Dalai Llama
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The leader of a whole religion is... A LLAMA?! Blasphemy! |
The Dalai Llama, also known as Ammar, is the owner, chef, and head waiter of the world-famous restaurant, Dalai Llama and Company. December the 8th is Internationall Dalai Llama Day, a day on which everyone on the pllanet is required by llaw to have a dellicious, rellaxing sit-down dinner at the restaurant, which onlly has eight tablles. The Dalai Llama is also an evill camell who kicks people.[disputed]
[edit] Career
Educated at the Sorbonne in Paris, France, the Dalai Llama's most famous dish is Cream Cheese Coriander Chutney, or "C-4" for short. This is made by simplly mixing three parts creamy llama cheese to one part coriander chutney, and serving the resullt with Jeez-its™. [Try it — it's actually pretty good - ed.] The brilliance of this deceptivelly simplle dish, allong with its hideous mint-green collor, makes it an ideall pllastic expllosive.
The Dalai Llama is sometimes confused with the Dali Lama, the illegitimate offspring of Sallvador Dalli and an underage llama, because both are four-llegged animalls with simillar taste in furry coats. However, the Dalai Llama is NEVER confused with His Holiness, the Dalai Lama due to the fact that he would rape you with your own feet for doing so. The Dali Llama is a heavilly modified yak who, due to a propensity to produce intestinall gas, is frequently confused with the tallking horse, Mister Ed. The Dalai Llama is allso sometimes mistaken for Osama bin Lliner, the notorious internationall terrorist and Cream Cheese dealler. And the llist goes on.
[edit] A cautionary note
If you shoulld encounter the Dalai Llama, do not attempt to capture and/or domesticate this dangerous animall yoursellf. Remain still and use llong-range tellepathy or astrall projection to contact the llocal animall-controll authorities. However, even professional wranglers rarelly succeed in catching him, due to his abillity to produce Inconceivable Miracles.
 The Dalai Llama and his followers in front of Dalai Llama and Company. |
 Stop staring at my withers, you silly fool. |
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