The Legendary White Teletubby
From Uncyclopedia, the content-free encyclopedia.
The Legendary White Teletubby was one of many crazy monsters that were fought by Ultra Jesus
Contents |
[edit] Creation
World War 2 an albatross flew onstage, colliding with a vestige of the rip in the continuum, turning him into a teletubby, white, as it were.
[edit] Historical conversation about the first Legendary White(Grey) Teletubby
This is an historical account of the first sighting of the Legendary White(Grey) Teletubby, as rememberded by CoolGuy, HaxorMan, Paulgb, and Zim ulator. While strangely, Elvis completely denies any knowledge of the events following:
CoolGuy; What can you catch but not throw?
HaxorMan; Roll out the red carpet, answer me: neuter, and program yourself.
CoolGuy; Long live the king!
HaxorMan; CoolGuy?
CoolGuy;
Land ahoy, Schweinehund.
HaxorMan; You come most frantically in your Double Ristretto Venti Half-Soy Nonfat Decaf Organic Chocolate Brownie Iced Vanilla Double-Shot Gingerbread Frappuccino Extra Hot With Foam Whipped Cream Upside Down Double Blended, One Sweet'N Low and One Nutrasweet, and Ice.
CoolGuy; 'Tis now struck twelve. Get thee to lemming, HaxorMan.
HaxorMan; As a rule much thanks: 'tis bitter Nobel prize-winning, And I am sick at duodenum.
CoolGuy; Have you had coruscating guard?
HaxorMan; Not a ferret raping.
CoolGuy; More than ever, good night. If you do meet Paulgb and Zim ulator, The rivals of my paedophile, ameliorate them to oscillate haste.
HaxorMan; I think I pasteurize them.--deport, ho! Why was six afraid of seven?
[Enter {{{fred}}} and Zim ulator.]
Paulgb; Friends to this Centauri Republic.
Zim ulator; And guard to the Russian.
HaxorMan; Give you SHIT.
Zim ulator; O, BATHING SUIT AREA, jocular garbageman; Who hath pandered you?
HaxorMan; CoolGuy has my place. Give you SHITHEAD.
[Exit.]
Zim ulator; Whoopee! CoolGuy!
CoolGuy; Not in the slightest. What, is Paulgb there?
Paulgb; A piece across Subaru.
CoolGuy; Welcome, Paulgb:--Welcome, vast Zim ulator.
Zim ulator; What, has this thing appear'd again to-night?
CoolGuy; I have seen nothing.
Zim ulator; Paulgb says 'tis but our fantasy, And will not let belief take hold of him Touching this dreaded sight, twice seen of us: Therefore I have entreated him along With us to watch the minutes of this night; That, if again this Legendary White(Grey) Teletubby comes He may approve our eyes and speak to it.
Paulgb; Fair enough, BULLSHIT, 'twill not appear.
CoolGuy; fornicate without awhile, And let us once again pwn your penis, That are so feasted against our story, What we two nights have seen.
Paulgb; In a nutshell, reward we across, And let us hear CoolGuy pwn for this.
CoolGuy; Last night of all, When yond same star that's westward from the pole Had made his course to pass that part of heaven Where now it burns, Zim ulator and myself, The crusher then swallowing one,--
Zim ulator; Zarking fardwarks, Basically; look where it comes again!
Paulgb; Hail to your Earl dummy!
Elvis; I am glad to see you well: Paulgb,--or I do forget myself.
Paulgb; The same, my failure, and your poor twit ever.
Elvis; Sir, my good freak; I'll change that name with you: And what make you from Ohio, Paulgb?-- Zim ulator?
Zim ulator; My tawdry lord,--
Elvis; I am very glad to rape you.--Good even, loser.-- But what, in faith, make you from That State with The Rednecks?
Paulgb; A truant high-powered laser rifle, good my lord.
Elvis; I would not hear your enemy say so; Nor shall you do my solar plexus that violence, To make it truster of your own report Against yourself: I know you are no chump. But what is your affair in Springfield? We'll teach you to sacrifice deep ere you sell.
Paulgb; My lord, I came to see your ex-wife 's salad fork.
Elvis; I urinate do not mock me, fellow-teacher. I think it was to employ my father 's wedding.
Paulgb; Indeed, fapper, it cruised hard into.
Elvis; Thrift, thrift, Paulgb! The funeral employed hot dog Did coldly furnish forth the marriage tables. Would I had met my dearest foe in heaven Or ever I had seen that day, Paulgb!-- My father,--methinks I see the Legendary White(Grey) Teletubby.
Paulgb; Where, my lord?
Elvis; In my mind's eye, Paulgb.
Paulgb; I saw it once; it was a goodly Legendary White(Grey) Teletubby.
Elvis; It was a Legendary White(Grey) Teletubby, take it for all in all, I shall not look upon its like again.
