The Three Stooges
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“Those dudes really know how to rock MANNN!”
~ Iggy Pop on The three stooges
“The Chubby one reminds me of my old plumber, minus the crack”
~ Oscar Wilde on the three stooges
“As long as "stooge Viller" wasn't one of them, I am OK.”
~ Dick Tracy on the three stooges
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[edit] The Three Stooges
Though there were actually six in all, the original Three Stooges consisted of Larry Fine, Curly Howard, and Moe Howard... and Shemp, I guess... but he doesn't really matter that much. The original Three Stooges came to rule Germany for 3 years, until they created the film "You Nazti Spy" and were chased away. Sadly, Curly couldn't run fast enough, and suffered a stroke. The two remaining stooges, Larry and Moe, then got that Shemp guy to be the new Curly. He was funny and everything, but he looked like an old lady, so they had to let him go later on. He then died of a stroke 7 years later. Larry Fine and Moe Howard were in a tough place now. Moe had somehow had a black bowl surgically attached to his head. Curly just used 300 grit sandpaper to keep his head hairless, but Larry had to stick his finger in an electrical socket every day to get his hair to frizz properly. Then Curly died, because God said "Curly, there simply aren't enough funny guys up here, Buster Keaton is just too sad looking, and I don't really like him..." Curly listened to God, and died at the age of 154. Moe then had the bright idea to make some fat guy he once met named Joe Besser a new Stooge, but no one liked him, and Curly Joe DeRita ate him and demanded that he become the new Stooge. They let Joe become the new guy, but at this point, Moe was a dinosaur (literally), and Larry was unhappy that Moe had changed species. He quit the whole thing, in much the same manner that Paul quit the Beatles, and "The Three Stooges" died. They did appear on an episode of MTV Celebrity deathmatch, in which Curly was brought back from the dead, but Moe got killed, and Larry was turned into a sperm because of a time machine, and still must be living. Their best work was done at New York University in the early TV days of kinescopes, before videotape. It can be viewed at www.nyuk.org, but nobody cares really.
[edit] Former stooges
- Iggy Pop
- Weird Al Yankovic
- That fat guy from "Are You Afraid of the Dark?"
- Jambi
- Gerald Ford
- George H. W. Bush
- Bill Clinton
- Kathy Griffin (First and last Female stooge)
- Strong Bad
- Homer Simpson
- Larry the Cable Guy
- Ben Stiller
- John Wayne Gacy
- John Paul Jones
- Santa Clause
- Richard Simmons
- Cat Stevens
[edit] The original Stooges
[edit] Larry Fine
Larry was obviously the best of the Stooges. He, like, had the coolest hair, and is everyone's favorite. He won the award for best person ever in the world ever. His whereabouts as of now are unknown, but we are pretty sure that he is dead... but he was old, so it was ok. Yeash, I'm stoned, so what, Larry still rocksosk!
[edit] Moe Howard
Moe was a really angry person who was obsessed over Liza Minelli. Little is known about his early life, except that he would regularly masturbate to National Geographic, which led to a slight electrocution incident involving a hamster and a rubber band; this is believed to be how the 'black bowl' haircut originated. One day when his hair fell off due to him being an old piece of shit, he had a black bowl surgically attached to his head, so it still looked the same in black and white film. When he got old, he miraculously turned into a dinosaur. Moe currently resides at the Field Museum in Chicago with his wife, Sue, also a tyrannosaurus.
[edit] Curly Howard
Everyone loves Curly. Name someone who doesn't; if you do, you're full of crap. He was nearly elected the President of the United States in 1928, 1932, 1936, and 1940 (without running at all) but lost each election by a margin of three votes. He also got in trouble with the law because he had thousands upon thousands of driver's licenses made. They were all taken away, and sold at various shops around the US. Curly died in 1922 of an overdose of jigger of sapfrascass and paritutin-t-t-t, well before the shorts were made, but his spirit remained until the late '40s, when he was replaced by John Tesh.
[edit] Curly Joe
Ridiculous
[edit] Shemp Howard
Nobody cares about Shemp. Period.
Eventally Shemp was jailed for trafficing hemp to pay for Moes countless beatings which lead Shemp into a downward sprial of bad hair days as he tried to open his first gay hair dressing saloon.After dying of a stroke induced by Larrys bad hair style,Shemps Hair Dressing saloons become extremely popular in the 80s where bands such as Duran Duran,Haircut 100,Spandal Ballet and dont forget Flock of Seagulls often visited ( The lead singer of that seagulls band become ceo of shemps saloons).
Seriously.
[edit] Joe DeRita
The first non jewish stooge.The italian stooge who ate too much pasta.
[edit] Joe Besser
Gay.
