The Candy War

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

The Candy War (1933-1935) was a war declared by the strangers against the babies that were stealing their business by holding candy that anyone could and did easily take. The babies were led by Greta Ralaman, while the strangers were led by Ulysses S. Grant V.

[edit] How the Battles were Fought

The battles were fought in a very simple way. The babies were taught to throw knives at the strangers, who were taught how to dodge the knives. The strangers would then kidnap the babies and take them off to their base, which was above the Earth's mantle under New Orleans. The babies were thrown into the mantle when there were too much babies.

[edit] Battles

• The Battle of Central Park (June 27th, 1933): A large group of babies with candy were at Central Park in New York City. A group of strangers kidnapped them, ending the battle in five minutes.
• The Boston Harbor Massacre (December 1st, 1933): A group of babies appeared in Boston Harbor, but these babies had knives instead of candy. Seven strangers were killed trying to kidnap the babies, but in the end, they were all kidnapped.
• The Disney World Battle (February 6th, 1934): The strangers were trained to dodge knives and had all kidnapped babies in their mantle base. Lots of knife-bearing babies fought against the strangers in Disney World of Florida, but only one stranger was killed. All babies were kidnapped.
• The Day Care Destruction (February 27th, 1934): A day care center in Tallahassee was attacked by the babies, and the two owners of the day care were killed. The strangers kidnapped them all.
• The Orphanage Raid (July 2nd, 1934): The strangers attacked an orphanage in Houston, TX where the babies of Ralaman's army were coming from. The strangers successfuly destroyed it.
• The Battle of Christmas (December 25th, 1934): While the babies were at their new orphanage base celebrating Christmas with Ralaman, the strangers attacked. Ralaman was nearly killed, and all babies were taken.
• The Baby Bomb Battle (March 13th, 1935): The babies attacked a stranger and many more strangers went to help fight the babies. Two of the babies were suicide bombers and caused the death of three strangers. In the end, the strangers won by kidnapping all living babies.
• The Final Strike (April 1st, 1935): The babies attacked the stranger's base under New Orleans. All of the remaining babies fought, and seven were suicide bombers. Several clowns were also fighting on the side of the babies. Twelve strangers were killed. Ralaman was killed by a stranger. All babies were dumped into the hot mantle of the Earth, in which they burned because it's all lava there.

[edit] Casualties

There were many casualties in the war, almost all of them being of the babies. 22 strangers were killed, everyone on the side of the babies (around 1,000 people) were killed and two other people were killed, resulting in a total of about 1,024 deaths, 99% being of people on the side of the babies.

[edit] What the War Brought

Very few babies with candy were randomly found in public places, and none of them were Ralaman's since she was dead. The strangers returned to their normal ways of doing things.

[edit] See also

Taking candy from strangers