The USSR
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The USSR, not to be confused with the USSR, was a giant red whale that prowled the skies of Earth during prehistoric time. The USSR preyed on Independantus Nationasaurus and large quantites of Vodka. The USSR gained worldwide fame during the latter half of the 20th century, when the Baleen Wall was constructed from one. However, around the year 1991, the last USSR was killed by a Capitalistodont.
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[edit] Evolution
The USSR is believed to have evolved from the Marxii family, especially the branch of Lenii. Another theory is that The USSR evolved from the Engels family, although this theory has generally been disproved, since no one really cares about Engels. Recent research has shown that The USSR is a direct descendant of Bolsheviks, and, to a lesser extent, Mensheviks. The USSR branched off into several other species, known as "satellites", including Poland, Bipolar disorder, Hungary, Hungry, Czechoslovakia, Cxecholovakia, Souvlaki, The United States of Blahblahblahblah, and many others. Several subspecies have been found, including the horribly twisted Stalin and China subspecies. North Korea can also have its roots traced back to The USSR.
[edit] Habitat
The USSR had a very large range, including what is today Asia, Eastern Europe, Yugoslavia, John F. Kennedy, and the homes of the Hollywood Ten (who were commie bastards and deserved what they got!) The USSR generally lived in wooded areas, which is uncommon for a whale, and large colonies have been found in vodka distilleries.
[edit] Extintion
The last USSR is believed to have died in 1991, ironically at approximately the same time the USSR collapsed. The extinction is generally accredited to shortages in Independantus Nationasaurus and vodka, The USSR's only food sources, as well as a rise in the amount of Capitalistodonts, The USSR's predators. However, even after the last USSR was killed in a freak accident involving furbies, the "satellite" species continued to survive, although most evolved further, shedding their red coats and interbreeding with the UN, NATO and the EU.
[edit] Rumors Of Return
It is rumored that USSRs have been sighted in the Kremlin, especially in the area around Vladimir Putin's office. This has caused a surge of chinese and geekese immigration to Mother Russia over the last decade, bolstering the economy so that people are buying things other than Vodka. Not much though.
