The Birds
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The Birds was a protogothic horror/slash/musical play ghost-written by the infamous Greek philosopher Aristophanes in 2222 BCE. It has lots of birds in it, most of them starlings but there are a couple of mallards and if you freeze frame at 56 minutes 22 seconds, you can see a flamingo! Cool, yeah?
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[edit] Synopsis
[edit] Act I
The theatrical piece, originally composed for a vast Aerodynamic stage many thousands of Greek stadia in width and length and height, starts out with a young Greek woman being shipwrecked on a deserted tropical island (populated solely by Rod Taylor and a cast of thousands of unpaid extras). She soon discovers, much to her horror, that the local schoolchildren have supernatural powers which allows them to attract billions and billions of cute little birds, which they then sic upon the unsuspecting townsfolk and Rod Taylor (much like a swarm of bloodthirsty mosquitos with lovely plumage).
[edit] Intermission
During the intermission after the end of Act I, Aristophanes himself makes an uncredited cameo and pleads with Roger Ebert to grant his work a favorable review in the tabloid media, else he will kill him.
[edit] Act II
In Act II, the ravaging avians, having eaten all of the nuts and berries and unsuspecting townsfolk and schoolchildren and Rod Taylor, abandon the deserted tropical island and fly away to Happy Happy Joy Joy Land, where they form a pseudo-British rock band which temporarily captivates the jaded American public with many psychedelic one-day hits such as "My Chartreuse Tambourine Man" and "Ecclesiastes 3:1-8".
[edit] Intermission
After the conclusion of Act II, Aristophanes once again appears on stage, holds aloft the severed and blood-dripping head of Roger Ebert, and simply glares at the audience for several hours.
[edit] Act III
The third and final Act III is a lengthy and tedious philosophical discussion amongst a panel consisting of Plato, Isosceles of Crete, Bertrand Russell, the entire cast of Cats, and a parakeet, where they bicker and argue about the significance and ultimate meaning about all that has transpired in the previous two acts. The parakeet soon tires of the inane proceedings and dies of extreme boredom.
