The Who
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“The Who? I Saw them live at Woodstock”
“Who's who?”
The Who is a classic rock/morris dancing band from Norfolk, Nebraska. Known for their stage act of playing guitars at maximum volume and then destroying them in a sexual fashion, all the while singing "Hey Nonny-No" and prancing around the stage like complete lunatics, The Who have had released over seven bizillion albums, each one of which went on to sell well over ten trillion copies worldwide. Polka Rock has never been the same since. They composed several youth anthems and the CSI soundtrack. Great friend of Weird Al Yankovic.
What many people don't know is that The Who were originally known as The Flossynossyinthehillifipillifications, but after constantly being referred to as "the Who?", soon adopted the name.
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[edit] Band Members
[edit] Keith Watt
The asshole with the band, Watt was described as "the idiot" for his outrageous and rebellious antics both on and off stage, including (but not limited to)
- Biting the head off a Teddy Gram and then eating..a dog.
- Urinating on the band and himself, licking it off until he could be sick over his kit, and then playing it, claiming the vomit added to the sound
- Sucking lead singer Davy Daltray's toes mid-song
- Making love to teddy bears
- Driving into swimming pools
- Ordering one of everything on a hotel room service menu except for badger soup, of which he would always order two
- Destroying his drum kit, then using shards of the kit to attack random audience members
- Missing flights so he could throw televisions into hotel swimming pools.
- driving into a swimming pool and drowning (that was his best one)
- Ripping in half the wife of people he disliked.
- Throwing shit at the audience.
- And,conjuering the devil to breathe down their throate,disolve their testicles and turn their intestines into snakes.
[edit] John Alec EntWistle
The bass guitarist. He is one of few Ents in British popular music. He earned the nickname "The Ox" due to his strong tendency to rape and humiliate oxes. EntWistle is most commonly known for his 4 back-to-back bass solos in My Generation but that is only the beginning of it. He uses a unique style using all 4 of his fingers with his right hand. He is the Roman God of the Bass. He learned to play the bass by means of selling his soul to the Devil. He was the best bassist in the world, and now is being forcibly held captive by Satan himself. We must gather the angels and quest to earn his freedom!
[edit] Pete Townshendhendbendsend
Born on December 25, 1 AD; thought to be Jesus's twin brother. He was sexually abused as a child (some call his abuser "Uncle Ernie") which explains why he dances like he has a hot potato in his pants. Contrary to popular belief he was not born with a Gibson in his arms. That was brought to him by a fourth wise man who mistook him for Christ. After hearing of his mistake, the wise man exciled himself to America and founded the Menonite religion. He has been in a heated relationship with Davy Daltry since the Battle for Middle Earth in 398 4th age. Pete has written many love songs about Daltry's hair such as: Who's the Dude With the Hair That Looks Like Creamed Corn?, I Love Yellow People, and the smash hit "Sexy Back". Lives today happily with Davy and popular singer/songwriter George Michael in a van down by the river. Wrote Album Tommy. Funnily enough he was the first Japanese Ballerina to do the Swan Lake badkwards up David Geffen's anus.
[edit] Robart McDaltrations
Commonly referred to as "wot!?!?!?" since that's his reply to everything. Lost his voice in the 2006 tour, still looking for it. It is heard that it was lost when the old geezer did the scream to "Won't Get Fooled Again", and his old geezer lungs couldn't handle it. He has a small acting career, including when he guest starred on CSI, but it doesn't matter since no one watches that show anyway.
McDaltrations also works as a manager at the McDonald's in East L.A. Upon his arrival one of the employees was overheard saying, "Meet the new boss, same as the old boss."
Other members include George Soros, Fidel Castro, and the 51st United States Congress.
[edit] A Brief History
The Who formed in 1957, although for some strange reason they released the album "Who The Fuck Is Karl Marx?" 620 years before they formed. The original members of the band were Roger Daltrey, Pete Townshend, Keith Moon and John Entwistle. Pete Townshend was the songwriter for the band, and often found inspiration for his songs from unusual places. The song "I'm A Boy" was an extraordinarily accurate description of the way Roger Daltrey was treated by his mother from ages 0-40. Townshend also wrote "Magic Bus" the day he smoked 2 pounds of marijuana and wandered onto a busy highway and was hit by a "magic" bus (according to him). "Happy Jack" was about murderer Jack The Ripper, whose victims included Elvis Presley, Julius Caesar and Pete Townshend."My Generation" was originally "my Penentration", but due to sexual lyrics, the song was not released. Daltrey claims it was about Taxidermy, but we all know what it means. The band was famous for smashing their instruments and Abbie Hoffman to bits, and by doing so helped add to the sport of Breaking Shit.
