The Pussycat Dolls
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The Pussycat Dolls are a group of six gigantic dolls that look like demented cats. They write songs and dance like humans. Only one of them can actually sing. <--- Note: the person who wrote that was drunk at the time. The abbreviation for Pussycat Dolls is PCD (for retards who can't read and need it spelled out). Sometimes PCD uses a psyuedonym called PCB, in which - when they dance - they lubricated dangerous chemicals all over New Bedford. Now the city has PCB chemicals twelve feet below its schools, cemeteries, hospitals and nursing homes.
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[edit] Their Purring History
Rumour has it that The Pussycat Dolls were formally singers, though this is completely unfounded and there is no evidence to suggest so. It should be treated simply as an urban legend, like global warming, the effects of continuous cigarette smoking, waffles, emo deodorant and urban legends.
They do, however release "songs" (see below). How they have managed to master the art of releasing songs without managing to sing is a constant marvel and is a mystery. Possibly one of their amazing cat-powers enables them to do this.
[edit] Their Bodies
They like to brag about how beautiful and sexy they are. In fact, one of the lines in their new song 'Butts' is 'I'm a sexy doll ah'. As The Pussycat Dolls are in fact part cat, they choose to wear 1/4 the amount of clothes that humans do. Humans wear clothes, cats don't. If the world was kind these cats wouldnt be able to show their clothes to the unsuspecting human world. We dont NEED to see every bit of flesh or their newest hair style, they can tell us their sexy over and over but that doesn't change the fact - WE DONT CARE
[edit] Where They All Started
They started lapdancing at certain bars before they were famous. They could not sing and make their own lyrics as they were crack-whores from the streets of LA. Celebrities such as Lindsay Lohan, Hilary Duff, Paris Hilton and the Olsen Twins started in that strip club like the Pussycat Dolls.
[edit] Is It Their Own Music????
The only songs they wrote themselves are "Sway" and "Tainted love". Among the writers of the rest of the album, you can find Elvis Presley, Arnold Schwarzenegger, George W. Bush Senior and Buffy Anne Summers. Most of the songs are produced by an unknown producer, who calls himself Timber L. And.
[edit] Why Call It Nicole And The Pussycat Dolls
Nicole is the only one that sings for them even though she is crap. She is always in the middle of every song and the one always focused on. What about the ugly redhead and the chubby brown latina. They don't sing except in the song stick wit u.
[edit] Their Crappy Songs
The Dolls have released the songs "Don't Cha", "Don't Ya'll (Wish We Didn't Speak Like Britney Spears)" featuring Snoopy Dogg, and "Beep" (a song which doesn't have the title in its lyrics). They have also released a bunch of other songs including:
- "Sway (Or We'll Eat your Guts)"
- "Don't Cha (Remix #1)"
- "Stickwitpu"
- "Wait A Minute (I didn't have these STDs before doing you)"
- "Don't Cha (Remix #2)"
- "I Don't Need A Man (Because We're Asexual)"
- "Don't Cha (Remix #3)"
- "We're On Fire (Because We Farted Next to a Candle, oops we did it again)"
- "Don't Cha (Remix #4)"
- "Take Your Clothes Off Guys (Before we take them off for you)"
- "Don't Cha (Remix #54)"
- "We Love Naked Men With Big Muscles" (true)
- "Don't Cha (Remix #180)"
Remixes 5-53 for Don't Cha were not released, but the Dolls' will release a 13 disc album featuring all of them.
[edit] The Story of the Dolls
Barbie and her friends all started their life in a toy store, in Los Angeles that sold nothing but rubbish.
They were bought by a twelve year old genius named Artemis Fowl. Artemis wanted to give them brains so that they steal gold for him, however Foaly got his hands on these and after finding out they didn't know a thing about computers he gave them to Chix Verbil.
Chix then found out they couldnt handle his "big gun" (How were they supposed to! They're dolls!) and gave them to the music industry (because he didn't have a clue about what to do with them), who put them to good use making music videos for the brain dead chavs of the nations of the Earth.
Barbie and her friends, were then transformed into cat dolls, so their music videos had to be edited, so that they looked human. They came up with the name Pussycat Dolls and continued their lives as a bunch of useless popstars
But soon Barbie and her friends were accidentally broken. They were replaces by the Bratz dolls, who didn't last long either.
[edit] How They Got Their Name
Because they wanted to go international with their music, they decided that their name should consider of different languages.
- "Pus" = "darling" in danish
- "Sycat" = "We are" in Icelandic
- "Do" = "very" in Belgian
- "lls" = "Cool and hot, and don't you forget it!" in French
[edit] Members
According to legend there are approximately 167 Pussy Cat Dolls in total and counting. These are a few of the more notable members. Be sure to note that these are their stripper names:
- The One Who Sings
- Horny Asian Girl Love You Long Time
- George.W. Bush
- Jessiweevagina
- Emo Hitler
- Nicole Schwarzenegger
- Ashwee the baby doll
- Sanjaya Malakar
These dolls were transformed into cat dolls before they began their career. They're now enjoying some tasty low fat cat food (for mad cat dolls.)
[edit] PCD
Thanks to all the girls living in close quarters, GHB, and reverse gang bangs a new STD was created and lovingly named after the group. Signs and symptoms of PCD include nausea, headaches, seizures (this could be dancings, the jury is still out), scabies, pinkeye, sore throat, anal leakage, violent vaginal discharge, loss of cerebral spinal fluid, paralysis, lactose intolerance, xenophobia, dyslexia, and runny nose.
[edit] The Search For The Next Doll
Yes that's right, the six demented cat dolls are looking for another member. What kind of person would want to mutated into a freak? Those girls must be crazy! But fortunatly only one of them will become the crazy cat doll.
[edit] RECENT UPDATE
Shocking news, a girl has recently been declared too slutty to be a Pussycat Doll. The girl was voted off the series and is now facing the death sentence - for it should be illegal to be unleashed on the world if the sluttiest people alive (The Pussycat Dolls) have considered her too slutty.
Obviously the people on this show are actually looking for someone who doesn't look like a 'stripperella' and has a bit of class. Unfortunately, the Pussycat Dolls are lacking both of those qualities, in the near future we are expecting a mass gathering of their cds and music to be burned in one large bonfire. To rid the world of this evil.
Plans for another search for a new new member are set for the January. To save time and money, The CW network has suggested they hold "auditions" by driving a van down the red-light districts across America and anyone who approaches without open sores is automatically a finalist.
