The Protocols of the Elders of Zion

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The Protocols of the Elders of Zion are a totally true and completely non-forged series of documents which show the true plans of the evil Jewish conspiracy against the people of the world. All allegations of it being a forgery are totally because the Jews control the media and governments of all Western democracies.

The fact it appears to be a forgery of the Napoleonic satire "Dialogues in Hell Between Machiavelli and Montesquieu" with Jews in place of Jesuits (down to the last letter) has no relevance at all as far as we're concerned. There is (as always) an alternate theory that both books are true, and that the Jesuits and the Elders of Zion used magick to literally channel the spirits of Machiavelli (who history shows was a known Crypto-Joo even though like all employed people at the time he was outwardly Italian and very Roman Catholic) and Montesquieu (who is French and therefore super-gay).

The natural result of publication of The Protocols is, in terms of bloodshed, nearly unmatched in recorded history. A noted exception to this is the publication of nearly every religious book ever.

1 Regulation of the Protocols
2 The RFCs
3 List of Zionist Elders
4 Other Secret Rulers of the World
5 See also

[edit] Regulation of the Protocols

The protocols are described in detail in 125 RFCs, which describe what aspects implementors MUST and MAY follow in order to be Protocols of the Elders of Zion compliant.

Full compliance with the protocols may be board-certified by Illuminati, Inc., who will send you a lovely badge you can wear to show your total dominion by the Lizards and their "Evil Joo" (tm) UnderLords. On common household items, this designation is displayed with the secret mark reading "UL Listed".

[edit] The RFCs

Protocol Directives, or RFCs for short, are developed and described extensively in the protocols. Incidentally, the jews invented Usenet just to keep the RFCs of Zion safe in case of goyim nuclear (or nucular, depending on what part of the US you are from) attack.

RFC	Subject
RFC 768	Jews must gain control over the banks of the world via some sort of relative.
RFC 791	Jews must create and maintain late fee heavy price structures and draconian "be-kind-rewind" policies at Blockbuster.
RFC 792	Jews must gain control of the remote control, thus having decision-making powers over what shows to watch. (50% complete)
RFC 795	Insist some people are Jewish, even if they don't want to be (e.g. David Cross).
RFC 798	Eating Pepperoni Pizza is NOT a violoation of the "no milk n' meat" and "no eating pork" rules. It's TOTALLY kosher!
RFC 821	Next year in Israel! It's so nice and peaceful there.
RFC 822	Get shitfaced this weekend. Totally. And go dancing.
RFC 891	Infiltrate NFL with super-human linebackers (not even freaking NEAR complete).