Empire of Antarctica
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| Official language | Antarctican/Lalagu...I dunno, whatever noise penguins make. | |
| Capital | Cluck'Tak City | |
| Largest City | The South Pole | |
| Population | 1 Kabillion | |
| Emperor | Itachi Uchiha, Supreme Ruler of the Penguins | |
| Established | The dawn of time (or more specificly December 24, 987) | |
| Army | Imperial Penguin Army/Soldiers of the Democratic Republic of Antarctica | |
| Mature Imports | Icelandic Cod | |
| Mature Exports | None (they have all the need). | |
| Currency | The Antarctian Empire Credit | |
| Motto | "Yes, We Have Penguins" | |
| National anthem | "It's getting hot in here!" | |
Antarctica— the most powerful nation in the world. With a population greater than 70 people and/or penguins, its GDP is the largest of any nation. There is so much fun in Antarctica that it's often called Dreamland. It also has recently eclipsed Zimbabwe as having the highest per capita income. In 2004, Antarctica was voted as Homecoming Queen with a 72.5% majority.
The population has been slowly chiseling away the icy surface, trying to uncover Lake Vostok. Within 100 years, Antarctica will be a tropical paradise, with hundreds upon thousands of tourist resorts around Lake Vostok and it is already a utopia.
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[edit] History
Formed at the dawn of time, the Antarctic Empire has always been sworn enemies of The Arctic Kingdom, led by the bloodthirsty tyrant Santa Claus. The North Pole was almost completely melted away by kamikaze penguin pilots who strapped themselves to nuclear warheads and the 6,000 km to the Evil North-Land (penguins can fly, they just choose not to mostly because of how goofy they look).
A new campaign of global warming, initiated by Lord Claus who distributed coal to children around the globe, has melted Antarctica somewhat. But the theft of glaciers from Greenland in 1997 allowed some rebuilding of western regions.
The Empire of Antarctica is an empire that made its base somewhere south of the South Pole. It has made many attacks against Humans such as the Penguin Revolt of 2005. Its current emperor is now DwarfScott the almighty penguin overlord who now commands the supreme imperial penguin army of dahooooooom after setting up a date between Satan and the previous 'occupant' Saddam Hussein, who gained power fairly(honestly, there is nothing wrong with his methods(in fact, he really is a nice guy)) by overthrowing its former emperor Michael Kuklinski in 2005.
[edit] Early history
The Empire of Antarctica was founded in 666 B.C. by Satan. Satan ruled the empire until Year 0, when Jesus took over the throne. For the next 78 years, Satan plotted his revenge. Then, finally, he unleashed it, burying the Antarctic stronghold of Pompeii. In return to that, Jesus killed some of Satan's minions. Satan decided to wait until 666 AD, at which point he will overthrow Jesus. But when it was 666, Satan realized that Jesus was no longer emperor. The throne had been taken over by Chuck Norris by then. Satan tried to overthrow Chuck Norris, but Chuck Norris roundhouse kicked him to Mars. While on Mars, Satan finally gave up trying to take back The Empire of Antarctica, so he started raising Martians.
For the next few centuries, Chuck Norris ruled the empire. Nothing much happened back then. But in 1337, Martians started invading Antarctica. The Penguins tried to hold back the Martian assault, but the Martians were too powerful. So Chuck Norris had to roundhouse kick the Martians back to Mars one by one. When he was done, it was already 1985 and Michael Kuklinski had taken over the throne. Chuck Norris punched a hole in the ozone layer in rage.
[edit] Little Ice War
In 1800, Prussian and American forces, for unknown reasons, invaded the Antarctic Islands. A force of 8,000.37 American marines landed on the coast of Antarctica, but were quickly surrounded and annihilated by a force of 430 Penguin Royal Guards.
