The Greatest Movie Ever

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The Greatest Movie Ever was a film directed by Paris Hilton, Co-Directed by Noddy and Starring Barney the Dinosaur and The Milky-Bar Kid. It won numerous oscars for Most Violent Film, Most Sickening Scene and Slutiest Director (Noddy).

The film, according to the MPAA was blamed to due some... uh... cow? ...uh... PREEOW!!!!!!!!!

[edit] The Main Cast

  • Jimmy Neutron ... The President of the United States (GOOD ONE THAN BUSH)
More evil than first suspected.
More evil than first suspected.
  • George Bush ... Clueless Child (Oscar Winning Performance)
  • Mr. T ... The Pity-nator

[edit] Plot

The film starts in a Tunisian surburb, as all 007 films do, with Barney the Big Fat Purple Dinosaur summersaulting over masonry equipment (all stunts done by the actors of course)but getting his tail cut off but a circular saw. He then goes around the world trying to find a new tail along with 300 of Athens' finest men, all wearing very little clothing. He meets a small light-saber wielding Princess, calling herself Barbie (Milky Bar Kid), and is a serial Nut-Cracker. He joins the army, but cannot fight properly because he was born deformed.

Asploding takes an important part in the movie.
Asploding takes an important part in the movie.

They then meet an almighty King (Helen Mirren), ruling over a mysterious fictional land called "Wales" with a vast army of Butlers, armed with posh accents and 8 different kinds of dinner spoon, but it was The president of the US (Jimmy Neutron) who made a guy dead. They fight them and 374 of the 300 Anthenian men die, in the battle. When suddenly, a breakout from Hell was Satan! Barney, Satan and Barbie run from battle but Barney was wounded in the ye with an arrow. They meet a Mafia Blacksmith calling himself the Godfather (Sonic) who helps rip the arrow out and build him a new all-working eye. He then joins the army now -71 strong thanks to Da Ruler of Da World (Jack Thompson). They start their own country, run by Stalin (Hitler) but the country collapses within a matter of minutes due to hyperinflation making a loaf of bread cost well over 17,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 USD. Woody Woodpecker comes and tries to stop that.

Barbie, Satan & Da Ruler blames the Godfather, Vice-President & the President of the United States for the country's downfall. She has betrayal sex with him, in one of the goriest scenes in the films including every single position from the Karma Sutra, lasting 17 hours in total, the scene ends in The Godfather dying of a chrushed pelvis. This gives a lust to Barbie who then goes on to do Stalin as well, but softer this time. He dies of Brain Hemirage.

Soon after the guy from Die Hard (Trevor Mcdonald) blasts away the blood with his immense kamehameha, his move angers Barbie who reveals a blade, enclosed within her head, and stabs the guy from Die Hard repeatedly, but he refuses to die. Eventually after 7 rounds of Crazy Golf, a browse of Uncyclopedia for a few laughs and a dance or two they become greatest enemies, but thre guy from die hard never returns into the film.

Then King Reonidas and Barbie agree never to betray each other, but Barbie instantly breaks this oath, by having sex with King Reonidas's husband, Tron (Lara Croft) within a matter of minutes Tron giving birth, as The President of the US comes, or loading seven beautiful plastic cybernetic children, each named Anakipak.

Also, the vice-president (Timmy Turner) came with the president of the US, and they notice how Tron is... "SEXY MAN, A SLUT MAN" was replied by the vice-president. Woody & The Vice-president were in love with Tron. Then, it was a Pumanity (Strong Bad). Pumaity, the president of the United States & the vice-president came fetching to a bitch!

Then Annastacia (Bruce Willis) finds out, being a Soviet spy. Why, I am not sure. But she tells Reonidas, and he has them both killed by anal, including Annastacia, 4 street urchins, a Burman chef and a sex addict called Humphry Hump (Batman). Then, went to the midget Bitch (Knut) and Captain Jew (Borat Sagdiyev). And always, the king (Stewie Griffin).

But Babrie comes back to life, swearing revenge on Reonidas. Reonidas doesn't give a shit, and coninues on his crazy crazy crazy crazy journey. He meets with an expert mercenary couple, Jessica Alba (George Clooney) and George Clooney (Jessica Alba) who are very much in violent love. They lead Reonidas to a cliff that is said to have magical powers. It doesn't and this infuriates Reonidas, but when they say there is a magic mountain he cannot resist, only to find they were lying and slaughters them... by anal, WOOTORZ!

He hires new Mercenaries, The Pity-nator (Mr T) who betrays him by the pivotal line "I Pity Yo u Foo" and commencing the carnage in the largest battle ever seen on the silver screen including captains all played by Aston Kutcher. In the carnage is a young pirate called Sparrow Jack (Johny Depp) (named so for maelsting small birds in his childhood) gets caught up in battle, taking Barney the Dinosaur's screen time and incurring his wrath. Eric Theodore Cartman came along with T3h 1337 Idiot & The Jew and save the world due to Mr. T's poop, including Captain Jew & The Pumanity.

AAAA, AAAA AA AAAAAAAAA! AAAAAAA AAAAAAA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA A! AAAAAAAAAAA A AAAAAAAAAAAAA AA AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! AAAAAAAAA! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

The Mario (SUPER MARIO) Bros. came with IAMFREEZINGMANUTZOFF (Garfield) and did some Italian cooking stuff. The Godfather came with Our Motherfucker of town (Samuel L. Jackson).

Kyle Broflovski is now considered as a jew, as Eric, Stan, Godfather, President of the US, Vice-president, Woody, Jessica, King, George & The pity-nator kill the jew! The jew will have 2 bitches for cows!! A cow was here and godfather & the king's husband kicked the cow's ass.

A film with the great friggin' jew!
A film with the great friggin' jew!

They have a battle in the most gruesome fight ever seen in cinema also revealing Johny Depp has 13 testicles buried within his skull, but his detah is somewhat like being Hung-Drawn and Quartered only with seventeen other steps.

Resurected Barbie
Resurected Barbie

After the fight, Sparrow Jack's best friend, Mickey Mouse (Walt Disney) comes to the rescue and resurects Barbie by looking up Barbie porn on the internet and doing a ritual to bring her back from the dead after having a quickie. Mickey first saved IAMFREEZINGMANUTZOFF the cat. After that, he saved the President of the US, the vice-president, The King, The Pumanity & Woody Woodpecker. Finally, The midget Bitch & Captain Jew.

Barbie, Satan & Da Ruler, now a mass of evil, quickly makes Mickey Mouse explode with Stan, Kyle, Woody, Pumanity, The King, Midget Bitch, Captain Jew & The Motherfucker in a ball of flesh/flame sees Reonidas and burns the world around him. Reonidas can only save two other individuals - Private bRyan (John Travolta) and Jimmy Numb-Nutz (Daniel Craig) and sends them into a computer program called the Matriz. Unfortunately there is an error in the programme and the virus appears in the form of Barbie, desperate to become the world's best nut-cracker (Jimmy Numb-Nutz had already experienced this) and crushes both Reonidas' and Private bRyan's nutz, blood squirting over Babrbie's all new apron.


The film ends when zooming out of the lonely demented Barbie baking solitary cookies. This includes the ending's famous last words by Da Ruler, "The Halo series are violent."

[edit] Trivia

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