The Racial Draft

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The Screen Shot from the Event

The Racial Draft, or Dave Chappelle's Racial Draft, is a controversial allocating system that first took place in October 2004. Dave Chappelle and Tiger Woods are credited with coming up with the system in order to settle debates about who belonged to which race. Since 2004, another racial draft was held in 2006 and another on July 4, 2007.

[edit] Origins

Dave Chappelle and hetero-life mate, Wayne Brady, were coming up with ways to call Drew Carey a cracka and tipping cows. Somewhere between saltine fat boy and collapsing 300 pounds of ground beef, came an argument whether or not Tiger Woods was Asian or Black. The debate would result in Chappelle calling Woods himself to settle the dispute. A conflicted Tiger Woods was unsure himself. The end results warranted Chappelle and Woods to settle the debate by establishing a draft.

[edit] The Setup

Dave Chappelle took it upon himself to handpick every member of each racial delegation. He ran into problems selecting a spokesman for the white delegation. Chappelle insisted that he accept the duties and dawned whiteface for the job.

Tiger Woods used his contacts within ESPN to setup television coverage for the event. ESPN was originally slated to air the event, but public outcry from the Professional Golf Association and the Ku Klux Klan led to ESPN passing on the project.

After the pass by ESPN, Woods and Chappelle put the project on hiatus. With the success of Chappelle's variety hour on Comedy Central, he decided to use his contacts at the network to get the draft on air. Comedy Central refused but did say that it was a funny idea. Chappelle gave the network a decision to air the draft or he would pull out of his contract. Comedy Central gave in but said that there would be no promotion and adverstisement for the draft.

[edit] Delegations Members

Whites

Blacks

Latinos

Jews

Swiss Financial Bank

Asians

[edit] The Draft

In the latter part of the second season of Chappelle's Show, the draft aired in a one hour special. Several ESPN broadcasters partook in commentating for the event.

[edit] 2004 Draft

Tiger Woods minutes after being chosen. Note that he is performing the C-Walk despite the red shirt.

The original draft only had five picks. Middle Eastern race was not included because people thought it would cause an explosive(pun intended) atmosphere.

Pick	Player	Race Delegation
1	Tiger Woods	Black
2	Lenny Kravitz	Jewish
3	Elian Gonzalez	Latino
4	Collin Powell-	White
5	Wu-Tang Clan	Asian

- Illegal pick but given up to whites in exchange to take Condoleezza Rice and return OJ Simpson.

[edit] 2006 Draft

The Racial Draft was forgotten by many when Dave Chappelle went crazy and joined the South Africa campaign to overthrow dictator Nelson Mandela.

It was not until January 2006, when the Wu-Tang Clan started to reissue their songs with chink replacing nigga and the cult following of Michael Richards' He's a nigger! routine brought race into the public eye once again. On September 2006, Charlie Murphy, Kanye West and Tiger Woods took another stab at The Racial Draft.

Clinton in Black Form

Pick	Player	Race Delegation
1	Yao Ming	Asian
2	John Cena	White
3	Tony Romo	Latino
4	Madonna	Jewish
5	Bill Clinton	Black
6	The Rock	Black
7	Eric Bana	Jewish
8	Cameron Diaz	Latino
9	Jason Kidd	White
10	Bill Gates	Asian

George W. Bush celebrated too early. He was not called upon.

It is important to not that Madonna spent some time studying Kabalah after being drafted. But she has since resorted to her old profession as crack hoe. Among the people expecting to be drafted was George W. Bush. He hoped to be drafted by the Black delegation in order to prove the he does care about black people.

[edit] 2007 Draft

The 2007 Racial Draft took place at Madison Square Garden on July 4, 2007.

Pick	Player	Race Delegation
1	Borat	Jewish
2	Ali G	Black
3	Bruno	White
4	Sacha Baron Cohen	Latino
5	Chris Tucker	Asian
6	Pharell	Asian
7	Eva Longoria	Latino
8	Bryant Gumble	White
9	Michael Jackson	Black
10	Seth Rogen	Jewish

[edit] 2008 Draft

Pick	Player	Race Delegation
1	Robert Downey Jr.	White
2	Mel Martinez	Latino
3	Dragonforce	Asian
4	Ben Bernake	Jewish
5	Lucille the Guitar	Black
6	Pele	Black
7	Scarlett Johansson	Jewish
9	Tia Carrere	Asian
10	Martin Sheen	Latino
10	Michelle Malkin	White

[edit] Controversy and Criticism

The racial draft has garnered much notoriety from groups such as the Professional Golf Association (PGA), The League of Middle Eastern American Citizens League and the Ku Klux Klan.

Implicating photograph?.

The PGA protested and argued against the draft because it feared that Tiger Woods, previously accepted as Asian by the PGA, would become African-American, thus making an African-American the best at golf. The KKK protested citing a very similar cause to that of the PGA. Many have speculated that the PGA and the KKK are one in the same. Many hold this theory and point to the Klan members riding in golf carts instead of their noble steeds. Others point to the fact that the KKK and the PGA are never seen in the same room at the same time.

The Middle Eastern American Citizens League(MEACL) called for a boycott of the event because of the lack of a Middle Eastern delegation. Ultimately the boycott had no effect since the draft did not sell any products or services.

All in all the critical response from prominent figures such as Afro-American leaders, Reggie Jackson and Louis Farrakhan are said to be pleased with the draft. Other leaders such as David Duke and Oprah are big fans of the draft and offered to be part of their racial delegation. The people drafted were said to be enthusiastic about their draft results. Only Collin Powell was said to be upset claiming that this was messes up.