide due in large part to the mis-information taught in public schools. Said schools tell that everything to be seen, can be seen in America. The absence of all countries but America and Japan (who produce their coveted "large motor vehicles" ) on the students globe, may also contribute to the tourists decline. As of today, thirty-seven nations have closed their borders to American Tourists following repeated inappropriate comments made in the presence of historical items and buildings.

The War on Tourism has added to the problem. Americans are increasingly scared shitless because almost everyone outside America is pissed at their president. Today, American tourists only go abroad in large parties (up to 100,000), driving around in big steel-plated Hummers, Bradleys and Abrams and re-enacting scenes from Rambo. Hiding in their armoured cars they accusse the rest of the world of being cowards. Favourite places include Baghdad and Falluhahaha.

[edit] Tourist Identification

The most recent American tourist uniform consists of:

• Desert camouflage clothing.
• Army boots.
• An M16.
• A big fat military vehicle which they won't leave, unless being blown out of it by another car-bomb.
• Citing quotes from George W. Bush.