Thong
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A thong is a thin strip of underwear, mostly made for men, meant for reducing the amount of poop-streaks by up to 80%.It is to be worn dead square in the crack of the ass. Several tests have been performed on monkeys in the 1970's and by the 1980's, they were available to everyone in vending machines everywhere. It is also the name of a Chinese traveller who helps Ator fight that John Saxony type guy.
It was invented in 1342 by a French Scientist by the name of Guy Duculottes when he was tired of his daughters' underwear turning up in the laundry with humungous poop stains.
Originally they were made of paper and he had to admit, they didn't last long in the water. It wasn't until 1345 that he changed the formula from paper to leather, and then to cotton, and then back to leather again. It turns out that leather is an active turd fighting element.
[edit] More History
It was the year 1901, and the thong's popularity grew. Sisquo popularized the thong in the song "Watch the music video and jerk Off". Waves of French exotic dancers and slutty gypsies that all had the same name of "Sluttina Aquafina" made their way on banana boats to the great US of A and slowly settled down in great numbers around various cities. Candace Macmullin has been known to wear the same thong for weeks on end.
Unfortunately, many thongs were lost when a cargo ship carrying millions crashed outside a beach somewhere in Alaska. (See The Thong Wearing Eskimo Tribe Theory)
Meanwhile, back in the US, the thong had its humble beginnings in the many factories producing fake sheep wool because it was mistaken for a machine part. Then, due to it's elasticity, it was shipped to the local toy store and made into the slingshot we know today. The man who had this idea was soon shot within a week after making a fortune by an insane jealous inmate . His name was never relased because it was too darn long to say. People who tried to say it were like to die of kidney disorders and freakish purple feet pnemonia before they could ever finished saying it. It's even too long to type in this very article. Very Nice!
-Borat
[edit] See Also
- Bikini
- Hippopotamus
- France
- The Thong Wearing Eskimo Tribe Theory
- The Thong Dynasty
- George W. Bush
- Glace Bay
[edit] Quotes
“I love those things! I got my sister some salad tongs for her baby shower just last year! They were silver.”
~ Oscar Wilde on Tongs...
“They're not made of leather, they're spandex! I was looking at one of my mom's, and they are 97% spandex...”
~ Grant on Thongs
“Although they were meant for wearing, I find them most favorable when dipped in gravy!”
~ Stone Cold Steve Austin on Thongs
