The Hunchback of Notre Dame

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The Hunchback of Notre Dame is a 1996 horror-documentary by Disney based on the real-life tragedy of Kwazz E. Mowdoe (Quasimodo), the bellringer of Notre Dame, Paris, who was killed after a large lump on his back unexpectedly exploded due to an alien-hatching error. It is also the second and last horror film by Disney, the other being Dirty Habits.

[edit] Plot

In the 1700's, Paris is one of the cultural centres of the world. The food quite literally is shit, the Black Death are performing at sellout concerts across the city and the water supply has been cut off for 10 years, leaving people to resort to drinking their own urine.

In the darkened times, many turn to religion, and to the cathedral of Notre Dame, where the Archdeacon (who is a complete old grouch) offers sanctuary at a fairly reasonable price. But as all of this happens, the Archdeacon keeps yet another secret in the belltower. The very first person who sought sanctuary in the Cathedral, but was so hideous that the Archdeacon employed him as bellringer for the wage of 0 francs per year. That person is Kwazz E. Mowdoe, who appears to be pregnant in the spine.

As the years pass, Kwazz remains alone as the hunch grows, and he also becomes sexually frustrated. One day, a rude gypsy named Esmerelda breaks into the cathedral and causes all manner of damage as all gypsies do to any decent society. She makes her way to the belltower and proceeds to rape Kwazz, spitting in his single eye and stealing his money. These actions push Kwazz over the limit, and he snaps, killing Esmerelda and using her body as a sex toy until it grows smelly and slimy, when Kwazz decides to find others to kill and rape.

Over the next month, Kwazz stabs several young virgins to death and rapes their corpses in the belltower, throwing their bodies into the River Seine when they grow too smelly. However, so much necrophilia wakes up people to his actions, and they set off to Notre Dame to kill him, but arrive in time to see Kwazzm in his death throes as he dies of AIDS, and his hunch has burst, and a demonic creature that hatched from it has already turned to stone in the sunlight, becoming a gargoyle. Realising what they have done, the citizens of Paris give Kwazz a decent burial, and massacre the gypsies of France.

[edit] Reception

The film was greeted with mixed reviews. Some were put off by the necrophilia, but others were interested in the surprise surrealism by Disney. However, it's commercial faliure at the Box Office meant that it would be the last horror film by Disney to date.

[edit] Cast

• Stephen Hawking - Kwazz E. Mowdoe
• Paris Hilton - Esmerelda
• Bill Gates - The Archdeacon
• Frodo - Judge Frodo
• Peter Jennings - The Jester
• Santa Claus - Captain of the Guard
• Sonic the Hedgehog - Hugo the Gargoyle
• William Shakespeare - Victor the Gargoyle
• Your Mom - Laverne the Gargoyle
• Tom Cruise - The Monster in the CLOSET!!! (uncreditted)
• Wayne Rooney - The Alien
• Bob Hoskins - Narrator

[edit] See Also

• Dirty Habits - Another Disney horror movie
• The Hunchblack of Notre Dame - A Blaxploitation film