Flintstones
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The Flintstones was a Victorian novel written by Oscar Wilde, dealing with the lives and fortunes of two upper-class families in a small hamlet of London, and set in the early years of the Cretaceous period of the Mesozoic era (c. 137,264,254 BCE).
Contents |
Principal characters
- Dr Frederick Smythe von Smythe Flintstone III
- Mrs Wilma Jacquelyn Flintstone (née Hargreaveserrock)
- Rastus Armageddon Flintstone, Fred Flintstone's slave
- "Pebbles" Lucretia Flintstone
- Their pet pedigreed iguanadon (Dinosaurus iguanadoni), Dino
- Bernard Abercrombie Blitzgerald-Hampster Rubble
- Mrs Elizabeth Carlotta Rubble (née Baron-Smithershale)
- Maurice "Bamm-Bamm" Fernando Rubble
- Carlton (a casual acquaintance of Frederick)
- Leonard (a casual acquaintance of Frederick)
- Guy Harris (taught Fred how to surf)
- Rock Hudson, the Flintstone's bachelor neighbor
Excerpt from Chapter 14 (page 247)
Frederick had never previously suspected Bernard's tenacity to talk of the many times he had failed to support the wayward antics of his chosen confidants, even though Carlton and Leonard knew otherwise. Indeed, there followed an uncertain echo of geologic times past, as it were; perhaps no other changes could be fathomed here. Suddenly, and without much in the way of warning, a Tyrannosaurus rex chose that moment to sneak up on Bernard and devour him whole. During the violent struggle betwixt caveman and dinosaur, Frederick reflected on the many stressful occasions that the two friends quarrelled over seemingly unimportant issues. Indeed, Bernard's incessant screaming was a poignant reminder of Frederick's unexpressed and yet unrequited love for Elizabeth, even though the stern yet gentle Wilma was always foremost amongst his many desires. To love or not to express love, either for the voluptuous Elizabeth in her hour of need, or the unyielding friendship of Bernard, who had still not stopped screaming in spite of being violently digested by the monstrous creature at hand? There seemed no immediate way for Frederick to differentiate the complimentary choices that presented themselves uninvited. And so, Frederick bid farewell to Bernard, firmly in the knowledge that what was to come is a mere reflection on what has already drifted off into the unchangeable past, and vowed to himself that the voluptuous Elizabeth should be allowed to grieve over the grisly fate of her unlucky husband in her own special way.
The Honeymooners
Live-action take-off of The Flintstones.
The Flintstones obviously pre-date the Honeymooners since it takes place at a time in history when men and dinosaurs shared the earth (along with pesky little green men), -- long before bus drivers, like Ralph, had the benefit of internal combustion engines.
Meet the Jetsons
The Flintstones seriously prove that they are mad whack when they meet The Jetsons, who have all this tight technology and basically are amazingly better at everything that involves technology, despite The Flintstones stoner style. So instead of killing the Jetsons and robbing their rich asses, the Flints just become friends with them, then go on with their cave man lives. What the fuck, holmes?
In the 2006 film "Flintstones Meet The Jetsons Meet The Osmonds Meet Superman", their world is established as the post-apocolyptic result of WW6, 2002. The bombs left behind strange radiation that unlocked human potential, leaving some with teleckinesis and goofy names like EckyEcky Ecky Kezang ZOOM POING! The new generation, however, gained superhuman strength. The animals became sentient, but were bullied back into submition as urinals, elevators and surface-to-ground RPGs. Those with mind powers started a casino on the moon and pretty much left all the other "dum-dums" to die. The power vacuum has allowed the sons of a proud few to rebuild a reclusive, socialist society in the sky, with deadly treadmills on the outside designed to discipline free thinkers and the dirty hobos of the stone nation. The film follows a baby penguin (morgan freeman) trying to find his way home, and takes place in a public restroom where the manatee-child is employed as a diaper despenser. The film doesn't actually feature the Flintstones, Osmonds, jetsons, or superman or show the post-apocolyptic nightmare on screen. Director, tim burton, states the name is symbolic of the peguin's struggle for greatness.
See Also
“Good God in Heaven, what the hell was I smoking when I wrote this festering crap?”
~ Oscar Wilde on the Flintstones
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