The end of the world
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  Warning: The following text might contain spoilers. This makes the article more aerodynamic, and thus more maneuverable at high speeds. Take caution and carry a first-aid kit at all times if you don't know that everyone but Horatio dies, and Fortinbras takes over, Metal Sonic was posing as Eggman the whole time, Trinity and Neo die, Number Six escapes from The Village, "To Serve Man" is a cookbook, the button in the hatch really does have to be pushed, Kristin Shepard shot J.R., Richard Hatch wins, Fayed detonates a nuke, the book "The Number 23" is actually about Jim Carrey's character's past, Brandy Alexander is Shannon's brother, and Soylent Green is PEOPLE!!! |
“I only have twenty-three hours and fifty-six minutes to live? Well, I guess there's no point in saying anything witty about that.”
~ Oscar Wilde on The end of the world
“You'd be amazed over what one can do with twenty-three hours and fifty-six minutes.”
~ Jack Bauer on the above
“HOKAY”
~ Jason Windsor on The End
"Me and my poor friends will, if the world ends in 2012, won't even be out of high school...poop! (we all think it's unfair)" {{|Some poor sonvabitch|The End}}
[edit] Overview
The end of the world will occur promptly at 1:30 tomorrow afternoon. Although there is a vigorous debate about how this will actually happen (see The worst case scenario), one thing is certain: we are all doomed.
[edit] Is There Anything I Can Do?
Fortunately, there are plenty of things you can do. None of these things, however, will prevent the world from ending.
- Prayer (there may be a backlog and therefore a delay in getting a response, however)
- Duck and cover
- Dance a festive jig
- Hijack the Space Shuttle and head for the International Space Station. However, there is only 6 months worth of supplies there. At least you will have a good show before you starve to death.
- Write an angry letter (there may be a backlog and therefore a delay in getting a response, however)
- Hump everything that moves
- Stand very, very still
- Lick your dog's vagina and/or dick
- launch a nuke at china
- rape dora the explora
- Cover your entire body in duct tape. I MEAN ALL OF IT (yea even the naughty bits). If your lucky this will reflect what ever death beam/ray/lazer/almighty-smiting-force that will destroy the world.
[edit] What Will it be Like?
See (The worst case scenario) [edit] Well, We're Doomed. Now What?If you're looking for answers at Uncyclopedia for this sort of thing, it is my sad duty to inform you that you have come to the wrong place. The world is going to end, and however it happens, one thing is certain: it will be terrifying, horribly painful, and be a huge inconvenience. Everyone is advised to repent now, because after the world ends it's pretty bloody pointless to repent, now isn't it? Choose any diety/prophet/demigod you like, except for Mohammed - he doesn't want to hear your self-absorbed bitching. There are virgins to attend to, you know. If you are an atheist or agnostic, we recommend you find the nearest religious person to you and adopt their beliefs in short order. Researching what religion might be right for you is too time-consuming, and is liable to make you even more panicked than you will be as the world comes to an end. [edit] Why Now?There is even more vigorous debate about why, of all the times for the world to end, the world is ending next Thursday at 1:30PM. Experts point out the following factors as partial, or in some cases, primary causes of the eternal damnation of mankind and the horrible death of us all, though other factors may be at work:
[edit] See also
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