The Shakesbeatles

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Back then, England was a land of sorrow, a den of evil, and generally a pretty down place. It was simply the point in history after William Shakespeare and the Beatles, and there was no hope. From an alternate universe, a group of mice noticed the plight of humanity: who would sing upbeat songs? who would write plays about usurpers, murderers, and merchants from Venus?

Using all of their empathy, they began to feel sympathy, and asked of their leader, a giant HAL 9000, they were instructed to wait for 42 years until a solution could be created. Deep within the electrodes, microchips and potato chips of the computer, a plan was forged.

[edit] Origins

The Great Computer contemplated, and eventually came to a conclusion: No living creature on earth has been happy since the demise of both Shakespeare and The Beatles. Therefore, the problem lies in humanity's penis envy and Oedipal complexes. While we're waiting for that all to work out, we should take the finer points of both the group and the playwright who caused so much joy. Thus, imbued with super-human powers to be used for the good of all mankind, The Shakesbeatles were born.

...However, due to poor planning, all of the resources in the Mouse Universe were used up in creating the Shakesbeatles, thus their ultimate purposes: world peace, free love, four-day work-weeks, and an end to world hunger, were never achieved.

[edit] The Band Members and Biographies

[edit] William "I Won't" Lennon

The First of the Shakesbeatles forged, he was granted the powers of super strength and flight. He was also the lead singer, lead actor, and lead guitar. In a way, he was the true leader of the group.

[edit] George W. Harrison

The Second Shakesbeatle to come forth. He was capable of turning water into funk on his guitar. He also had control over fire, water and wind. Earth was always giving him a hard time, though. He often played the secondary male parts in the plays, and harmonized on all of the songs.

[edit] Paula McCartney

Due to some weird flux, the third member of the band was made strangely older than the rest, which made him perfect for all of the roles requiring a venerable man. His power was that of telepathy, and after a small accident, he spent a few days in a wheelchair. He later claimed that he enjoyed it so much that he stuck with it.

[edit] Gringo Starr

The last Shakesbeatle, and the youngest. Sadly, he was often given the really lame parts, children, women, etc. He was also given a drumset, because all the good instruments had been taken. He was the rebellious member of the group, but this never caused problems because his powers were so limited; he was caphttp://uncyclopedia.org/skins/common/images/button_italic.png Italic textable of controlling anything named for a Shakesperean word (IE, "bed" or "vomit"). The worst known vomiting on record was when he was told to play Ophelia, and William threw up for a week.

[edit] (Would have been) Number One Shows/Singles

• Twelfth Night's Dream
• Othello's Magical Mystery Tour(some of the earlier folios of this have some ∀ damage to them, making it harder to read. Generally, this isn't the end of the world; it sucked.)
• All You Need is Love's Labours Lost
• King Lear's Lonely Hearts Club Band
• A Midsummer Night's Yellow Submarine (the band still vehemently denies any Kitten Huffing during the writing of this)
• The Love Tempest
• Greetings Farewell
• King Richard's Emo Soliloquy Performing Troupe (the less successful sequel)
• The Taming of the Loompa
• MacBeth's Silver Hammer.
• Eleanor Hamlet (All the crazy people)
• Hey Juliet