The West Wing

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Award of Confusion! Apparently this article is damned funny. It is not an inside joke or vanity page, but you pretty much need a PhD to get it. Or so we've been told, most of us seem to prefer humour involving masturbation and/or Jesus. The author may have been masturbating over a picture of Jesus. You can send him to hell by giving him an atomic fisting. This is both an award and a warning, direct as used.

Many birds migrate in north-south directions due to the precession of the equinoxes. This means that during a migration they have one east wing and one west wing. Of course, the west wing would become the east wing if they simply turned around when the season changed ("precessed"), and this would be confusing.

That is why birds fly upside-down going south, and rightside-up going north. By this strategem they keep the same wing to the west at all times.

“A goose's west wing may stretch toward the sunset, and his east toward the dawn, but his doodler always hangs straight down.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Goose doodlers

“Male geese don't have doodlers, Oscar. Still, an amorous goose has as much fun with his cloaca as might be reasonably expected.”

~ Mark Twain on Goose sex

“Mark Twain may run a steamboat up and down the Mississippi but he cannot run his hand up and down my leg. Not after cracking wise about geese.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Mark Twain