The Final Battle Between Good and Evil

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For most followers in the Church of Cheese, The Final Battle Between Good and Evil will most likely take place in a 7-11 near or bordering (but most certainly not in) Sheboygan near that huge flagpole at that insurance company. Revelations taken from the third letter of St. Chedder to the British (most notably, Winston Churchill) place the battle during the year XXXX.

This will be a dark year, according to the book. Massive Froot armies will rise up and devour some things in their paths. Stuff will get crazy and crazy junk will go down. Rats will walk the Earth. So will Spawn.

Halfway through the year, it is foretold that Wesley Willis will rise up from the grave to become Great Zombie Wesley Willis. He will find his keyboard, headbutt his friends, and generally become the ruler of the Good.

After a quick refamiliarization process, Willis will smite his opponents, Vin Diesel and the wise and greedy Abstaintarians, real quiet like. With them out of the way, he'd have a set path to Enlightenment, if he wasn't already there.

Prophecy states that this mighty undead folk hero will climb to the top of his dead enemies stacked bodies, be struck by lightning, and forever play keyboard tunes to the survivors of the new land, North Schizophrenia.

[edit] Fun Facts of the Apocalypse

Zombies will no longer be feared, because Supreme Being Wesley Willis will also be a zombie, and the ruler of all those non-Supreme Being zombies.
The world will become united, and all shall refer to soda by its one true name: Pop.
Kitten huffing will remain something to do to make yourself not only cool, but "with it".
Bruce Campbell will kill everything. And Wesley Willis, as cool as you THINK he is, will be the first to fall. Hail to the King, Baby.

[edit] Other Junk You Should Probably Know

Ultra Jesus only emerges briefly during this time to aid in the campaign against Oprah's so-called armies of mercy. Do not be fooled. While it is merciful to kill someone who is watching Oprah, it is only sick and demented to force them to watch the program. Oh yeah, Ultra Jesus wins.
The revelations talked about elsewhere in society are wrong. Only follow the Church of Cheese.
The Flying Spaghetti Monster has nothing on Great Zombie Wesley Willis. Seriously
Bruce Campbell will kill you and your family too. Because he can.