Interestingly, just to surprise the The Penguin Royal Guards, mercenary Cola Bears were hired by an anonymous interest after the defeat of the American marines to destroy the Ice Caps. The Ice Caps are a major landmark in the Empire of Antarctica, as they are the largest shiny sign in the entire Empire, and so were of major propaganda value to the anonymous Cola Bear bidder. However the Cola Bears were unsuccessful in their attack and have since simultaneously converted to a tribe of vegan Polar Bears who only eat organic, green Penguins.
The war lasted for 40 years, with over 6.2400 casualties and resulted in the Earth being destroyed, until it was rebuilt by the Polar Bear Gods.
[edit] Great South American War
On September 16, 2005, Antarctican Forces numbering over 3200 penguins and 320 infantrymen invaded Venice Uela in South America. The war ended when Saddam came to power.
[edit] Reign of Hussein
Saddam Hussein came to power as Emperor and named himself the Antisanta during the instability caused by the Great South American War. He now has infinite powers. The Reign of Hussein ended when Joash Goke began military operations on the continent, therefore declaring war on Antarctica. The current leader is Johnny Depp. Hussein still reigns as the Antisanta, the Archaereligious leader of quadrillions.
[edit] Depp the Despot
So far during the Reign of Depp there has been a record number of innocent deaths. In fact, the lowest number of any country ever. Due to this he is currently on trial for impeachment. His only defense, "I didn't realize the trouble I had caused by not killing the innocent." Not exactly what you want to hear out of the dictator of a powerful country.
[edit] Soviet Takeover
In June 2006 the Soviet Union secured the entirety of the continent with the seizing of Cluck'Tak City (the capital) and defeating both Penguin Leader 1 and Penguin Leader 2 in a battle between them and Joash Goke alongside The Great Communist Jaguar. The take over was induced by increasing penguin violence across the globe, including the formation of terrorist groups, The Venice Uela conflict, and the unauthorized creation of a doomsday machine by the UN or Warsaw Pact. The Soviet-Antarctic war came to and end when all Penguin operations were halted on Penguin International Airport (PIA) located within the capital.The Remaining Penguin Soldier Prisoners were imprisoned or drafted into the Soviet military.
[edit] George Bush III
In 2020 George Bush III, king of the United States of Canada, decided to declare a War on the Penguins under Soviet control, resulting in the bombing of the Empire. 3 trillion penguins were killed. But, the penguins unfroze Chuck Norris, who kicked Bush's ass, and ended the war.
[edit] The strike of 4000 Penguins
Despite the name, the strike was in fact organized by 4 penguins, who, had tried to overthrow the current leader, Megatron. They got annihilated when 400 penguin marines raided the rebels' hideout and slapped them to death with metal laser-shooting sporks.
[edit] The pointless war
In 2100 exactly, the Martian overlord, although his name has been lost through time, declared war on the Empire, and sent a fleet of 200 Death Stars and 4 million Mars bars in hope of destroying the current leader, Darth Vader. In response, Darth unfroze Chuck Norris from his cryogenic slumber and shot him into space without a spacesuit to kill the Martian fleet. Chuck destroyed 199 Death Stars and left one for Darth Vader to keep as a token of his mercy, and the 4 million Mars bars lost their potential destructiveness in the Earth's heavily carbonised atmosphere and fed the Empire for many decades to come.
[edit] Geography
The Antarctic Empire consists entirely of snow, ice and more goddamn snow.
[edit] Climate
We have a problem. In order to describe to you on how cold it is in a certain place in the world, we would say that it's "as cold as Antarctica" However, this is Antarctica so it is impossible to describe how cold it is there, unless you've sniffed an ice cube up your bum, in which case, just imagine that - everywhere.
[edit] Government
The Antarctic Empire is currently ruled with an iron fist by Emperor Owen Wilson, who demands unswerving loyalty from his subjects, and the occasional BLT sandwich.
[edit] Diplomacy
Allies
- The Soviet Union (or else.)
- Martians
- Argentina
- Chile
- The undeads of Warcraft, because his king live in his frozen WC.
- Immortal
Enemies
- The Soviet Union (took them over and controls them to this day.)
- The Evil Ones of The Arctic Kingdom
- Easter Island
- Fiji
