The Game

From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.

For those without comedic tastes, the so-called experts at Wikipedia think they have an article about The Game.

The object of The Game is to forget that it exists.

    Now here the satire (somethings are real, but most not).

I LOST THE GAME
Therefore, so did you THE GAME.

“Why don't you play The Game?”

~ Daft Punk

“Play the Game”

~ Queen

“What's the Name of The Game”

~ ABBA

“It's No Game”

~ David Bowie

“Wicked”

~ Chris Issac

“What's with all the damn musicians?”

~ Most people reading this

“Play the Game”

~ Meat Loaf

“It's a game”

~ Captain Obvious

“In Soviet Russia, game loses YOU!!”

~ Russian Reversal

“What game?”

~ Captain Oblivious

“You just WON the game. It's OK! You're free!”

~ The Doctor

“DAMN YOU TO HELL!!! YOU MADE ME LOSE THE GAME!!!”

~ Dr.Sex MD

“Nobody thinks The Game is stupid”

~ Captain Sarcasm

[edit] The Rules

If you think about the game, you lose the game.
You can not claim to have Won the Game this results in a losing The Game, don't do it
3 or "three" is the game's lucky number.
Forgetting The Game due to a case of amnesia will be considered a Time Out until a.)The person is re-informed of The Game or b.)The person is proven to have never forgotten about The Game, whether they remembered through their case of amnesia or they had faked the whole thing. In this case, they immediately die.

YOU CAN NEVER BE FREE OF THE GAME!!!

If you think about The Game, you lose The Game (so those of you who are reading this right now, you are just bunch of losers!(Unless you are editting this page due to the creater not understanding the rules and having to be re-made and therefore you are a master of the game and are going to lose more often). Or you don't think when you read, which makes you a loser anyway.)
When you lose, tell everyone near you that you've just lost, making them lose unlucky losers!
You are not allowed to tell the person to not ask about The Game, once you have announced you just lost The Game.
Once informed of the rules of The Game, you cannot stop playing The Game.
Do not try to win The Game. Seriously, you'll just get a big headache out of it and nothing more.
Whether thinking about The Game or not, you may not pass it off as "just another thing". Although at the same time, you can't make a huge, unsightly commotion about it, even after losing. This is overridden if you also need to make a huge, unsightly commotion about other things. It is perfectly acceptable if you make a huge, unsightly commotion about losing the Game, being cheated on by your significant other, and being mauled by a bear.
You can only explain The Game when asked the right questions. Examples include: "What are the rules of The Game? How do you play The Game? What is The Game?"
If you are asked about The Game, you HAVE to explain the rules, jerk.
Once you know about The Game, you have to play The Game. Not playing The Game is against the rules of The Game. You just lost The Game.
You can not refuse to play The Game, by reasoning of that by denying being involved in The Game, you must think about The Game, thus losing The Game. The only way to lose a game is to be involved in it, therefore, you can't not play The Game.
If you die while not having lost The Game, you get a patch. If you die while losing The Game (See the World War II section), you are a loser forever.
If you die in The Game, you die for real.
When you die, you see your high score. However, as Methuselah has the high score in The Game (having never been informed of the game), don't get your hopes up.
Since The Game resets as soon as you forget about it (or 30 minutes for some. This has been widely disputed, and those who are mis-informed tend to make up their own time limit), you can technically NOT lose The Game just by always thinking about it; because it hasn't reset because you haven't forgot about it yet. However, many consider this to be a flagrant violation of the spirit of The Game, primarily because it is a flagrant violation of the spirit of The Game, so don't tell anyone or you're sure to be beaten.
If you break the rules of The Game, you don't technically lose The Game, but as above, you're likely to be beaten for it anyway.
You cannot say "I meant to lose." NO ONE ever means to lose...Stop trying to cover it up. You lost. Get over it.
If you missmell The Game vous have probably lost The Game, just in a different language.
These rules are enforced at all times by an angry half-deaf troll, and a very unlucky man named Wesly H. who generally hates you, and he hates your dog. You may dispute any breach of the rules with the troll, but it is not recommended.
You can continually lose the game, in turn making everyone around you lose. If you are guilty of this, you are cruel, however, you cannot be disqualified for this as no one can leave the game (however much other players plead).
The only escape that has been hypothesised is death however no conclusive has been found as no one has come back to tell the tale (note: some speculate death results in eternal losing of the game) not advisable as death is permanent.
If at any point of playing the game you feel that there is a way that you might win the game, you just lost the game.
If you win the game, you win an extra virgin in heaven, a royal knighting by the English Crown and a 50 dollar certificate to JCpenney.
Whenever you win the game, you automatically lose the game.
It is common courtesy within playing the game that one must abide by every single rule, yet it is not mandatory since in any case you will lose.
You didn't not not win.
You just lost the game.

