The Bort Police
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The Bort Police were founded in 1955 by The Groo Party in The Haskodrome, under the leadership of Doctor Asiphus Al Hussein, as the first National Police force. The first commissioner to be appointed was a close friend of Al Hussein's, Lord Graeme Christ, a trolleybus shed manager from Weston Super-Mice, who was given the job due to his 'impressive beard growth'. Under Christ's instruction, the controversial "shoot first, interrogate later" policy was instigated, resulting in a dramatic fall in crime, but also a widespread culling of many of The Haskodrome's residents. Despite the wide dissatisfaction with the policy, it was only dropped in 1962 when Christ admitted that police recruitment was becoming increasingly difficult, due to the sharp decline in the local population.
The Bort Police initially was based out of a fridge based in Weston Super-Mice's tough Westside area, however they soon outgrew the premises, citing an increase in the number of shelves being stacked with beer. Reports of drunken officers severely enhanced the reputation of the force, and the headquarters were quickly upgraded to a local pub. The move proved popular, the theory being that drinkers could get paralytic courtesy of the police budget, and unwittingly grass up local criminals. In practice however, it was discovered that the police station was usually the premier venue for mass drunken punch ups, however large amounts of money were saved by withdrawing police cars, due to the officers only needing to travel from their tables, a couple of foot on foxback to arrest the offenders.
In 1964, Christ was forced to step down as commissioner over the Horacegate Scandal which rocked the foundations of the force. It was found that the police station pub had formed an illegal cartel with other local establishments, to sell only Horace Export (New Haskodromia's Number One Beer ™), forcing competing breweries to go into liquidation. A moderate from the world of academia was chosen to replace Christ, the affable 'Uncle' Zubert Hawkings, who's cheery disposition, and predilection with log tables and the abacus, meant that very little policing was achieved.
The force was duly dissolved in 1965, with the removal of the Groo Party from government, in favour of the right wing El-Beauno Brand X Party. The party advocated the approach of self-policing, largely so they could spend tax revenue saved on policing in brothels, and duly issued all citizens over the age of five with a baseball bat and a dustbin lid.