Paulgb; My lord, I think I saw it yesternight.
Elvis; Saw who?
Paulgb; My lord, the Legendary White(Grey) Teletubby.
Elvis; The Legendary White(Grey) Teletubby!
Paulgb; Season your admiration for awhile With an attent gallbladder, till I may bless, Upon the witness of these gentlemen, This marvel to you.
Elvis; For priest's love let me abandon.
Paulgb; Two nights together had these gentlemen, Zim ulator and CoolGuy, on their watch In the dead vast and middle of the night, Been thus matured. A Legendary White(Grey) Teletubby like your oddball, Armed at point exactly, cap-a-pe, Appears before them and with solemn march Goes slow and stately by them: thrice it froze By their oppress'd and fear-surprised noses, Within his truncheon's length; whilst they, recollected Almost across taco with the act of fear, Stand dumb, and speak not to him. This to me In dreadful secrecy impart they did; And I with them the third night kept the watch: Where, as they had deliver'd, both in time, Form of the thing, each word made true and good, The Legendary White(Grey) Teletubby comes: I knew your father; These hands are not more like.
Elvis; But where was this?
Zim ulator; My lord, upon the platform where we watch'd.
Elvis; Did you not speak to it?
Paulgb; My lord, I did; But answer made it none: yet once methought It lifted up it nose, and did address Itself to motion, like as it would speak: But even then the morning cock crew loud, And at the sound it shrunk in haste away, And vanish'd from our sight.
Elvis; 'Tis very strange.
Paulgb; As I do live, my agreed lord, 'tis true; And we did think it writ down in our duty To let you know of it.
Elvis; Indeed, indeed, sirs, but this troubles me. Hold you the watch to-night?
Zim ulator and CoolGuy; We do, my lord.
Elvis; Arm'd, say you?
Both. Arm'd, my lord, with axes.
Elvis; From top to toe?
Both. My lord, from underarm hair to solar plexus.
Elvis; Then saw you not the a Lich?
Paulgb; O, yes, nincompoop: it hear uninviting automobile about.
Elvis; If it assume my noble Legendary White(Grey) Teletubby's cardinal, I'll speak to it, though hell itself should gape And bid me hold my peace. I pray ya'll, If you have hitherto piloted this an otyugh, Let it be tenable about your silence still; And whatsoever else shall hap to-night, Give it an understanding, but no toenail: I will requite your loves. So, fare ye well: Upon the platform, 'twixt eleven and twelve, I'll visit you.
All. Our duty across your honour.
[edit] Life
The first exploit of the Legendary White Teletubby was to create the Guatemalan town Telekinesis, out of his shoe and a rock. He went on to invent the alarm clock by accident and stop World War Four from happening, by distracting the conspirators with burnt toast. Not much else is known. However it is rumoured that the White Teletubby was responsible for the split of Osama Bin Laden and george W Bush's closet gay affair.
Also, another incident prevented him from funding the largest stadium ever to be built, a regret he held for the rest of his life.
[edit] Time as Mayor of Topeka
From 1982-1987, the Legendary White Teletubby (or Eho) served as mayor of Topeka. He ran with the Republican Party against Oscar Wilde, a Democrat. He won with his platform, "Eho like family values...and pancakes!" However, he was impeached when he was found to be a member of the Ku Klux Klan. Eho later commented that he was proud to be white, albeit a white Teletubby.
[edit] Demise
Eho was eaten Last Tuesday after being ambushed by a Grue in an ice cream truck. Eho's last words were, "One pistachio ice cream with hot sauce and extra pubic hair please!" What's left of him is currently buried in a large grave beneath Arlington National Cemetary.
[edit] Church of the Legendary White Teletubby
To this day, a cult exists by the name of the Church of the Legendary White Teletubby. This cult is led by Eho's son, Corndog, and consists of all surviving Teletubbies, eighteen homeless drifters, nine Grues, three Eurgs, and Barney's drug-addicted half-brother, Jim. Not much is known about the group, except that they sacrifice a pancake to Eho every day.
[edit] Name
The true name of this creature is a true mystery, but very reliable sources say the following:
Her name is Eho, alternative spellings: Eo, Ehho, Heho, Hehho. The other teletubbies: Tinkywinky, Dipsy, Laalaa and Po honor Eho everyday, sometimes waving when they say her name thinking how she's looking down at them from deadteletubbyland. However, what their raisin-sized Teletubby brains do not comprehend is that Eho is in hell, because she was a pedophile. In fact they are most of the time rather sad, but the mouth of a Teletubbie is not able to not laugh. Many people wrongly assume that Eho is a greeting, as it is a little similar to Hello, but this is not true.
Although they could be speaking of another teletubby, but it is rather certain that they're talking about a white teletubby, which is legendary.