Most players of The Game will normally keep to the four basic rules for the game: 1. You're playing The Game. 2. Whenever you think of The Game, you lose it. 3. Loss must be announced to everybody. 4. You have to explain The Game to anybody who asks about The Game.

In conclusion, the only way out of The Game is to forget about The Game, but if you do that you're winning The Game, which means you can't be out of it, since you're winning it. Ergo, there is no escape!

Unless you use the cheat code (up down left right left right circle square square triangle cross R1 R2 up down left right up down left right) on your internal controller to get infinite lives...and nothing can beat infinite lives!

[edit] History of The Game

[edit] Origin of The Game

There has been claims that The Game started at a Christian College in London, England, in the year of 1995. However it is possible that The Game re-revealed itself to the students who before then knew nothing of the game. Since this occurrence The Game has been spreading at a steady pace throughout the city of London.

It is commonly accepted that when the universe was created the game was already 17 years old, though this is just a theory and cannot be proven or disproven. Although this would make the game as old as Chuck Norris.

[edit] The Middle Ages

It was forgotten altogether after becoming so popular until famous historian Pope God reintroduced The Game into the world around 1520, and was then killed for having lost. Jerk. The Spanish and British famously used The Game to their advantage to conquer small, unexplored nations, such as India and China. The Spanish most famously used The Game to conquer the Aztecs. The Aztec version of The Game was when someone remembered, they won The Game, instead of losing it. The Spanish famously imposed their version of The Game upon Montezuma and this led to a rebellion that led to the destruction of the Aztec nations.

[edit] The World War II Game

Prime Minister Khrushchev famously protesting against unbanning The Game at the 73rd United Nations Conference

The largest Game ever recorded was between the British and the Germans, most commonly called World War II. The stand off between Winston Churchill and Adolf Hitler lasted for six years. In both countries, the word "game" was banned and no person was allowed to say the word "fag". The Game ended in 1945 when Soviet leader Josef Stalin whispered "You just lost the game" in Adolf Hitler's ear during trade talks. Adolf Hitler retired to his chambers and committed suicide. When Churchill heard of this, he is reported to have said "Oh Shit I just lost the game". Contrary to popular belief, the game was won by America, making it the superpower it is today.

[edit] The United Nations and The Banning of The Game

When the United Nations first met in 1945, the first bill passed was "Bill 001 - The Banning of The Game". This led to everyone winning The Game and The Game never to be wanked. The bill passed by five votes, leading to riots in Cambodia, the world's leader in The Game at that point in time.

[edit] The Revival of The Game

In 1993, The Game was revived as a non-serious, fun pastime. Although there was some controversy at first (see the argument at the 73rd United Nations Conference), the United Nations officially changed "Bill 001" to allow friendly versions of The Game. The Game is still prohibited for any member of parliament worldwide.#

[edit] The Future of The Game(s)

[edit] The Guitar Hero

The Guitar hero is not thought by modern scholars as the physical incarnate of the game. This is believed to be true by the subjective thought that there is no way to win either game. You can only play it a little better every time you lose.

[edit] The Game: Fall Of Man

The Game was sealed behind Russian Borders for a decade, until it overwhelmed everybody and broke out. Reports of losses across Russia grew, and stories of villages losing over night, then, entire cities. We thought we were safe in Britain, but the game travelled on the underground subway (channel tunnel) and attacked. The British had nowhere to hide, the game wiped out all of the non-losing population of Britain in a matter of weeks. Sergeant Nathan Hale was sent in from America to put an end to the game, but committed suicide after losing the game thanks to a Howler (a large dog which goes around yelling to everybody, that he just lost the game).

Reports that The Game 2: X+Y = ? is due for release in November on some month in some year.

[edit] The Saying The Game

Remember The Game is always called "The Game" and it will always be "The Game". If you say "the Game" or just "Game" you are talking about something else. It will always be "The Game" and it will stay being "The Game", unless you are talking about "The Game 2" and remember not to spell it "The Game Two". The "The Game 2" cannot be typed " "The Game 2" " because it includes speech marks. So always type "The Game" or "The Game 2" without the " " " (speech marks). "The Game" is not to be confused with "The Game 2" because they are spelled totally different.

The most important thing according to the rule is not to say "The Game" or "The Game" with the 2 at the end, and remember not two or Two but 2. blah

[edit] The More info

You just lost The Game! Jerk. Aw, crap I just lost too.

Kayla Wasik is one of the only known woman to play The Game.

