The Robot
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The Robot was one of the most significant scourges ever to hit the planet. For thousands, the night The Robot came down from the sky is remembered as one of the most horrifying, stupefying, and asinine nights in the history of New York City.
[edit] Origins
This metal and cultural abomination landed after a long journey from a distant galaxy on June 24th, 1979 in the streets of New York and has adamantly refused to leave Earth ever since. After The Robot crawled out of the crater the starship (of unknown origin, but experts speculate it may have been Jefferson) it traveled through the frozen wastes of space in caused on its dubious "landing", it stood inelegantly in Times Square and raised it's right arm to form an "L" shape, in an apparently universal sign of peace, to thunderous applause from onlookers.
The crowd's celebration proved to be rash, however, as The Robot's arm soon fell limply from the elbow and pivoted loosely, as if it had lost power, for a few seconds. It raised its arms in front of it with a series of jerking motions and then appeared to push on an invisible block while it moved itself several feet to the left. Its legs then crossed, with more obvious jerking motions, when it spun rapidly and smoothly around, stopping again after one revolution, squarely facing the bulk of the crowd.
Quickly, it began "winding itself up" using half-spins of its forearms around one another to generate power in some previously unwitnessed method. Having repowered after the energy spin, The Robot laboriously rocked up onto the front of its feet and bowed its legs as it appeared to grow. It took several jerky, yet seemingly larger steps foreward, rocking its whole chassis side to side as it did so.
By now, the crowd was incredibly frightened and confused, luckily for them, the did not know what The Robot had in store.
As it "Un-Transformed", The Robot linked its arms in front of it and executed what appeared to be a banker and a strange pirouette that would have been impossible were it not for the 360 degree rotation of its shoulder joints. Despite its being on Earth, where we have Gravity, The Robot began a series of leg movements that looked as though it must be moving foreward, and it took a few seconds for the crowd to realize the horrible truth. They scattered, screaming in terror as The Robot moonwalked several of their number into smithereens.
At once, the National Guard was called into action, but even they were powerless to stop it. The weapons they fired did nothing. The EMP shockwaves they fired from their floating science vessels did not harm it. It continued its dancepage through the streets and office buildings of New York, leaving behind a trail of rubble and funk.
Just when it seemed that it could not be stopped, it came to the East River to continue its horrible movements. From the water erupted a spray of mist and an enormous wurm flopped onto shore, moving as it came with undulations along its entire length. It wrapped The Robot tightly in its coils and restrained it.
After the night of destruction, The Robot was powered down and separated from its neural network, which was then communicated with by scientists. It was agreed that the robot could stay until it fixed its ship in exchange for never doing that shit again. The Robot relocated to southern Florida and can still be seen working on his ship during daylight hours at Disney's Future World.
Yet, it is said that if you go to the central everglades on the 24th of June and wait until the sun rises like a disco ball, directly overhead, you can see it work its real magic.
It has repeatedly been asked to finish its ship's repairs a little faster, which it will not do.
[edit] Ramifications
Human Beings, being dumbasses, took The Robot's coming too seriously. While certainly a local tragedy, it was not, as some now regard it, a religious event. Robotists take the busted-looking motions of The Robot and mimic them in a dervishlike frenzy from which they extract spiritual significance. Less common are the wurmists, who treat the movements of the aforementioned "hero worm" with similar reverence.
Categories: Technology | Evil Technology | Machines | Dance | Culture
