The Bunny Cult

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Founded in 1844, The Bunny Cult began in a log cabin and was founded by Abe Lincoln's abusive stepmom Beatrice Fergusen Lincoln. She started the bunny cult with the help of the bunny she was having an affair with. The bunny's name was 'Overlord Kahn, Eater of Souls and Carrots'. Overlord Kahn had sparked a revolution in the American underground. Through careful manipulation of the stock market, he single-handedly caused the Civil War, lightbulbs, the Irish Potato Famine, the Scottish Tomato Famine, and the Welsh Cotton Swab Famine twice. Soon, The Bunny Cult grew and the government recognized them as a true threat. The only true person to know of Kahn's plans to dominate the entire Florida Keys was Abe lincoln. Abe Lincoln told the police, who beat him up for being a tattletale. After hearing of Lincoln's insolence, Kahn had him killed. Soon, Kahn realized that he would need a new heir to the bunny throne. So Kahn hit the clubs on the jersey shore, hitting on the wimmens and livin' it up Kahn style. And then He met the true love of his life - Shannequa Hitler. The two gave birth to a son, who they named Adolf Kahn Hitler. The man to take the overlord's place.

[edit] The 4 1/2 REICH

In 1945, Hitler staged his death to form his father Kahn's dream of a 4 1/2 Reich.

The 4 1/2 Reich consisted of 20 Corps, rallying in total 4 guys. But with careful strategic placement of flyers in the town YMCA and community center the Reich grew 10 fold. Hitler Planned his first move to assassinate President Clinton by hypnotizing his wife. It didn't work. The 4 1/2 Reich kept low for awhile and still hides today, somewhere deep in the underbelly of Suburbia.

But some of the members have broken off and began their own insurgency known as the 2nd Bunny Cult of Paris, Ohio. The 2nd Bunny Cult was infamous in the Ohio tri-state area and had their own navy in Lake Michigan. The Bunny cult also picked up trash on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. They may be evil but they ain't litterbugs.

Indeed, the 2nd Bunny Cult was evil, but were defeated when somebody put "Die" in their suggestion box. They took their lives in an honorable fashion - with loaded gophers. I will not go into details after the death of the 2nd Bunny Cult, but the 4 1/2 threw a memorial fiesta held by Hitler himself.

[edit] The 2nd Bunny Cult is reformed!

"Those bunny cult boys are, like, Sooo Cute!"

~ Clay Aiken on the Bunny Cult Reformation.

In the year 1999, the Indians built a casino on the graves of the Bunny Cultists and the Bunny Cultists ATTACKED! Using their zombie powers, they formed an army of Lethal Cavemen Jedis. The cavemen then killed the Indians and ate their tepees. The zombie Bunny Cultists then reformed and vowed to take vengeance on whoever put 'Die' in their suggestion box. The cavemen went out for a quick latte at Starbucks. To this day, the zombie cultists have yet to find the fiend who made them commit suicide, but they promise progress. In order to find the person, the Zombies sent out French fish, the deadliest of all French animals.