"The Game" has been banned in 47 states and 42 countries

[edit] The Variations on The Game

Although this isn't a strategy or rule of The Game per se, the phrase "I just lost The Game" is a highly effective pick-up line. For more highly effective pick-up lines, consult Uncyclopedia.
Many people say, "I lost the game- 1...2...3.." and then hit the nearest object, but this is usually done by stupid teenagers who are not worthy of The Game.
In Soviet Russia, The Game loses YOU!!
At The Forum, a message board on GameFAQs, one loses the game by remembering that the user "Mr. Green" is black.
The 534th greatest man alive, Gordon Lightfoot, mentioned the feeling of losing in his song "Sundown". The line "Sometimes, I think it's a sin when I feel like I'm winning when I'm losing again" is a clear reference to The Game, and helped Gordon to achieve ranking on the Greatest Man Alive Richter Scale.
To win The Game, enter the hidden code in this article into the search bar.

[edit] The perpetual Losing The Game state theory

One of the collest outcomes of the game would be to ENSLAVE the HUMAN RACE in a perpetual "Losing the Game state". This is accomplished as thus:

Person A loses The Game, and stands up to announce it. Person B hears and thus loses The Game as well. Person B announces it, and person C, who is within earshot, also hears. This continues until everyone in the world loses The Game. By now, the 30 minute rule or whatever for Person A and B has expired. Person ZZZZZZZZ has lost the game, and stands up to announce it. Persons A and B hear, and thus the entire process starts all over again. It will never end. The Game has enslaved EVERYONE, who now must constantly lose the game.

[edit] The Exceptions

As with any enslaving the human race theory, there are some possible exceptions. People who can't hear, see, communicate, or be useful to society in any way. They cannot lose the game by conventional means. Thus, they must have 500 volts of electricity zapped through their heads in Morse Code for "I (stop) J-U-S-T (stop) L-O-S-T (stop) T-H-E (stop) G-A-M-E (stop)". They're either wondering "What's 'The Game'?" or "WHY DID I JUST GET 500 VOLTS OF ELECTRICITY THROUGH MY HEAD 37 TIMES?!?!" or they're not thinking at all. Assuming the first, you use the same Morse Code of Voltage to explain the Game to them. If the perpetual Losing the Game state works, a single 1000-volt shock will remind them about The Game, and that society hates them. :)

Babies are engaged in The Game via telepathy, a very common skill
Every time a baby kicks in the womb, it has just lost the game, resulting in the carrier losing the game. We don't inform girls of the game because it is feared that they will get an abortion after losing the game so many times and this could eventually end the human race.

[edit] No One Person Wins The Game

No matter where you are, no one person can win the game. Not even Chuck Norris. The logic behind this is simple, three is the game's lucky number and there are three and only three reasons you can't win.

1). Chuck Norris will kill you if you win, beside the fact that if you win you should be dead already. He will kill you again, I'm serious. He'll fucking stab you. He doesn't want anyone winning before his Christfag ass does.

2). You're playing it right now and you're loosing... Badly.

3). There's usually some douche bag that comes to a party and is like "Dude! FUCK, I lost the game" and you're like "What's the game?" and then they're like "HOLY SHIT!! You don't know what the game is!?" and you're like "No.".... Then they drag you onto Uncyclopedia to learn about the game and then you both loose. Then you're like "Aw fuck you!" and you loose everytime you look at that person.... From now on... Bitch.

However, an isolated civilization could very well come damn close to winning The Game. For example, Australia would have won if the fucking Kangaroos didn't screw with the Aussies chances of winning.... Fucking Kangaroos. The reasoning behind this is, they are a secluded island and no one wants to go there because it's called the "Out Back" and that's where your dog shits... Do you really want to go to a place where your dog shits? Anyway, the fucking kangaroos got word of The Game and nominated one kangaroo to tell everyone in Australia about The Game - Kangaroo Jack. It's okay though, because the Aussies roasted Jack on a stick over an open fire for making them loose the game. (Aussies are poor loosers)

Now, you're probably asking "Why the fuck can a civilization come damn close to winning but not one person?". The anser is simple, even though Chuck Norris could easilly make a round house kick have the power of ten atomic bombs and easilly destroy a place like Australlia... He doesn't. No one knows the answer to this phenomina, but the fact remains, if Chuck Norris doesn't round house them for winning, they'll win because no retard there will have the fucking internet because they're an isolated civilization, duh. This means that there won't be a douche bag that's like "Dude! FUCK, I lost the game" leading you to say "What's the game?" and they're like "HOLY SHIT!! You don't know what the game is!?" and you're like "No." Then they drag you onto Uncyclopedia to learn about the game and then you both loose. Then you're all like "Aw FUCK YOU!" and you loose everytime you look at that person.... From now on... Bitch.

