The shits
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The shits is the phenomena that people experience when they experience a paranormal phenomena, go to the IRS for a audit, or other stressful matters. Symptoms include a HUGE wet spot appearing on the bottom of your pants, a horrible smell, and loud noises exiting your ass. In the later stages, there is a smelly brown wet mess in your pants. Your pals won't allow you to be with them after this has happened, thus causing a stigma to be associated with this human function. The only cure for the shits is clean pants, deodorant, a shower and isolation from what caused the shits to happen. Another cure is a LOT of milk and cheese.
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[edit] Causes of the shits
Varied, cheese, includes spotting something that the US Government has not approved for public viewing, such as a flying saucer, aliens, Bigfoot, going to the IRS, going to have sex with Janet Reno (Or Your Mom), a trip to Mexico, and some of the Admins who eat pie, Cisco Company's Linksys Wi Fi unit, which IS shit, taking a trip to India and eating the food there. Physics, PE and Drama lessons have also been identified as attributing factors. Additionally, those who do NOT reside in and around the midwest may wish to avoid any Wal★Mart outlets due to their high probability for the occurrence of Wet and Stink, as well as human to human gastronomic and fecal exchange. As such, extra caution should be exerted in the vicinity of transparent low-density polyethylene cups, as well as the surrounding aisles.
[edit] Symptoms
Wet pants, horrid smell, wet sounding noises coming out of the affected person's ass, the presence of shit in your pants.
[edit] Cures
Video Games, Chuck Norris, Emily Blanchard, clean pants and underwear, Shitting, deodorant, shower and temporary isolation from what caused the shits to happen. A extreme cure is to sew the person's ass shut or shove kittens and puppies up their ass. This however should not be done with a kitten that you later wish to huff, as an inadvertent dirty sanchez may occur.
[edit] Recent Developments
The shits had played the roles of Bulk and Skull in The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. Recently, the shits were seen with protesters protesting the U.S. laws regarding illegal shitting in public, laws passed by cats and kittens, the new law, called H.R. 500 states that if it shits, it is to go to Washington, D.C. to do so, so that the residents there can make new laws out of the shits, such as laws promoting mandatory $300.00 per gallon of gasoline, laws promoting puppies and kittens to be Dick Cheney's targets for his shooting pleasure, laws mandating that Bigfoot has sex with YOU, laws mandating that the Taco Bell Dog has anal sex with kittens and puppies, The Bird Flu, David Letterman's Shingles, You, Me, Bigfoot, France.
Recently, the shits were seen on Uncyclopedia, looking for YOU, me, some of the Admins on it. Speculation is that they were in compliance of H.R. 500 and Senate bill 6.B1200, which says that if it shits, it is to report to Washington, and give the shits to anyone who dares to protest US policies.
[edit] Explosive Diarrhea
Explosive diarrhea is the medical term for a really bad case of the shits where the wet shit flies out of your asshole with explosive force. It has been known to cause shit water to splash up from the toilet onto you or into your mouth which should be avoided. In some cases, this shit will blow up the toilet, spraying shit all over the place. Senator McCain has expressed interest in the shits, but he is far too old to take a shit.
[edit] Remarks
- Mexico shits on YOU!
- The military calls this "The G.I. Shits."
- New Admins often get the shits.
- Admins give new users the shits
- IPs often get shit on, NOT Welcomed to, Uncyclopedia
- In Soviet Russia: The shits get YOU!
- Thats what happens when you eat KFC!!!!
- MAN NOT THE COUCH
- Seran wrap on the toilet while having the shits is unnecessary and may lead to your friends hating you
- Obama IS the shits, after being shitted out by Hillary Clinton
- Wikipedia IS The shits
