The Un-Wiki War

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HOLY @#$%!!!
Wikipedia has finally come with those cruisers!!!
I told you we needed to get those gauss cannons...
Un-Wiki War
Date: 2005 - Present
Location: Wikiland
Status: Stalemate
Result: Who knows? The war's still goin' on...
The Wikipedian Army
The Wikipedian Army
Combatants
Uncyclopedia (the "Uncyclopedian resistance"),
Ireland 		Wikipedia (officially "The Wikiland Alliance for serious and unfunny articles"),
Anti-Uncyclopedia
Political Affiliation
☭ Funny - Anarchist 卐 Serious - Fascist
Commanders
Oscar Wilde Image:Icons-flag-us.png King Jimbo I (dead), Adolf Hitler
Military Strength
18,000 3,500,000
Military Casualties
1 (as of yesterday) 3,499,999 (as of yesterday)
Un-Wiki War
Invasion of Uncyclopedia - Battle of Nintendorulez - Dublin - Battle of AAAAAAAA! - Battle of N00B - Battle of Linken Park - The Missle War



The Un-Wiki War is an ongoing war between those lying, sperm gun swallowing, wicked Wikipedians and the smart, cool, and amazing Uncyclopedians. Uncyclopedia's goals in this war are to show the truth about Wikipedia to everyone, and destroy the Wiki Mind Control Machine. The machine, located inside the Wiki headquarters, has been, and still is, used by the evil Wikipedians to cause many to defect to their side. The Wikipedians are devious in their ways and are, in fact, considered to be nearly unstoppable. But the Unclyclopedians have continued to wage their secret war, regardless of how bleak it may seem.

Contents

[edit] History of the War

The war began in 2005 when Oscar Wilde was searching a wiki engine, when suddenly the engine, which turned out to be Wikipedia, hit him like a ton of bricks. It is unknown what the first actions he took to alert people to this were, but it has been said that he dropped his coffee cup and screamed like a little girl, but it was the first that alerted Jesus to his plight.

The war was not easy. In the beginning there was a very small but powerful Uncyclopedian resistance, led by Oscar Wilde. But, when Mr. T, one of the resistance's key allies, was critically injured on the field of battle, the war took on a turn for the worst. But the resistance was saved when, one day, Buster Keaton agreed to aid Oscar Wilde if he would mention him in Uncyclopedia. But, as yet, there has been no progress in the war, even with such a powerful ally.

Wikipedia was, and still is, the most powerful and influential of the wikis and continues to be unfazed by Uncyclopedia's continued attempts to bring it to its knees. But as time passed, Uncyclopedia picked up more and more allies to help them. This war is one of the few times in history when Kittens and Humans have been on the same side, against the sinister Wikipedians.

[edit] Wikipedian Offensives

Those Wikipedian scoundrels have, up till now, used many powerful weapons to try and defeat us Uncyclopedians. They used the power of their wiki gods to claim that we're a sub-branch of theirs to lure our forces to their side and steal funding, blocked our troops, spread false information about us Uncyclopedians to everyone, and that sort of thing ( with, of course, the exception of incyclopedia which has been thriving independently). They even spread propaganda. Idiot liars.

[edit] Current State of the War

The war has already begun to wind down now. Both sides are becoming exhausted. Uncyclopedian guerillas now commonly huff kittens before battle. But neither side is giving up. Uncyclopedia is still fighting, despite the power of the Wikiland Alliance.

[edit] Wikipedia's Offense

Wikipedia has a BJAODN, Bad Jokes and Other Deleted Nonsense. They use that as a vault of true info, so it can't be found. They also have many so called "Facts." The nature of this weapon is not known, but some Uncyclopedian scientists have theorized that this weapon is possibly responsible for the 1986, 1888, and 2008 destruction of Australia and the creation of knowledge. We are going to kill King Jimbo I, and then we will win the goddamn war!

[edit] Uncyclopedia's Offense

We have a few people on our side:

NOTE: We petitioned the above people, but they have yet to reply

[edit] Enyclopedia Dramatica's Offense

Recently, some known Encyclopedia Dramatica users have been caught engaging in vandalism of both Wiki- and Uncyclo- pedia pages. The fact that they're also attacking the other side is the only reason why both Wikipedia and Uncyclopedia haven't teamed up and squashed those n00bs once and for all.

There is substantial debate within the Uncyclopedia community as whether or not to join Encyclopedia Dramatica in its crusade on Wikipedia. However, all proponents of this plan have been discovered to be n00bs, morons, or 12 year old emos. Oppenents of the plan are all just pathetic dumbasses or white people who think that Tupac is still alive.

Those not allied to either side have all gathered in large numbers across the globe to see the hilarious fallout that is sure to result from the war between the two lulz superpowers.

[edit] Goals

We don't want this! Delete it all!.
We don't want this! Delete it all!.

Wikipedia - To destroy all fun and promote school. They are guilty of the creation of "knowledge" and truth.

Uncyclopedia - To destroy Wikipedia, knowledge, to promote Fun, and most of all, to let everyone enjoy the wonders of sex and pornography!

[edit] Sabotage

Recently, Wikipedia was caught sabotaging articles on Uncyclopedia. One GENIOUS from Wikipedia left a message on the shit article's "History" section. The war heats up.

[edit] Notable Casualties/Fatalities

This is what we want..
This is what we want..

Uncyclopedia has yet to have any notable casualties/fatalities, just a bunch of loser posers with no life but to edit random nonsensical articles.

Wikipedia has suffered a plethera of deaths, mostly the result of Friendly Fire and Kool-Aid not to be confused with Band-Aid.

There are 3,499,992 more, but no one really cares.

[edit] WHAT YOU CAN DO TO HELP

  • DESTROY!!!@!@shift+3##
  • Never, ever give up
  • Use Uncyclopedia in jokes on Wikipedia [[1]] [[2]]
  • Edit Wikipedia as much as possible to the point it no longer exists! Gurrila Tactics are the key. Vandalism (of Wikipedia) iz the pwn!!!!1!
  • DELETE EVERYTHING. YAHOOOO! XD
  • Can we emphisise it enough... BLANK EVIL WIKIPEDOPHILEIA PAGES!!!!

[edit] See also

This article is a pile of crap. The article submitter may also have been huffing kittens . You can help Uncyclopedia by whipping it into shape.
Retrieved from "http://uncyclopedia.org/wiki/The_Un-Wiki_War"
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