The King of Town
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“He is not true heir to the throne of Town, he imprisoned his older brother in a block of jello after he faked hees death in a hunting accident”
~ Investigative Reporter on assignment in the town of Town
“He stole my poopsmith!”
~ Damian Panciera on Angry at the king
“I fucking hate that guy.”
~ Everybody on on The King of Town
[edit] Biography
The King of Town is an advocate of rights for fat people, reckoning that “fat people should eat all the food there is, skinny people don‘t eat this shit we should“. He has managed to single-handedly destroy PETA, eat all of its activists - a process which inspired the film Navy Seals starring Charlie Charlie.
He is not considered funny or cool by anyone - mostly because he isn‘t funny, like any other Homestar Runner character. His trademark sketch is to hoover up some butter, which many nerds find absolutely hilarious since they can relate to this activity when they set about making their faces spotty.
He has to employ Shmitty the Shitsmith to clean up his colossal piles of shit.
[edit] Character Video Transcript from the episode “Penis in the cookie dough”
{The King of Town is pimping next to his crack palace. One of his sheep chews on his penis.}
THE KING OF TOWN: Hey you, what are you looking at? Fuck off. I got to eat me bitches! Damn what's left to eat? Shit I ate ever’thing! I better eats myself! Arararararararar! (some unfunny dialogue follows...)
