The Hardy Boys
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
The Hardy Boys is a popular series of detective/adventure books for boys chronicling the fictional adventures of trans-sexual teenage "brothers" Frank and Joe Hardy by Richard M. Nixon. Along with Nancy Drew and the Penthouse Letters, it ranks among the greatest American literature ever produced.
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[edit] Origin of the Name
The exact origin of the name "Hardy Boys" is shrouded in mystery. The most popular theory is that Elvis Presley's brother Aron Presley had a roommate who got so inspired after watching a movie called Jude, (which had Kate Winslet doing oomphy things) and started a club called The Thomas Hardy Boys,(named after the writer of the novel Jude ), which Franklin W Dixon heard and named his crime-fighting brothers as the Hardy Boys.
Other suggestions as to the origin of the name hinge around the fact that the brothers were already in their mid 20s when the series started, and that the name might have been a misspelling of Hardly Boys.
Still another theory traces the Hardy Boys to 19th century Yiddish literature. A popular episodic play called The Hardy Goys featured crime fighting gentiles who would help Jews solve crimes on shabbos, when the Jews couldn't travel. Some notable episodes were The Mystery of the Missing Gefilte Fish, and The Mystery of the Radioactive Peyos
An unpublished manuscript called The Hardy Boys has been cataloged in the Oscar Wilde library, but the literary invention we know as the Hardy Boys has little to do with Wilde's characters. Except for the buggery.
[edit] The original series (1927–1979)
The first 58 stories and the 38 revisions, along with the Detective Handbook and its revision, are considered by many collectors to form the Hardy Boys canon.
Most stories center around the Hardy Boys trying to murder Uncyclopedia Brown only to be foiled each time by Bugs Meany editing the clues out from under them. After failing, they masturbate each other, post the video to YouTube and call it a day.
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[edit] The Movie
In 2001 the Hardy Boys Movie was released by The Walt Disney Company. Starring Lance Bass and Aaron Carter as the two brothers, and featuring Charro as the aunt, it opened to rave reviews.
In typical Disney fashion, they altered the story a bit, making the Hardy Boys the child of a single mom, played by Rosie O'Donnell, and moving them to Newark, New Jersey. The plot centered around the Hardy Boys trying to stop a crack den from operating next door. When reasoning with the crackheads, as their Mom always taught them to do, didn't work, they enlisted the help of their brainiac friend to build an atomic bomb and blow them--and most of Newark--away, thus providing the happy Disney ending.
[edit] Becoming Wrestlers
Matthew and Jefferson Hardy solve mysteries by challenging the villains to TLC (The LOOBED Cock) wresting matches. Inspired by the Novels, they are the new Hardy Boys. They solved cases like the fake fur coats that MNM (Mercury Nitro and Melina) tried to pawn off to the public. They found the missing gold in the tag team championship matches. They solve the mysteries of the missing straight ladders during matches all the time, then jump off of them in a fit of joy that always looks cool. Sometimes they miss there landing spot ... but who cares!
They then gained notoriety as a tag team when they hooked up with Lita. During this time, Matthew became fat, and slow and was thus fired from the WWE for not being able to wrestle! He had to kiss Vince McMahon's ass to return, which he did with a huge smile and relief. When he returned, Lita had left him for a far worse wrestler and pitiful future champion Edge. Thus Matthew became a worse wrestler than he was before and has been crying ever since! Internet wrestling fans like him because they feel sorry for him! That and they rather cheer for a believable rebellious wrestler than a crybaby Canadian that thinks he always has to have it his way.
Jefferson Hardy is the stunt man, he will jump from anywhere he thinks is high, just to get people to cheer for him and make people forget he also can wrestle well.he is a crazy ass mutha fucka and kills hiself regulary.
The Hardyz are currently trying to solve the mystery as to why the hell did Vince McMahon want the ECW World Title, and Why the hell did he fake an explosion and his death?!
Recently Death Hardy aka Jeff was found out to be a hardcore Drug addict and got fired for 60000 days...During that time He was at home one day smoking some crack and fell asleep which resorted into His house being set on fire and Him swantoning out of His window onto His dog...Killing the dog instantlly...Fat Hardy aka Matthew came to the rescue and put Death into a rehab center straight away! We are currently awaiting news of how the rehab is going
Death's entry to The Rehab Game was brief, as he was atomised by Cookie Jesus, before being re-enlisted to take on the space forces of YOOOUMANGA and the Declining Ratings Forces.
FEUDING WITH EDGE AND RANDY ORTON
On the Smarch 125th edition of WWE Saturday Night BBQ, Death Hardy overheard Edge telling Randy Orton that his hair looks like a fanny. Later that night, there was a TLC (totally lost cat) match between Edge and Randy Orton and Fat and Death Hardy. Randy won the match by saving the lost cat from extinction. The following week, Death defeated Edge in another TLC match. Death later stated: "the experience has been good for me. My new finisher is Fanny Rash, a sort of headbutt."
FEUDING WITH SATAN
The Hardys latest rivalry began when Death lost a table match to Triple H. In an accident, everything that happened was REAL, not fake, and Death... died. Death sold his soul to be brought back to life. Satan began using Deaths soul as a bouncy-bounce ball, which upset the Hardys. Later backstage, Fat attacked Satan, and Death gave Satan a fanny rash.