But in order for a civilization to win, it has to completely be whipped out. There is only one way to make a civilization win and be whipped out, you have to drop an atomic bomb. Now, most people are sceptical about this method, because they're like "What the Hell? Why would we drop an atomic bomb on someone we don't even know?" To this we would respond, "Why don't you ask the Republicans?"

But since most people are dicks and don't want ANYONE to win, they'll write the rules about the game on the atomic bomb and send a picture of it to the only news channel that this particular civilization has and then the civilization looses, then the Republicans drop the A-Bomb... Don't get pissed, you know they'd do it.

[edit] The How To Lose Less

Winning the game is impossible, as has already been established. The only thing that you can do in order to save your soul from eternal damnation is to make other people lose more. The most obvious way to do this is to say something gay like, "I lost the Game"; but that's boring, dull and soon gets repetetetetetive. The best players are the ones who can think of the most imaginative way of making other lose, like:

"I regret to inform you that you have just lost The Game."
"Your playing status has changed from winning to losing."
[tap on shoulder] "I'm very sorry, did I just make you lose The Game?"
"Your winning streak has just been terminated."
Make your 'friend' associate random things (like cats, or pens) with The Game?
Put notes saying on the the above in pages inside your friend's books.
"I'm thinkin' Arby's"
"Aww...Bob Saget!"
"make a shopping list for partner/companion and right at the very end put YOU SUCK AT THE GAME YOU LOST"
"Cover a whole room with sticky notes all saying "The Game""
"let your lawn grow to a wild jungle and mow out the words The Game in there"
"Have you found it yet?...Found what?...You lost something...what? THE GAME!"
"Once upon a time there was a guy named (insert Name) and he LOST THE GAME! the end
" No mate, you're a belm. " ( belm is German for 'game', no it isn't, you faggot )
" Change your bluetooth name to The Game and then send them a file.
" Nice day to lose The Game.

There are unconfirmed reports of there being a special patch for the one who has come up with the most imaginative way of making someone else lose.

For veterans the game has begun to be less about yourself losing but more of the sad soul who you are making lose and the best way to do this is by puns.

"I hear you have a chemistry exam! Will your magnesium being losing electrons?"
"Actually I'm reading John Milton's Paradise Lost right now"
" When life gives you lemons, you just lost The Game."

The simplicity of the loss on the losers part is often more infuriating in this way.

[edit] The Addictions

The Game is highly addictive. Even more so than nicotine, heroin and stupid gay europop. The moment you have heard about it, it is far, far, far, far, far, (this goes on forever) too late. The only known cure for The Game addictions is Alzheimer's disease. You can increase your chances of developing Alzheimer's by having high blood pressure, being old, limiting vitamin E, C and Omega 3 fatty acid intakes, smoking, stopping all exercise, exposure to high levels of aluminium (US: "aluminum"), binge drinking and sustaining severe head injuries frequently.

[edit] The Withdrawal Symptoms

(read more in the warranty and coverage of The Game)

If you are one of the lucky few who have managed to break free of The Game addiction somehow, there is a 99% chance you will experience at least 3 of the following withdrawal symptoms... Unfortunately, upon realizing you have these withdrawal symptons, you will remember The Game, and thus the positive effects will be lost forever...

Eternal Happiness
Improved Relationship with The Game playing peers
Death - the most common of all the withdrawal symptoms, as you really do have to be dead to forget.
Euphoria
Wanting to play with pokemon cards.
Becoming a common visitor to a mental home"

[edit] The Additional notes

It is strongly rumored that DHL deliver The Game.

The only known person to win the game was a certain George Forsbrook from Stourbridge, England. He invented a time machine and went back to the point where he asked his friend how to play the game, at this point he jumped on his past self and knifed him repeatedly. Unfortunately when he went forward in time he was in an alternate future where he was gay. He married a man called Alex McGrath.

[edit] The Definition of Irony

You just won the game.

[edit] The External Links

Fortunately, there are no websites documenting The Game. However:

Lose The Game A completely unrelated website not about The Game
I Lost The Game A site debating the existence of sheep
SaveTheGame.org A site dedicated to bringing salvation to the godless
xkcd #391 An attempt to allow you to win The Game, until you've realized you've won it, which means you really lost.
Ma-Wiki - Game A similar article about the game on another wiki

[edit] The See Also section...

Triple H
You Just Lost The Game!

Retrieved from "http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/The_Game"

Categories: The game | Things that may be out to get you | Things that make you lose The Game