The Who split temporarily in 1979. The first event that led up to this split was Keith Watt's death on September 1978, from an overdose of heroin, cocain, alcohol, marijuana, ecstasy, painkillers, kittens, speed, pork and Keith Richards. He was immediately replaced by Keith Moon. On December 1979 at a Cincinnati concert, Keith Moon cannibalised eleven thousand audience members, before finally exploding. He was immediately replaced by Keith Watt (which is particularly amazing [or repulsive], Watt having died in September 1978).
The band released several albums after Moon's death, the last one being "It's Hard". This album was full of sexual innuendo as the title states. It really was HARD. This was released in 1982. All the Who did after this was tour.
Until John Entwhistle died in 2002 after being fired out of a cannon located in the Royal Albert Hall.
In 2006 The Who released their first studio album in 4, 678.45 years; "Endless Wire: Where, Oh Where Will It End. I Don't Know. It's Really Long. For A Wire Anyway." This included the 342 song "mini-opera" "Wire and Ass".
The Who are currently on a tour of east Peckham, then the world. This will end at Glastonbury 2007.
[edit] Band Practice Locations
The band's preferred practice spot was located in a stretch of boggy marshland in the countryside known locally as Pete Townshend and located just South of Northern England. The spot was desirable not only for its acoustic muffling effects but also for the presence of a stench which ensured the band would be left to practice experimental morris dancing moves without the noise that ridicule might normally provide.
[edit] Selected Discography
- Whoo-Ahh, (1955)
- Who am I???, (1960)
- Who are the Beatles?(287)
- Who is That Girl I Met at the Club Last Night? I Hope She Reads This: I Lost Your Number, So Try and Contact Me, OK? I Thought This Would Be the Most Appropriate Way to Tell You, (1960)
- Who is This Guy?, (1960)
- Who Built the Wall?, (1962)
- Who Was That? Oh, Just My Imagination., (1964)
- Who are You??, (1965)
- Who-La-Whoop, (1965)
- Who In The Band Just Got Pitied By Mr. T?! (1965)
- Who Framed Roger Rabbit?, (1965)
- (Who Sings) My Masturbation? (1965)
- Knock Knock, Who's There?, (1966)
- Who's on First, What's on Second and I Don't Know's on Third, (1967)
- Who Shuts the Hell Up?,(1967)
- Who Sold Out? I thought it was The Beatles!!!! (1967)
- Who is That Band? The Who. The Band! The Who., (1968)
- Who are You?, (1968)
- Who Who, "Tell me baby", Who Who, "What's my name", Who Who, "Tell me sweetie", Who Who, "What's my name"... (1968)
- Who the Hell are You, a Sequel?, (1969)
- Who is That Tommy Guy Again?, (1969)
- Who's at Leeds?, (1970) (live)
- Who's Next? Me? (1971) (including mega-hit "Won't Eat Prunes Again", later popularized by friend Weird Al)
- Whodrophenia, (1973)
- Who!? What!? Huh!?!?!?: An Ode to Townshend's Lost Hearing, Love Reign O'er Him (1973)
- Who Stole the Cookies from the Cookie Jar? (Who Me? Yes you! Not Me! Then Who?): Odds and Sods (1974)
- Who Has The Time to Read All of These?,(1974)
- Who's Counting Numbers (1975)
- WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU????!!!! (1977)
- Who is Alright? (soundtrack) (1979)
- Who Killed Keith Moon? Kenney Jones did! (aka Ass Dances), (1981)
- Who's Hard to Listen to (1982)
- (Who's an) Endless WHOre (2007)
- Whooooo Whoooo Whoooo Goes the Owl (released posthumously in 2007)
- Who the Fuck Are You, Bitch?! (2008)
- Who Will Make Us Stop Releasing Albums, (2008)
- Who Gives A Fuck?, (2009)
- Who Goes On Porn At 3:30am...Not Me?, (2010)
- Who Has Sex With Pigs?, (2013)
- Who Can Write Songs Other Than Townshend?, (2015)
- Who the fuck came up with all these album titles? (2016)
- Who the fuck asked that shit? (2016)
[edit] See Also
The Who had several rival bands, including, but not limited to:
- The Why
- The What
- The Where
- The How
- The When
- The not to know Who,Where,What,Why,When and how,featuring Stalin!
- Korntera
- Doctor Who
- Hydrogen Balloon
- The Whence
