The Happening

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Warning: The following text might contain spoilers. This makes the article more aerodynamic, and thus more maneuverable at high speeds. Take caution and carry a first-aid kit at all times if you don't know that Beatrice is the Orphans' Mother, Maxim kills Rebecca, Gordon Freeman accepts the G-Man's offer, Mister Glass was the mad bomber to begin with, Tony Montana dies in a raid on his mansion, Dr. Strangelove can actually walk (and everybody dies), Barnaby is already partly zombified, Camerlengo Ventresca is the Pope's son, the Joker kills Jason Todd, your rival has already beaten the Elite Four, and Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!!

“Huh? What? Who are you? Who... am... I? What am I doing here? Where are my pants?”

~ Ronald Reagan on scriptwriting

The Happening is a spoken word cover of the 1993 4 non-blondes song "What's up?" by Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch. The music video for The Happening has been widely mistaken for a feature film due to its 1 hour 47 minute length, large budget, creative direction by M. Night Shyamalan and subsequent release into cinemas.

[edit] Plot

Thousands of Americans suddenly kill themselves In this crappy M. Night smamalabab movie. It sucked major monkey balls and was a total FAIL. But it is rather funny.

[edit] Themes and artistic context

Marky Mark uses the collapse of humanity as a metaphor for the decay in quality of Hollywood film scripts. When M. Night Shyamalan heard of Marky's project, he immediately offered the music video documentary concept on the same theme; the two were immediately united in dispair. Both had previously worked on a number of quality scripts and both found the continuing trends in script quality disturbing. The music video follows the lyrics of the song, expressing utter confusion as to how the scriptwriting industry managed to saunter ever downwards, like an overweight middle aged male ineptly spiraling down a strip pole in the opening (humiliation) phase of a weight loss reality television show.
The Happening was released following several other projects also discussing the same theme, which also happened to be mistaken for feature films. In late 2007 Will Smith released into cinemas a 1 hour 40 minute advertisment for his personal aftershave line, I Am Legend, in which he suggested that both zombies and sequels can find nourishment in the brains of their companions but at the end of the day it's still a decomposing lumbering undead shell. Will Smith is currently working on the sequel aftershave, I Am Legender, also rumored to have an advertisment scheduled for cinema release.
Film watchers received Cloverfield in early 2008, dispite it being being an 84 minute long trailer for Half-Life 3 instead of a film. Expanding on the inevitable decay of humanity as a species, Cloverfield explored the idea that killing a Hollywood scriptwriter every 20 minutes would lead to improved quality, and if it didn't, everything could be filmed really dark and be scary using the precedent set by Doom 3.

[edit] Production

William Shatner provided Marky Mark with creative assistance for the ad-libbed rap based on the final lines of the original chorus:

And so I wake in the morning
And I step outside
And I take a deep breath and I get real high
And I scream at the top of my lungs
What's going on?
And I say, hey hey hey hey
I said hey, what's going on?

William Shatner's profound skill and experience with spoken word media allowed the rap to continue for over an hour with no discernable mental health issues, although extras on the set of the music video were found to be killing themselves using whatever props M. Night Coconutshy had left around the set.

[edit] The Cause Of The Crazy

Yes, that's right, Marky Mark and his friends had smoked some seriously crazy shit and they went completely crazy. This ofcourse was all an evil plot by M Night Shamylan, who had been bpossesed by the ghost of Zakk Wylde ( Oscar Wilde's long lost not so southern brother) who hated Marky because of his music's serious lack a acoustic guitar albums and squealy noises. Later M. Nigh Shamylan came to his senses and tried to sae Marky, but it was too later, they had all put on construction worker's outfits and jumped off the top of the studio, making a great opening scene for the video. And a nice minced human sandwich to satisy Shamylan's never ending hunger for human flesh.

IT'S PLANTS. All the plants in the world get wicked pissed and release toxic gases. Talk about some gay shit. I release toxic gases all the time; you don't see ME making a movie about it.

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