The Game Of Life
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
Not be confused with Life (video game) which is published by Sony while The Game of Life is a Nintendo property, and therefore much less expensive and let's admit it, more fun.
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[edit] A Brief Walkthrough of the Game of Life
In order for a new player account to be created, two veteran players must get together and cooperate in a series of intruiging rythym based minigames after which a new player is spawned onto the server. The starting area is generally a Hospital of some sort, but this may vary.
At conception a random realm, is chosen for the new player, lucky players will start out somewhere rich or alternately may end up being born in a poor realm. Don't worry if you are born in a poor server. you can always ask a higher level player to escort you onto the ships that carry large numbers of players from these poorer realms to richer realms- upon landing, you may have to play a stealth section involving the realm GMs.
At lower levels you should generally start to grind levels on smaller children and defenseless animals, do not begin PvP at this point or you may end up being arrested by the GMs. Be very wary of wandering around unguarded by nearby high level players as you may come across foes higher level than you in locations such as dark alleys and public parking lots, you should be especially wary of attack of you have been allocated a female character as attackers may transfer status ailments during battle.
Once you reach around Lvl 20. you should take up a skill, hopefully one that makes you large amounts of money without much effort, though you don't generally get these skills out of the bag and much tedious grinding is needed to work towards them, eventually you can buy your Uber Mount and show it off to everyone while creating as many new accounts as you can with other players with a high Charisma stat, preferably one of the opposite sex, the admin will be the judge of that.
If you feel confident in your Str+, Con+, Agi+ and accuracy stats, you can opt for PvP by joining a dedicated PvP Clan and move to a PvP centric realm in order to kill other players without being reprimanded by the GM's, hell you'll actually be rewarded, though danger is rife and players may gank, camp and hax you without reprimand from the admin, because he's a lazy dick who never listens to anyone.
Popular PvP realms include The Middle East, Most of Africa, Communist realms and of course Sparta.
If you should die, and it is very important not to let this happen, as there is no save system, you may either be respawned on the Heaven server (if you win), or Hell server (if you lose), depending on your total reputation points, though if you follow certain religons you may be respawned as a brand new player character and had better really enjoy this game.
[edit] The Rules
The Game of Life is the first game ever created by Man. It only has two rules: 1. The game starts when you are born 2. The game ends when you are dead
[edit] The Admin
It is widely held that the admin is a dick. He commands ultimate power over the world server, but has completely neglected to use it in any direct or tangible way for centuries. Despite this, whining players constantly send him Private messages asking him to fix his shit up.
At one point the Admin decided to create an Alt so that he could find out what it was like to be a regular player, though he often was observed using hax, performing such tasks as walking on water and spawning large numbers of food items. The Admin made a big mistake and went over to the Middle East, formed a clan with 12 other people and tried to get everyone to stop PvPing in the region, as it was making things difficult for n00bs but he was swiftly owned by higher level players. Before going back to his main, the Admin changed the values of anyone with negative rep points to 0. His alternate account is currently active on the Heaven server, though he was reported to have used hax soon after his initial death in order to return to the world server and chat with his clan.
Nowadays the Admin spends most of his time sitting around waiting until the right time to reboot the server.
[edit] The score card
- Being born- 30 points
- Dying- 10,000 points for completing the game
- Having Fun- 10 points
- Eating chicken- 10 points
- Eating other foods- 5 points
- Eating Oreos- 10 points
- Eating Oreos the politically correct way- 200 points
- Eating sushi- 9876 points
- Being eaten- game over
- Being retarded- divide your score by 2 for every year you live
- Using the internet- 500 points
- Being on myspace- minus 501 points
- Using uncyclopedia.org- 1000 points
- Being white - 10 points
- Being black - 10 points
- Being purple - 5000 points
- Being any other color - 5 points
- Beating up cool kids- 25 points
- Beating up loser kids- 50 points
- Beating up freshmen- 75 points
- Getting beat up- minus 50 points
- Smoking- Lose points over a prolonged period.
- Smoking weed- 420 points
- Sweeping the floor- 1674 points
- Being a Christian- 666 points
- Being male- 30 points
- Playing music- 50 points
- Singing rap- -5000 points
- Playing guitar - 7098765 points
- PLaying Bass - 100 points and gain the ability to flirt with any girl of your choosing
- Being female- 30 points
- Getting a sex change to become female- 100 points
- Drinking soda- 10 points
- Being in a band- 50 points
- Being in a raper- minus10000 points
- Being a n00b who says "being in a raper" - Minus 30 points
- Drinking diet soda- minus 10 calories/points
- Being a hermaphrodite- 9097 points
- Drinking- you got liver problems go back three spaces or to the hospital
- Going to the hospital- minus 400 points and a few years
- Never going to a hospital by the end of the game- 401 points
- b3ing 1337- 1337 p0i47'5
- b3ing ub3r 1337 - 3x7r4 1337 p0i347'5
- Cleaing your room- 30 points
- Cleaing your room for the ladies- 60 points
- Buying a Vote For Pedro T-shirt - 625 points
- Being a person who says potaatoe instead of potatoe - minus life and lose a turn
- Being a playa- 500 points
- Getting laid- 123456789 points
- Being a virgin- divide your score by 2 for every day your a virgin starting the day you turn 16
- Loseing virginity- move on to level 2
- Taking someones virginity - 40000 points move on to level 3
- Any other forms of sexual activty 200 points for each orgasm (you and your partner)
- Masturbation- Minus all your points (Also- See being a loser)
- AAAA-AAA AAAAAA
- Being a fool pitied by Mr.T - Lose all gained points
- bing your mom- -500000000 points
- being your dad- 34567 points
- being you-minus 300 million points
- being Oscar Wilde- instant win...
- Being Mr.T - Instant win
- 010001010110-1000 101001
- being a ninja- 300 points for learning and 500 points for each kill, - 500 points if your name is Naruto
- being that guy- 345677 points
- having sex with a lesbian- 1 million points
- having a threesome with 2 lesbians- 1 billion points
- Adding more to this list- 30 million points
- Building up a resistance to large amounts of Wild Turkey Bourbon - 500 points if you're a colonel, otherwise minus 21
- Being a breeder with an IQ of less than 75- -60 points
- Using wikipedia- minus 6.5454 x 10^45
- Being re-born- UBER points for you !!!
- Being turkey slapped by your dad...-10 points
- Turkey slapping your dad back= Redeem lost points!
- Taking a shit on the toilet backwards=ULTIMATE SKID MARKS??...go try it.?=1337 points
- Shooting George Bush in the face with a 12 gauge shotgun - Instant Win
- Gettin 95% or above on welcome to the jungle on guitar hero- 1 million points
- Doing so on easy, medium or hard- -1000 points
- Kill a chav - 5 million points
- Becoming a Chav - Minus all points
- Becoming a Chav then killing yourself for being a chav- 6 million points
- Bottle my chemical romance - 2 million
- Get over 10,000 gamerscore on Xbox 360 - Minus all points
- Fuck yourself - Multiply your score by 2
- Forcing someone else to fuck themselves - Take their scroe and add it to your score
- Shouting "Eat Me" at inappropriate moments - 100 points
- Shouting "Eat Me Raw" at inappropriate moments - 1000 points
- playing on world of warcraft - minus all earned points
- playing warhammer marked as a loser for life and lose all earnable points(unable to be removed from loserhood)
- having god powers- who cares? you own!
- Eating Bacon - minus bacon unless you have more if thats the case then plus 8124654930 points
- Buy a power rangers action figure = 999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999,999 points.
- Choosing Alliance on World of Warcraft - +rep with n00bz -rep with l33t
